Funny Valentine Song to the Tune of Amore

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
That’s amore.

When an eel bites your hand and that’s not what you planned
That’s a moray.

When our habits are strange and our customs deranged
That’s our mores.

When your horse munches straw and the bales total four
That’s some more hay.

When Othello’s poor wife, she gets stabbed with a knife
That’s a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight used a sword in a fight
That’s Sa…mur…ai.

Writer unknown

Valentine’s email forward for you!

I had an X-ray done today, and they found you in my heart. The Doctor said if they took you out, I would die, because I could not live without you as a friend, or e-mail buddy!!!

Give this heart to everyone you don’t want to lose in, including me if you care. Try to collect 12; it’s not easy!

TOMORROW IS NOT PROMISED.

SO, cherish your friends!

Valentine’s Day – Best Gift Ever

My Valentine

Curling Humour

Curling… when you can tell your lady that she is wide without fear of getting whacked upside the head with a cast iron pan.  Or proclaim out loud that she is too heavy, knowing that your comment has been heard by countless bystanders.  Where you can order your better half to sweep, sweep hard, and having the never before seen result of actually seeing her gutting it out just to please you!  For in curling, you are the king of the house!  ~Author Unknown

Valentine Wife

Nigel, an alcoholic, staggered into a bar on Valentine’s Day and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated there, walked up to her and gave her kiss in honour of Valentine’s Day.  She jumped up and slapped him really hard.  Nigel immediately apologised and explained, ‘Look, I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife.  You look exactly like her.’

‘Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!’ she screamed at the top of her voice.

‘Funny,’ Nigel muttered, shaking his head, ‘you even sound exactly like her.’

Cupid’s Help on Valentine’s Day

Be My Valentine Fail

WHY DO FOOLS FALL IN LOVE?

VALENTINE FOOL

In 1956 Frankie Lymon, aged only 13, sang

‘Why do Fools Fall in Love?  

In the song, he also asked:

Why do birds sing so gay?

Why do lovers await the break of day?

Why does the rain fall from up above?

WONDER IF HE EVER GOT ANY ANSWERS?

Why Do Fools Fall In Love lyrics

Oh wah, oh wah, oh wah, oh wah, oh wah, oh wah

Why do fools fall in love?
Why do birds sing so gay?
And lovers await the break of day
Why do they fall in love?

Why does the rain fall from up above?
Why do fools fall in love?
Why do they fall in love?

Love is a losing game
Love can be ashamed
I know of a fool
You see
For that fool is me

Tell me why, Whyyyy, Whyyy
Tell me why

(Background Music)

Why do birds sing so gay?
And lovers await the break of day?
Why do they fall in love?

Why does the rain fall from up above?
Why do fools fall in love?
Why do they fall in love?

Why does my heart skip a crazy beat?
Before I know it will reach defeat!

Tell me why, Whyyyy, Whyy

Why do fools fall in love?(Hold Long)

Valentine Puns

ON VALENTINE’S DAY

MANY PEOPLE TAKE HEART

Volcano

**

I lava you!

Devil

You’re hot, I love you.

You lucky devil.

Dinosaur

You are dino-mite

Don’t let our love become extinct.

Golf, Tees

I’m crazy fore you

You make my heart putt-putt

Suited to a tee

We are a Par-fect couple

Cupid

 All-I-Gator say is I love you 

I’m wild about you 

Snappy Valentine’s Day

I’d snap at a chance to be your valentine

Angel Food Cake

Thanks for being an angel—you take the cake

You’re the right catch 

You are my All Star

We’ll have a ball together

You batter believe that I love you

We’ve really hit it off

You stole my heart

With you as my valentine, I’ll never have to play the field

Every time I’m near you I get all choked-up

Nuts

I’m nuts about you

Here’s to all the nutty things we’ve done

Popcorn

Popping in to say Happy Valentine’s Day 

Don’t mean to be corny, but will you be mine?  

You are pop!-pop!-popular 

I’m e-kernel-ly yours

TEA

You are pre-tea cute 

Love is brewing 

You are tea-riffic 

Love you to eterni-tea 

You suit me to a tea

TIME

The time we spend together is priceless 

Time stands still when I’m with you 

I’ll love you ‘til the end of time

I love you big time 

TRAIN

I choo-choo-choose you

What are you a-freight of? Please be my valentine!

We are on the right track

Our love will never de-rail

You steam roll me over

You are on the ex-press track to my heart

Our love will never need re-training

Yoda one for me

More Animal Valentine Puns and One liners

Q: Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
A: Sure, they’re very scent-imental.

Q: What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
A: “I love you a ton!”

Q: What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
A: “You’re fun to hang around with.”

Q: Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
A: He fell in love with a pincushion.

Happy Valentine’s Day

VALENTINE CUPID FAIL