Longevity Advice to heed

Longevity Advice to heed… 

 

107 Yrs. old

 

Old age humor

Longevity Advice to heed

 

“For better digestion, I drink beer. 

In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine. 

In the case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine.

In the case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch.  

And when I have a cold, I drink schnapps.”

 

“When do you drink water?”

 

“I’ve never been that sick.”

FacebookTwitterGoogle+Share

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - December 9, 2014 at 5:06 pm

Categories: 0. Best email forwards, 1. Funny Email Forwards, 3. Old Age or Golden Years Jokes, Education, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Happiness, Humor, I've learned that..., Inspirational, Interesting Facts, Jokes, Wisdom   Tags: , ,

Old Man Winter and Jack Frost ~ Winter in Canada

 Old Man Winter and Jack Frost ~ Having Fun in Canada

jack frost funny

 

A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water. ~ Carl Reiner

cold dog funny gif

 

How to survive Winter in Canada:

https://www.mun.ca/isa/info/SURVIVING_WINTER_IN_CANADA_infosheet.pdfold man winter jack frost funny

Took the next 3 photos today!

old man winter canada winter

In the bleak midwinter Frosty wind made moan,

Earth stood hard as iron,

Water like a stone; Snow had fallen

, snow on snow, Snow on snow,

In the bleak midwinter, Long ago.  Christina G. Rossetti

winter canada jack frost

 

And for the season it was winter, and they that know the winters

of that country know them to be sharp and violent,

and subject to cruel and fierce storms.  William Bradford

The Christmas Song

(Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) : Lyrics

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping on your nose, Yuletide carols being sung by a choir, And folks dressed up like Eskimos. 

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe, 

Help to make the season bright. 

Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow,

Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Santa’s on his way; He’s loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh. And every mother’s child is going to spy, To see if reindeer really know how to fly.

And so I’m offering this simple phrase, To kids from one to ninety-two, Although its been said many times, many ways, A very Merry Christmas to you

jack frost old man winter

I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure of the landscape – the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter.  Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn’t show.  ~Andrew Wyeth

One kind word can warm three winter months.  ~Japanese Proverb

Jack Frost is a sprite-like character with roots in Viking lore. There, he is known as Jokul Frosti (“icicle frost”). In Britain and United States, Jack is a variant of Old Man Winter and is held responsible for frosty weather, for nipping the nose and toes in such weather, coloring the foliage in autumn, and leaving fernlike patterns on cold windows in winter.

winter in canada

we’ll never know who sent her the little lady named winter

but she danced into our hearts and stole away sweet autumn’s grace

filled our hearts with her sparkling face of snow and cold ice her laughter in the winds calling to us like a friend

dress up warm and come out to play ’cause nothing’s as fun as a cold winter’s day

STARE AT THE SNOWMAN FOR 3 SECONDS THEN CLICK ON IT

FacebookTwitterGoogle+Share

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - November 15, 2014 at 6:22 am

Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, CHRISTMAS, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, Famous Quotes, FUNNY EMAILS, Great Pictures, Humor, I've learned that..., Interesting Facts, Wisdom   Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Turkey for Thanksgiving

Turkey for Thanksgiving

 

Maybe not!?

turkey for thanksgiving poster funny 2014

In 2014, Americans will eat some 46 million turkeys during Thanksgiving.

But, supplies are dropping because U.S. grocers are currently paying the highest prices ever.

Farmers produced 4.239 billion pounds (1.47 million metric tons) in the nine months through September, down 3.3 percent from a year earlier, government data show. Wholesale prices tracked by researcher Urner Barry have jumped 16 percent from a year earlier to a record $1.24 a pound in the week ended Nov. 10, signaling higher costs for supermarkets that usually sell turkey at a discount to spur more holiday business.

More than 20 percent of annual turkey consumption occurs on Thanksgiving, which will be celebrated this year on Nov. 27, the National Turkey Federation estimates.

From Wikipedia ~ The centerpiece of contemporary Thanksgiving in the United States and Canada is a large meal, generally centered on a large roasted turkey. The majority of the dishes in the traditional American version of Thanksgiving dinner are made from foods native to the New World, as according to tradition the Pilgrims received these foods from the Native Americans. However, many of the classic traditions attributed to the first Thanksgiving are actually myths later introduced.

FacebookTwitterGoogle+Share

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - November 14, 2014 at 11:09 am

Categories: 0. Best email forwards, 1. Funny Email Forwards, 5. Funny Poster of the Day, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Funny Pictures, Great Pictures, Great Posters, Humor, I've learned that..., In the News, Interesting Facts, Thanksgiving   Tags: , , ,

Why Wear a poppy for Remembrance Day?

 Why Wear a Poppy?

Here’s a video that was produced by a school in Oakville, Ontario.
              Hope it gets shared.
The photo below is of the ceramic poppy display outside the Tower of London in England… one poppy for each of the 888,246 soldiers of Britain, Canada and the Commonwealth countries killed in the Great War.
                 Lest we forget.

Why Wear a poppy for Remembrance Day?

remembrance day

Why Wear a poppy

Wikipedia ~ Why wear a poppy?

The remembrance poppy (a Papaver rhoeas) has been used since 1921 to commemorate soldiers who have died in war. Inspired by the World War I poem “In Flanders Fields” by Canadian physician Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, they were first used by the American Legion to commemorate American soldiers who died in that war (1914–1918). They were then adopted by military veterans‘ groups in parts of the former British Empire: the United KingdomCanadaAustralia and New Zealand. Today, they are mainly used in the UK and Canada to commemorate their servicemen and women who have been killed in all conflicts since 1914. Small artificial poppies are often worn on clothing for a few weeks prior to Remembrance Day/Armistice Day (11 November). Poppy wreaths are also often laid at war memorials.

The remembrance poppy is especially prominent in the UK. In the weeks leading up to Remembrance Sunday, they are distributed byThe Royal British Legion in return for donations to their “Poppy Appeal”, which supports all current and former British military personnel. During this time, it is an unwritten rule that all public figures and people appearing on television must wear them; some have berated this as “poppy fascism” and argued that the Appeal is being used to glorify current wars. It is especially controversial in Northern Ireland; mostIrish nationalists and Irish Catholics refuse to wear one, mainly due to actions of the British Army during the Troubles, while Ulster Protestants and Unionists usually wear them.

poppy remembrance day

Why Wear a Poppy?

 

FacebookTwitterGoogle+Share

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - November 10, 2014 at 8:51 am

Categories: 0. Best email forwards, Beautiful Email Forwards, Canada, Education, email Forwards, Famous Quotes, Great Pictures, I've learned that..., In the News, Inspirational, Interesting Facts   Tags: ,

Singles’ Day

Single’s Day

 

November 11 in China

Biggest shopping day in the world!

Single's_day_illustration

Happy Single’s Day!

Single’s Day or Guanggun Jie (Chinese???pinyinGu?nggùn JiéWade–GilesKuang-kun chieh; literally: “bare sticks holiday”) is a day of celebration for people who are single. The date is chosen for the connection between singles and the number ‘1’. This holiday became popular among young Chinese people. In recognition of the day, young singles organize parties and Karaoke to meet new friends or try their fortunes. It has become the largest online shopping day in the world. Alibaba’s Singles Day Event Every year Chinese retailers selling everything from clothes and electronics to real estate have to decide whether or not to participate in Alibaba’s Singles Day event, an extravaganza of online shopping that dwarfs America’s Black Friday and Cyber Monday combined. This year, 27,000 merchants will participate, hoping for a slice of the enormous pie; $5.8 billion in merchandise was sold last year. This year, Alibaba’s sales are expected somewhere in the range of 50 billion yuan ($8.17 billion), according to Ben Cavender, principal at China Market Research Group, a 40 percent increase from last year. Happy single's Day

FacebookTwitterGoogle+Share

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - at 8:39 am

Categories: email Forwards, I've learned that..., In the News, Interesting Facts   Tags: , ,

Best Ghost Story Ever

This is the best Ghost Story Ever 

The Ghost and Curtis and Leroy

It was a dark and scary night… 

Bet Ghost Story Ever

Best Ghost Story Ever

 

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests,

the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom,

he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put.

He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed,

gathered up the bed sheets,

and threw them out the hospital window.

Curtis and Leroy were walking / staggering by the hospital after spending a few hours at a Halloween party in the local bar. The sheets landed on Curtis. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to

get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As he stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the

sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter),

and who had watched the whole incident,

walked up and asked, “What the heck is going on here?”

Leroy replied: “I think my friend just beat the crap out of a ghost.”

best ghost story ever

Best Ghost Story Ever

 

FacebookTwitterGoogle+Share

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - November 1, 2014 at 9:12 am

Categories: 0. Best email forwards, 1. Funny Email Forwards, Adventures of the Hillbillies - Curtis and Leroy - Jokes, Dumb People, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Halloween, Humor, Jokes   Tags: , , , ,

Halloween Rules for Seniors

halloween rules funny

Halloween Rules for Seniors 

You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:

Halloween Rules for Seniors
Halloween Rules for Seniors
You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:

10. You keep knocking on your own front door.
Funny Halloween Costumes gif

9. You remove your false teeth to change your appearance.
Funny ghosr Halloween Rules

8. You ask for soft high fibre candy only.
Pumpkin carving gif
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag,
you lose your balance and fall over.

Halloween gif good
6. People say…’Great Boris Karloff Mask,’ 
And you’re not wearing a mask.

Boo Glitter

Halloween Rules for Seniors

5. When the door opens you yell, ‘Trick or…’
And you can’t remember the rest.


4. By the end of the night,
you have a bag full of restraining orders.
Happy Halloween Gif great



3. You have to carefully choose a costume that

doesn’t dislodge your hairpiece.

Old man gif

Halloween Rules for Seniors

2. You’re the only Power Ranger in the
neighbourhood with a walker.
Pumpkin gif halloween rules

Halloween Rules for Seniors

And the number one reason Seniors should not
go
Trick Or Treating…
*

*

*

1. You keep having to go home to pee.
halloween witch gif

No matter, have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN anyway…
happy halloween gif
FacebookTwitterGoogle+Share

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - October 31, 2014 at 1:02 pm

Categories: 0. Best email forwards, 1. Funny Email Forwards, 3. Old Age or Golden Years Jokes, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Funny Pictures, Halloween, Humor, I've learned that..., Interesting Facts, Jokes   Tags: , , ,

Cute Ghost Joke

Cute Ghost Joke

cute ghost joke

Why the Little Ghost Couldn’t Go Haunting on Halloween Night

Once upon a time, there was a little ghost who wanted to go out haunting for Halloween, but he didn’t have anything to wear.

So he went to all the other ghosts

to see if he could borrow a costume.

That didn’t work, so he had to stay home

because….

 

cute_ghost_joke

nobody gave a sheet!

 

Happy Halloween ghost joke

FacebookTwitterGoogle+Share

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - October 29, 2014 at 6:19 am

Categories: Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Halloween, Humor, Jokes   Tags: , , ,

BUTTER IN YOUR COFFEE

coffee-butter humor

Butter in your Coffee

Are you aware of the new trend, butter in your coffee, going around that may forever change the way you drink coffee. Instead of the usual cream and sugar, many people are now adding butter to their coffee and it’s just about the greatest thing ever. I love coffee AND butter. This has some definite possibilities. Hmmmmmm. I am also very fond of bacon….. Personally, I like my bacon with chocolate… Mmmm chocolate buttered bacon coffee.   Tried butter with my coffee… ruined my coffee maker!

Here is the Bulletproof recipe.

  • 2 cups of coffee.
  • 2 tablespoons (at least) of grass-fed, unsalted butter.
  • 1-2 tablespoons of MCT oil.
  • All mixed in a blender.

A few of the best butter and coffee puns:

Have you heard about the new trend? I butter not tell you or you might spread it around.

Some people say drinking coffee this way makes them feel butter.

Said the coffee to the butter, “You’re my butter half.”

This new Coffee recipe has bean the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion with my wife even though I tried to butter her up.

.Tried to make some puns about butter but the margarine for error is too big.

When he spilled coffee on her shirt she showed him dis-stain and said I butter be able to get this out!

This butter coffee tasted like mud because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.

There is some pressure to try this new drink… you butter do what we say or we’ll assalt you!

butter coffee

Butter in your Coffee

FacebookTwitterGoogle+Share

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - September 24, 2014 at 7:52 am

Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Funny Sayings, Humor, I've learned that..., In the News, Interesting Facts, Jokes, PUNS   Tags: , , ,

A little walk down memory lane

a little walk down memory lane

memory lane

I bet you remenber all of these.
Baby Doll pjs  Remember these 1950's '60's   Loved Baby Dolls so comfy on those hot summer nights.
Sealtest Ice Creamcroquet...we played in our backyardHeaven Sent.Tinker Toys.  -- Hours and hours of fun with these!vintage 1950's Bulova.  My Mom wore hers everydayBringing your lunch to school in a brown paper bag...with it stapled at the top and my name written on it :)four     leaf clover pressed in bookSugar DaddyBronzed Baby ShoesI remember these, but cherry Luden's were my favorite.A little walk down memory laneThis is an antique music download service.. place in front of speaker, wait for song, and hope that everyone can be quiet for 4 and a half minutesChicks of various colors. We     called them Methiolate.  for boo boo'sI remember these trendy aluminum drinking glasses. Could never decide which color to choose!lucite grapesSpent     hours making these.Bank   BooksDid these come in laundry soap boxes or from a gas station when you filled up w/ gas?  We had a set of them!I was allowed to stay up until the end of Ed Sullivan to watch Topo Gigio :)  vintage topo gigio vinyl toy ('60s? '70s?)Remember the fruit flavored wax  coke bottles!White baby shoes with the bellsThis is the   way   we dry our hair, dry our hair, dry our hair . . .All my elementary school papers were printed on a mimeograph...I can still smell the purple ink :)Kids say the darndest things....Remember using this?An old Outhouse at the abandoned   Homeplace of Michael Crowell near Halls Mill in Bedford County, Tennessee.    Collecting photos of  Middle Tennessee Outhouses seems somewhat strange, but due to the fact that these Tennessee treasures are fast disappearing from the Tennessee landscape makes it all the more necessary to photograph them. Those   Outhouses   which have not been destroyed or removed by human hands and urban development are fast decaying from the elements of time. It is to our native T...Black and White Saddle ShoesTransistor RadioFloor Model vintage radioDear Diary ...General Store Paper Cutter, EveryeskimoReinforcement rings...because your notebook paper holes would   tear and these   would mend them...We had these Wooly Willy magnetic toys in the 1960's when we were kids ...Formica table, vinyl chairs.  I would love to have one nowLibrary cardsmascara-add waterThis is how ears were pierced back in the day!....with a needle after freezing your ear with ice.the old auditoriums

a trip down memory lane

1970’s rotary dial phone

noxzemaDoing the Bunny Hop!The odd positions we would lay in on the floor when talking on the phone.Woolworth & Kreske's soda fountains ... our favorite treat of the monthShoeless Teenage Couples Dancing in HS Gym During a Sock HopKnow what these are? Think music..... Yep, you put them in the middle of 45s (small records) to make them fit on the stem of the record player.Hard to believe!stockings in a boxGas Stations used to be called service stations ... they would rush to your car, check the water and oil, put air in your tires, wash your windows, and pump your gas.glass fuses~ used before current circuit breakersdagwood.chenille bath robes Good old times  -  REMEMBER !!pant stretchers.....helped reduce ironing & make the front pleat.Ricky NelsonRemember   ever having to do this????Interior of one room schoolhouseRed Skelton eclectic spellingHomemade ice cream ....waiting to lick the dasher!Seamed stockingsDick and JaneA very   elegant, frill-free box of vintage Crayola crayons. #Crayola #crayons #vintage #stationery #office #school  #supplies#vintage. #turquoise #aqua  #camera 1940 real silver tinselled christmas tree! Stunning!...and then you would save the eggWringer Washing MachineMilk ManJacks Game: Multicolored metal jacks and a red rubber ball...window tray at the drive-indiaper pinswaterproof pants which were referred to as pic up stixsElementary School  GlueRoller Skating at the Roller Rink on Saturday afternoons.Drive-in theaterson mom's dresserAluminum Christmas treePincurls with bobbie pinsCap gun, roll caps*pinball machinesI had a pet turtle!!rusty gas pump...Library card catalogsdancing cigarette pack ads

FacebookTwitterGoogle+Share

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - September 22, 2014 at 8:27 am

Categories: 0. Best email forwards, 1. Funny Email Forwards, 3. Old Age or Golden Years Jokes, Education, email Forwards, Funny Pictures, Great Pictures, I've learned that..., Interesting Facts   Tags: , , ,

Next Page »

http://twitter-widget.com/blog/button-html/