Third grade teacher Mary Morris from Strawberry Plains, Tennessee, really wants a snow day — “or two or maybe 23.”
Morris released “Snow Day”her oh-so-relatable parody of Adele’s “Hello”on Jan. 5. On Thursday, as snowstorms began threatening the East Coast, she released the impeccably well-timed music video of her parody, complete with her own version of Adele’s now-iconic getup of a fur coat and oversized sunglasses.
Should go viral! It’s one of the best parodies and certainly the best snow day parody
I thought this little “Joke” about legalizing marijuana was quite timely.
A recent poll showed
a majority of Americans and Canadians support legalizing marijuana!
A Politician’s Stance on Legalizing Marijuana
A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward legalizing marijuana.
“If you are talking about the substance that is an effective treatment of seizures and migraines, that also helps MS patients, and relieves pain, nausea and vomiting and increases appetite in people with cancer and AIDS. The substance that relaxes its users in this terribly stressful world? Can you imagine the tax revenue that we senators could put to good use to help the 99%. Then I’m all for legalizing marijuana. Besides, there is no existing evidence of anyone dying of a marijuana overdose.”
‘However, If you mean the demon weed that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, and desecrates family life, then I’m against it.
This is my position, and I will not compromise.’
I love Marijuana
Funny Quotes about Hypocritical Politicians
A hypocrite is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree, then mount the stump and make a speech for conservation. Adlai E. Stevenson
In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing. – Autobiography of Mark Twain
The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet. – Mark Twain in Eruption
I was really too honest a man to be a politician and live. Socrates
An Inspirational Thought
Happy New Year by Catherine Pulsifer H appiness depends upon your outlook on life. A ttitude is just as important as ability. P assion find yours this year! P ositive thoughts make everything easier. Y ou are unique, with special gifts, use them.
N ew beginnings with a new year. E nthusiasm a true secret of success. W ishes may they turn into goals.
Y ears go by to quickly, enjoy them. E nergy may you have lots of it. A ppreciation of life, don’t take it for granted. R elax take the time to relax in this coming year
Ever wonder about the real reason why we put an Angel On Top Of The Christmas Tree?
Why We Put An Angel On Top Of The Christmas Tree
When four of Santa’s elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mum was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the Door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, “Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?”
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven’t heard about it.
A “heads up” for those men who may be regular customers at Target, Lowe’s, Home Depot, Costco, or even Wal-Mart.
This one caught me totally by surprise.
Over the last month or so, I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don’t be naive enough to think it couldn’t happen to you or your friends.
Here’s how the scam works: Two nice-looking, college-aged girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. (It’s impossible not to look). When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say “No” but instead ask for a ride to McDonald’s.
You agree, and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you,
while the other one steals your wallet.
I had my wallet stolen October 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also November 1st & 4th, twice on the 6th, 8th, and 9th, and very likely again this upcoming weekend.
So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.
Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for $.99 at the dollar store and bought them out in three of their stores.
Also, you never get to eat at McDonald’s. I’ve already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe’s, to Home Depot, to Costco, etc.
So please, send this on to all the older men that you know and warn them to be on the lookout for this scam. (The best times are just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)
Daddy, I am coming home to get married, soon. Get out your check book. LOL I’m in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in Australia , and he lives in Scotland . We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, he proposed to me on Skype, and now we’ve had two months of relationship through Viber. My beloved and favorite Dad, I need your blessing, good wishes, and a really big wedding!”
Lots of love and thanks, from your favorite daughter.
Lilly’s Dad’s reply (also texting)…
Dad has it all together
My Dear Lilly, Like Wow! Really? Cool! Whatever! I suggest you two get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon, and pay for it all through Paypal. And when you get fed up with this new husband, sell him on Ebay!
L.O.L. , Daddy!
ANOTHER WEDDING PROPOSAL JOKE
Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love.
One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny’s father to ask him for her hand.
Johnny bravely walks up to him and says
“Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.”
Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies,
“Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?”
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies “In Jenny’s room.
It’s bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.”
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin,
“Okay then how will you live? You’re not old enough to get a job.
You’ll need to support Jenny.”
Again, Johnny instantly replies,
“Our allowance…Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks aweek.
That’s about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine.”
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this.
So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won’t have an answer to.
After a second, Mr. Smith says, “Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out.
I just have one more question for you.
What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?”
Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says “Well, we’ve been lucky so far…”
Whoever wrote this must have been my next door neighbor because it nearly describes my childhood to a ‘T.’ Hope you enjoy it.
Black and White
Black and White
(Under age 40? You won’t understand.)
You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
‘Good Night, David.
Good Night, Chet!’
My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn’t seem to get food poisoning.
My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter and I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in ice pack coolers, but I can’t remember gettinge.coli, or even know what it was.
Almost all of us would
have rather gone swimming in the lake or the river (where farmer’s cattle cooled off in hot weather too) instead of a pristine pool. Talk about boring; no beach closures then, and we didn’t ‘catch’ anything either!
The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.
We all took gym, not PE… and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked’s (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can’t recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now. Flunking gym was not an option, even for mentally challenged kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.
Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.
We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.
I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.
I just can’t recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.
Oh yeah… And where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!
We played ‘King of the Hill’ on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites (or snow banks left by the snow plow) , and if we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn’t sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked.
Now it’s a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49+ bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor or public service office for leaving a horribly vicious pile of ‘stuff’ where it was such a threat.
We didn’t act up at the neighbor’s house either; because if we did we got our butt spanked there and then we got our butt spanked again when we got home.
I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.
To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that? We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes.
We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn’t even notice that the entire country wasn’t taking Prozac!
How did we ever survive?
LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA; AND TO ALL WHO DIDN’T, SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED. I WOULDN’T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING!
Pass this to someone and remember that life’s most simple pleasures are very often the best.