Best Volcano Jokes and Puns
I nearly blew my top when I heard about the Icelandic Volcano, Eyjafjallajokull in 2010. The news exploded around the world and across the internet! I thought it was a huge Volcano and the news left me trembling and quaking in my shoes. There were a lot of people spewing false information, and many were just full of hot air. That funny dude on YouTube, who shouted, “I hate Iceland!”, was just blowing off steam. Most of the ash cloud talk was going over my head. I especially had trouble trying to pronounce Eyjafjallajokull. EyJ -Eyjaf -Eyjafjall Ã¢â‚¬â€œ oh forget it!
Now we have news that another volcano in Iceland, the Bardarbunga volcano, may erupt.
It’s not clear if this whole Icelandic Volcanic thing is a cover up (code name: ASHTRAY). Or, am I making a mountain out of a crater hole? The hole issue is so cloudy. Why are they keeping us in the dark about the Bardarbunga volcano? This situation could lead to some fiery and explosive debates! I just hope that one day they cough up the truth. It’s time for us to erupt in a cloud of jokes, let them flow freely. Let’s have a lava about it. After all, lavter is the best medicine!
My mother in-law recently returned from Europe. Seems that volcanic ash has little effect on the air travel of a broom.
What’s the difference between the volcano and Katie Price? Not much, they both just need to keep their tops on….
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Tooth Tattoos are becoming a fashion trend.
Tooth Tattoos are also known as TATTEETH
Why not get a tooth tattoo and put your money where your mouth is?
Tooth Tattoo Puns
I have my own flossify about teeth tattoos.
The tooth tattoo trend is spreading by word of mouth.
If you are a parent you may need to brace yourself because your teenager may get a tooth tattoo.
I went to a tooth tattoo artist who specialized in crowns.
If you are feeling down in the mouth you might want to consider getting a tooth tattoo.
It may have a positive impact on your mood. There may be some wisdom in that statement.
Body tattoos have become very common. So why not get a dental tattoo. It makes your smile quite distinctive.
If you love animals, you can get an impression of a pooch on your canine. It is a hassle-free procedure that may become very popular.
Tooth tattoo’s popularity owes itself partly to the fact that it is painless and can be removed anytime. Dental tattoos are just plain fun!
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When will the iWatch be available? We are on the iWatch watch!
Holograms, Dick Tracy Phones and the Future
Within the next ten years…. You heard it here first!
There will be a new Cell Phone/Computer, worn on the wrist that has a very advanced voice recognition system with the capability of projecting crystal clear three dimensional images (at least 10 feet by 10 feet). With Cloud Computing, it will have unlimited capabilities! It will be the the fastest selling product in the history of the World (until the next version comes out.)
Not sure if it will be called the iTracy or the iDick!
we’ll just have to settle for the
~ The iWatch
Can you imagine how many things this will make obsolete????
(TV’s, cable, keyboards, desktop and laptop computers, TV stands, iPads, writing – to name a few)
Wikipedia: On January 13, 1946  , Gould changed Dick Tracy forever with the introduction of the 2-Way Wrist Radio, having drawn inspiration from a visit to inventor Al Gross. This seminal communications device, worn as a wristwatch by Tracy and members of the police force, became one of the strip’s most immediately recognizable icons, and can be thought of as a precursor to later technological developments, such as cellular phones. Holography (from the Greek, hólos whole +graf? writing, drawing) is a technique that allows the light scattered from an object to be recorded and later reconstructed so that it appears as if the object is in the same position relative to the recording medium as it was when recorded. The image changes as the position and orientation of the viewing system changes in exactly the same way as if the object were still present, thus making the recorded image (hologram) appear three dimensional.
Star Wars – Now!
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Congratulations to Germany ~ World Cup Champions!!
Hangover cures at:
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World Cup 2014 Fail
So many bad actors and poor role models in this years World Cup
Neymar out Injured
James Rodriguez left in tears
Suarez banned Ronaldo and Rooney Flopped
Zlatan and Bale at home
Brazil is embarrassed by Germany
What could Brazil have done differently?
Then there is Messi
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Take the poll below:
Should FIFA allow Instant Replays?
Major blunders by referees have knocked countries out the 2014 World Cup
The entire world watched as the “human factor” cost a major European nation a chance in the round of 16 and sent them home. A penalty shot was awarded The only two people in the world who didn’t know were the referee and his assistant in that half of the field.
There have been more than one major blunder in this year’s World Cup.
Give a manager two challenges per game. Takes 2 minutes to review a call.
People look forward to the games every four years. It’s sad, that after all the effort and money to make it to the World Cup, a human error, which can be quickly and easily corrected, causes a team a chance to advance.
I must admit I enjoy watching instant replays of challenged calls in sports like tennis, baseball, hockey and football.
The Church Service Of The Future ……
The Church Service of the Future
Date: 17th June 2014 12.08:34 AEST Sent from my iPad
Begin forwarded message:
PASTOR: “Praise the Lord!”
PASTOR: “Will everyone please turn on their tablet, PC, iPad, smart phone, and Kindle Bibles to 1 Cor. 13:13.
And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon.”
“Now, Let us pray committing this week into God’s hands. Open your Apps, BBM, Twitter and Facebook, and chat with God”
“As we take our Sunday tithes and offerings, please have your credit and debit cards ready.”The ushers will circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers:
“You can log on to the church Wi-Fi using the password ‘Lord909887.’
a.. Those who prefer to make electronic fund transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church..”You can log on to the church Wi-Fi using the password ‘Lord909887.’
b.Those who prefer to use iPads can open them.
c.Those who prefer telephone banking, take out your cell phones to transfer your contributions to
the church account.”
The holy atmosphere of the Church becomes truly electrified as ALL the smart phones, iPads, PCs and laptops beep and flicker!
“Final Blessing and Closing Announcements..
a. This week’s ministry cell meetings will be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place. Please log in and don’t miss out.
b. . Thursday’s Bible study will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs GMT. Please don’t miss out.
c. You can follow your Pastor on Twitter this weekend for counseling and prayers
God bless you and have nice day
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The shortest video you’ve ever seen …
A woman goes back to work after thirty years.
This video is only 5 seconds long, but, you’ll get it.
If you’re younger than 40, you probably won’t understand it.
Happy Father’s Day ~ I love you, dad!
Happy Father’s Day June 15, 2014
Father’s Day is a celebration honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society. Many countries celebrate it on the third Sunday of June, though it is also celebrated widely on other days. Father’s Day was created to complement Mother’s Day, a celebration that honors mothers and motherhood.
Father’s Day was inaugurated in the United States in the early 20th century to complement Mother’s Day in celebrating fatherhood and male parenting.
After the success obtained by Anna Jarvis with the promotion of Mother’s Day in the US, some but the credit for the modern holiday is often given to Sonora Dodd, who was the driving force behind its establishment.
wanted to create similar holidays for other family members, and Father’s Day was the choice most likely to succeed. There were other persons in the US who independently thought of “Father’s Day”,
Father’s Day was founded in Spokane, Washington at the YMCA in 1910 by Sonora Smart Dodd, who was born in Arkansas. Its first celebration was in the Spokane YMCA on June 19, 1910. Her father, the Civil War veteran William Jackson Smart, was a single parent who raised his six children there. After hearing a sermon about Jarvis’ Mother’s Day in 1909, she told her pastor that fathers should have a similar holiday honoring them. Although she initially suggested June 5, her father’s birthday, the pastors did not have enough time to prepare their sermons, and the celebration was deferred to the third Sunday of June. wikipedia
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Happy Friday the 13th
The next Friday the 13th that occurs during a full moon in the month of June will be
on June 13th, 2098.
If you are a superstitious person, then Friday is a double whammy for you It’s Friday the 13th, a bad day and dreaded number in several cultures. And it also a full moon, which has special powers!!
An interesting post about Friday the 13th at:
According to folklorists, there is no written evidence for a “Friday the 13th” superstition before the 19th century. The earliest known documented reference in English occurs in Henry Sutherland Edwards’ 1869 biography of Gioachino Rossini, who died on a Friday 13th.
He [Rossini] was surrounded to the last by admiring friends; and if it be true that, like so many Italians, he regarded Fridays as an unlucky day and thirteen as an unlucky number, it is remarkable that one Friday 13th of November he died.
Several theories have been proposed about the origin of the Friday the 13th superstition. One theory states that it is a modern amalgamation of two older superstitions: that 13 is an unlucky number and that Friday is an unlucky day. Wikipedia