Archive for June, 2010

Best Soccer Football Player in the World David Villa

Spain has a quarter-final date with Paraguay by beating Portugal 1-0 in Cape Town. A 63rd-minute David Villa goal proving the difference between the two sides.

David Villa,  maybe the best player in the world???

In 2010 he moved to Barcelona for €40 million. Worth it now!

David Villa’s odds to be World Cup 2010 Top Goalscorer are listed at 3.0 while Gonzalo Higuain is priced at 3.5. Brazil’s Luis Fabiano is priced at 5.5 and then the odds take a big jump to 12.0 for Uruguay’s Luis Suarez. Germany’s Thomas Muller can be backed at 17.0 while Asamoah Gyan and Carlos Tevez can be backed at 21.0.

Germany’s Miroslav Klose and Uruguay’s Diego Forlan share a 23.0 price. Lionel Messi and Lukas Podolski are both at 34.0 and Robin Van Persie is sitting at 41.0. You’re looking at 81.0 for Fernando Torres or Robinho while Arjen Robbem, Dirk Kuyt, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar, Wesley Sneijder and Mesut Ozil are all priced at 101.0. Cacau trades at 151.0.

Higuain and Villa have scored four goals apiece while Robert Vittek of Slovakia also notched four goals. If both Higuain and Villa go scoreless in the next potential three games then a bet on Vittek would make sense I guess (he is listed at 21.0).

Inspirational 2010 World Cup Soccer Story and Joke England, France, Spain

Carrots, Eggs & Coffee

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee… You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ‘Tell me what you see.’

‘Carrots, eggs, and coffee,’ she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it.. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked,‘What does it mean, mother?’

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak, just like ENGLAND at the World Cup. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened and bitter, just like France and Italy at the World Cup. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water just like the remaining teams at the 2010 WORLD CUP.

‘Which are you?’ she asked her daughter. ‘When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you; to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life.

May we all be COFFEE!!!!!!!

Inspirational Email Forward, Carrots, Eggs and Coffee

Carrots, Eggs & Coffee

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee… You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ‘Tell me what you see.’

‘Carrots, eggs, and coffee,’ she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it.. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked,‘What does it mean, mother?’

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

‘Which are you?’ she asked her daughter. ‘When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you; to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life.

May we all be COFFEE!!!!!!!

More Jokes about England at the 2010 World Cup

You heard about the England bra?

All support, no cup.

What’s the differnce between a cup of coffee and England? Coffee stays in the cup longer.

Argentina are playing England in the world cup, and Messi says to the team, “listen you all seem tired, why don’t you have a night off, have a drink and I’ll play by myself.” So they agree and Messi goes to play England by himself.

At half time the Argentinian team check the score and they see ARG 1-0 ENG (Messi 37th min). They’re all impressed and get back to what theyre doing.

After the match finishes they check the score and see ARG 1-1 ENG (Lampard 85th min). They go to their dressing room and see Messi with his head in his hands. They tell him, “Come on, cheer up you got a draw all by yourself, that’s great.”Messi replies, “No you don’t understand, I got sent off in the 60th minute.”

John Terry reckons the players missed their friends and family”¦ remind me again what he does with his friend’s family?

John Terry is so traumatized he won’t be able to sleep with a teammate’s wife for WEEKS.

In a class, the teacher is asking everyone what jobs their parents have…

Teacher to kid: and what does your dad do?

Jimmy: he’s a stripper in a gay bar and often lets other men touch his privates

After class, teacher takes Jimmy to one side…

Teacher: is that true about your dad?

Jimmy: no, he plays football for england but I was too embarassed to say.

I can’t believe we only managed a draw against a poor team we should easily have beaten.

I’m ashamed to call myself Algerian.

Oxo are bringing ot a new cube to celebrate the World Cup. It’s a white backgroung with a red cross on it. They’re going to call it ……”The laughing stock”

That bird is fairly safe sitting on the goal post. Heskey’s playing.

Fifa have released a statement saying the fan didnt break in to the dressing room after all but was let in by Rob Green.

BBC Sports News:

“Watch: Highlights – England v Algeria. View Time 0:09″

Little Johnny Class Picture Joke

The children had all been photographed, and
the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and
say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a
doctor.’” And Little Johnny, at the back of the room, yelled out, “And there’s
the teacher; …she’s dead.”

Airline Pilot and Attendants – Announcements and Jokes

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture” and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…”

Pilot – “Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land … it’s a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern.”

And, after landing: “Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. WHOA!”

After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we’ll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.

World Cup FIFA and Instant Replay – What a Joke!

I may not know much. Just ask my wife, Maxine. But I do know that England scored 2 goals in that game today.

Another case for Instant Replay. What would it take, maybe 4 seconds to confirm it was a goal?

The Whole World knew it was in, except for the refs!!!!

Even the Vuvuzelas don’t bug me as much as this!

I think I’m going to get me one of these just to wake up the refs!!!

Rude Receptionist

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who
shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients.
As he approached the receptionist’s desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman
who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name. 

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said,
“YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE;
YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?”

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man..
He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied,

‘NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION,
BUT I DON’T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.’

Wonderful English from around the World

Funniest Football Soccer Dives EVER!