My Last Trip to Costco

Trip to Costco

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina

dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and

was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked

if I had a dog. What did she think I had; an elephant?

So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her

that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.

I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the

hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I

awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of

most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it

was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it

works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets

and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.

The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I

was going to try it again (I have to mention here that practically
everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.).

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because

the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I
stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setters ass and a car

hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a

heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won’t let me shop

there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people.

They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

last trip to costco