The Moments That Take Your Breath Away!
A young man learns what’s most important in life from the guy next door. It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him. Over the phone, his mother told him, “Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday.”
Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.
“Jack, did you hear me?”
“Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It’s been so long since I thought of him. I’m sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago,” Jack said. “Well, he didn’t forget you. Every time I saw him he’d ask how you were doing. He’d reminisce about the many days you spent over ‘his side of the fence’ as he put it,” Mom told him. “I loved that old house he lived in,” Jack said.
“You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man’s influence in your life,” she said. “He’s the one who taught me carpentry,” he said. “I wouldn’t be in this business if it weren’t for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important…Mom, I’ll be there for the funeral,” Jack said. As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser’s funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.
The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time. Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture….
Jack stopped suddenly. “What’s wrong, Jack?” his Mom asked. “The box is gone,” he said. “What box? ” Mom asked. “There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he’d ever tell me was ‘the thing I value most,’” Jack said. It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it. “Now I’ll never know what was so valuable to him,” Jack said. “I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom.”
It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. “Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days,” the note read.
Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention.
“Mr. Harold Belser” it read.
Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack’s hands shook as he read the note inside. “Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It’s the thing I valued most in my life.” A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved: “Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser.”
“The thing he valued most…was…my time.”
Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. “Why?” Janet, his assistant asked. “I need some time to spend with my son,” he said. “Oh, by the way, Janet… thanks for your time!”
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,”
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Categories: Beautiful Email Forwards, I've learned that..., Inspirational, Interesting Facts, Relationships, Wisdom Tags:
The Hillbillies, Curtis and Leroy and Congress Fail
The Adventures of Curtis and Leroy
How Governments Work!
The government owned a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.
Congress said, “Someone may steal from it.” So they created a night watchman position and hired three people to handle the job, D. Squat (a retired and famous pro football player) and Curtis and Leroy.
Then Congress said,”How do the watchmen do their jobs without instruction?” So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.
Then Congress said,”How will we know the night watchmen are doing the tasks correctly?” So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.
Then Congress said,”How are these people going to get paid?” So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people.
Then Congress said,”Who will be accountable for all of these people?” So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.
Then Congress said, “We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $64,000 over budget.” Many suggested that they just print more money, like they do for most other things. But some said it’s time we became fiscally responsible.
So they laid off the three night watchmen.
Later:
A few Government Officials became very upset and announced that Congress could layoff Curtis and Leroy but should never have a laid off the other watchman especially if they knew who he was!
It just goes to show you that most people in Congress don’t care about Curtis and Leroy and don’t know Diddly Squat!
Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, Adventures of the Hillbillies - Curtis and Leroy - Jokes, Dumb People, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Humor, I've learned that..., Interesting Facts, Jokes, Politics Tags: congress, diddly squat, fiscal cliff, government joke, government spenfdng, Humor
The Hillbillies, Curtis and Leroy and Their Carpentry Fail
The Adventures of Curtis and Leroy
Curtis and Leroy, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Curtis, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in.
Leroy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, ‘Why are you throwing those nails away?’
Curtis explained, ‘When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.’
Leroy got completely upset and yelled, ‘You moron! Those nails aren’t defective! They’re for the other side of the house!’
Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, Adventures of the Hillbillies - Curtis and Leroy - Jokes, Answers to WHY TEACHERS DRINK, Dumb People, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, FUNNY EMAILS, Humor, Jokes Tags:
The Decline of a Super Power – Chinese Takeout and Takeover!
Some random thoughts about the following article:
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MACLEANS Magazine Sept. 2010
http://www2.macleans.ca/2010/09/14/third-world-america/2/
Collapsing bridges, street lights turned off, cuts to basic services:
the decline of a superpower.
These cuts in infrastructure and education are more than just a temporary belt-tightening in response to a recession. They threaten long-term damage to American’s economic foundation—a foundation that has long been eroding.
IKEA treats America like a Third World Country:
http://www.e-forwards.com/2011/04/ikea-believes-america-is-a-third-world-nation/
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Just wondering if the people in the Gated Communities are worried about America becoming a Third World nation.
Or do they just build taller walls? I remember 40 years ago a teacher told us that many Americans don’t really care about what is happening outside their immediate neighbourhood and family – As long as there is Friday Night Football. I believe the book he quoted from was, Sports the Opiate of the People (or Masses, but I can’t find it anywhere.
I wonder when the average person becomes really upset about the growing division of the rich and the poor. Isn’t this a major cause for the downfall of many great Empires or the Reason for Revolts? Update: October 2011 ~
The “Occupy Wall Street” protests are scheduled to go on Friday as the grassroots movement continues to grow, spread to other cities and grab the attention of the president.
President Barack Obama said Thursday that the demonstrators are giving a voice to those frustrated with the financial system as protests popped up in more than a dozen American cities.
The percentage of Americans who owned their homes has seen its biggest decline since the Great Depression, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
Sports: The Opiate of the Masses
By Kyle | March 27, 2009
Marx was wrong: The opiate of the masses isn’t religion, but spectator sports. What else explains the astounding fact that millions of seemingly intelligent human beings feel that the athletic exertions of total strangers are somehow consequential for themselves? The real question we should be asking during the madness … is not who will win, but why anyone cares.
Arianna Huffington sees an even starker big picture emerging from the reams of bad economic news. “As we watch the middle class crumbling, for me this is a major indication that we are turning into a Third World country,” said Huffington, founder of the Huffington Post, in an interview. “The distinguishing characteristic of the Third World country is you have the people at the top and the rest—you don’t have a thriving middle class,” says Huffington, whose new book is entitled Third World America: How Our Politicians Are Abandoning the Middle Class and Betraying the American Dream.
By Edward J. Blakely and Mary Gail Snyder
Gated communities provoke impassioned reactions from supporters and critics alike. In their book, Fortress America: Gated Communities in the United States
What is the measure of nationhood when the divisions between neighborhoods require security patrols and fencing to keep out other citizens? When public services and even local government are privatized, when the community of responsibility stops at the gates, the function and the very idea of democracy is threatened. Gates and barricades that separate people from one another also reduce people’s potential to understand one another and commit to any common or collective purpose. In short, gates reduce the opportunity for social contact, and without social contact, this nation becomes less likely to fulfill its social contract.
When I saw this picture of Giant Ships used by WALMART to bring products to the US from China, I was amazed. However, when I learned that it returns across the ocean empty, I was shocked. Perhaps the best indication of what the future will be. Third World Nation???
For more photos and info, click the following:
http://www.e-forwards.com/2010/07/one-big-reason-why-economy-is-weak-in-2010-and-getting-weaker/
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Julie Andrews turns 75 on Oct. 1 – Great song about getting old
Wonder what she’ll do for her 75th? (Oct. 1)
The following is false, but it made for a good story:
To commemorate her 69th birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan ‘s Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was ‘My Favorite Things’ from the legendary movie ‘Sound Of Music’. Here are the lyrics she used:
(Sing It! - If you sing it, it’s especially hysterical!!!)
Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don’t feel so bad.
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin’,
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’,
And we won’t mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.
When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I’ve had,
And then I don’t feel so bad.
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Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores. Please share Ms. Andrews’ clever wit and humor with others who would appreciate it!
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Top Lessons Life Taught Me!
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio!!!
To celebrate growing older, she once wrote the lessons life taught her. It is the most-requested column she had ever written.
She turned 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4 Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
34. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
35. Your children get only one childhood.
36. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
37. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
38. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
39. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
40. The best is yet to come.
41. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
43. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”
Read more: http://www.e-forwards.com/2010/03/lessons-life-taught-me/#ixzz0ztdRs9Oj
Top Lessons Life Taught Me!
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio!!!“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written.”
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4 Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
34. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
35. Your children get only one childhood.
36. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
37. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
38. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
39. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
40. The best is yet to come.
41. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
43. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”
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Little Johnny’s Trivia Knowledge
It was the first day back to school after the Summer Holidays. Little Johnny’s teacher told the class that she was going to have a trivia contest. Students who correctly answered the questions would be allowed to leave a little early. This got Johnny’s attention.
His teacher asked the first question “Who said, I have a dream?”
Johnny knew this one and his hand was up before anyone else.
The teacher picked Sally and Sally answered Matin Luther King, Jr.
The teacher said, “Right, you may leave. Have a nice holiday.”
”Next question.”
“Who said, Ask not what your country can do for you, but…?”
Little Johnny was super excited because he knew this one, too. He waved his hand furiously so that his teacher would pick him.
But the teacher chose Andrea.
Andrea said, “That was John F Kennedy.” Of course she was right and she was allowed to leave early.
Little Johnny was getting quite upset. He knew the answers and his hand was up first.
“Next question.”
“Who said, That’s one small step for man, one giant…?”
Johnny couldn’t believe his luck because he knew this one, also.
His hand shot up like a rocket.
The teacher looked around and finally picked another little girl, Susan.
Susan said Neil Armstrong and the teacher told her she could leave and hoped she enjoyed the holidays.
By this time Little Johnny was fuming. He wanted to go home early. It wasn’t fair and he whispered, a little too loudly, “Christ, I wish those bitches would just shut up!”
The teacher yelled, “Who said that?”
Johnny immediately yelled back, “Tiger Woods, see you later!”
funny emails
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Top Ten Reasons Why Some Men Prefer Dogs
Some men prefer me!
Men prefer dogs because:
1. Dogs don’t tell you that you need to lose weight.
2. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
3. A dog’s parents never visit.
4. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
5. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.
6. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.
7. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.
8.The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
9. A dog’s time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
10. Anyone can get a good looking dog.
Bonus:
1. Dogs are not deceptive.
2. DOGS DON’T TALK & DOGS DON’T SHOP!
To test this theory:
Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour.
Then open it and find out who’s happy to see you.
I love you!
I hate you!
Who wouldn’t prefer me?
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Actually I prefer mini pigs!
Hard to resist ~ more info at:
Mini Pig or a Dog?
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You may also like these:
Why pumpkins are better than men!
How Dogs and Men are the Same
Sexual Attraction and the tilted head
or this
Please feel free to share!
Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, Beautiful Email Forwards, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Funny Sayings, Humor, I've learned that..., Interesting Facts, Jokes, Marriage, Wisdom, Women Tags: cute dog gif, dog rules, dog valentine, dogs, email forwards, Funny, Humor, Jokes, men, men prefer dogs, pumpkins, puppy gif cute, satire, women
Best Description of an Idiot!
A few clowns short of a circus…
* A few fries short of a Happy Meal…
* An experiment in artificial stupidity…
* A few beers short of a six pack…
* Dumber than a box of hair…
* A few peas short of a casserole….
* Doesn’t have all his Cornflakes in one box…
* The wheel’s spinning but the hamster’s dead…
* One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl…
* One taco short of a combo plate…
* A few feathers short of a whole duck…
* All foam, no beer…
* The cheese slid off his cracker…
* Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel…
* Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt…
* Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear…
* Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel…
* He fell out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on the way down…
* An intellect rivaled only by garden tools…
* As smart as bait…
* Chimney’s clogged…
* Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash…
* Doesn’t know much but, leads the league in nostril hair…
* Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor…
* Forgot to pay his brain bill…
* Her sewing machine’s out of thread…
* His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels…
* His belt doesn’t go through all the loops…
* If he had another brain, it would be lonely…
* Missing a few buttons on his remote control…
* No grain in the silo…
* Proof that evolution can go in reverse…
* Receiver is off the hook…
* Several nuts short of a full pouch…
* Sky light leaks a little…
* Slinky’s kinked…
* Too much yardage between the goal posts…
* Not the sharpest knife in the drawer…
* Half a bubble off plumb…
* A few sandwiches short of a picnic …
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The Hillbillies, Curtis and Leroy and four-by-twos
The Adventures of Curtis and Leroy
Curtis and Leroy drove their pickup truck into a lumberyard. Curtis walked in the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”
The clerk said, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?”
Curtis said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck and asked Leroy what they needed. He returned a minute later and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-fours.”
“Alright. How long do you need them?”
Curtis paused for a minute and said, “I’d better go check with Leroy.” After awhile, the Curtis returned to the office and said, “A long time. We’re gonna build a house.”
