Sushi Humor and Jokes
Hope the Sushi humor, sushi jokes and sushi pictures raw-k
I love these sushi puns and jokes roe much because they make miso happy!
The Punderful World of Sushi
Confucius say, “Man with one chopstick go hungry.”
In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait. ~José Simons
The following Sushi puns and jokes are so shellow and bad you’re going to roe-ll over in your grave. And you’ll be ig-nori-ing these delicious puns to run for cover from the ridiculousness. But seriously, these jokes raw-ked.
Wish I could be there to see your b-oyster-ous reaction!
Lawyers Love Sushi
Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers and attorneys? It’s called, Sosumi.
A guy walks into a chinese restaurant with his wife. The waiter approaches, the guy asks for “a table for two”. As they are waiting for a table to be prepared, his wife cant help to notice a fish tank full of beautiful tropical fish.The wife turns to her husband and says that she would like the same fish for her aquarium at home. The husband agrees that they are beautiful and asks the waiter what the fish are called.The waiter replies “sushi”.
At a Japanese sushi buffet, a mana contemplates eating his first oyster-on-the-half-shell. The brothers were excited cheering him on.
I don’t know if he’s going to do it…
He’s missing out though, so sad!
I guess we’ll just have to see if he shell eat it.
Jim Carrey sumo wrestler sketch. “Is that tempura in your belly or are you just happy sashimi?”
What did Sushi A say to Sushi B? “Wassap, b?” [Wasabi]
“Maki me one while you’re at it.”
“Let me see that sushi roll”
“Don’t you ig-nori me.”
“Rollin’ wit my sushiz.”
The Japanese are so impatient, They cant even wait for their fish to cook! Thus created sushi!
Why don’t whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It’s just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
Wake up little sushi (to the tune of Wake up Little Suzy, lol!)
‘Why don’t you come up and sashimi sometime?’
Have you laughed yourselves to the point of nori-turn.
All in all, these are uni-quely awesome puns.
Get yourself to a Sushi Restaurant prawn-to.
Make sure you eat the Chicken Kara Age.
Enough puns, you say?
Shoyu can’t take it anymore? Are you bento-ver in pain?
I am soy soy sorry!
My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair. “As an environmentalist,” she declared, “I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils.” The waiter inspected her chopsticks. “Very beautiful,” he said politely. “Ivory.”
How do you know if your Sushi is radioactive??
This LED-equipped sushi platter tells you if your dinner’s radioactive
The Fukushima Plate is tableware with its own built-in safety mechanism.
Underneath the plate is a radiation meter that logs whether your sushi has absorbed too much seaborne radiation from the Fukushima disaster earlier this year.
You set your own preferred levels of radioactivity, then glowing rings round the outside of the plate light up to warn you if your fish is toxic.
Sushi Restaurant Vocabulary
Agari – Slang for green tea (standard meaning = completed)
Daikon – Japanese radish served shredded as a garnish
Gari – Slang for ginger, eaten to cleanse palate
Gyoku – Slang for egg, or tamago (standard meaning = jewel)
Itamae-san – Sushi Chef
Kappa – Cucumber
Katamoi – Sea Urchin
Kusa – Slang for seaweed (standard meaning = grass)
Murasaki – Slang for soy sauce (standard meaning = purple)
Namida – Slang for wasabi (standard meaning = tears)
Odori-ebi – Live, or “dancing shrimp”, a delicacy
Ote-moto – Chopsticks
Sabi – Slang for wasabi
Sabi-nuki – Slang for “no wasabi” on the sushi
Shari – Vinegared rice used for sushi
Temaki – Hand roll, looks like an ice cream cone
Yunomi – Extra large tea cups
Useful Sushi Expressions
Omakase shimasu – Said to the chef meaning “Please choose for me”
Itadakimasu – Said before eating any meal
Kampai – Cheers!
Gochisoo sama deshita – Said at the end of any mean, meaning “It was a feast”
Oaiso kudasai – Please give me the check
Sushi Pencil Toppers
I am fishing for more sushi puns and one liners…
because I’m on a Dynamite roll.
Fish me luck!
If you have any please let me know.