HAPPY CANADA DAY
Canada is the greatest nation in this country.
Former Toronto mayor Allan Lamport
QUOTES FOR CANADA DAY
It is wonderful to feel the grandness of Canada in the raw, not because she is Canada but because she’s something sublime that you were born into, some great rugged power that you are a part of.
-Emily Carr
When I’m in Canada, I feel this is what the world should be like. ~ Jane Fonda
Geography has made us neighbors. History has made us friends. Economics has made us partners. And necessity has made us allies. Those whom nature hath so joined together, let no man put asunder. What unites us is far greater than what divides us. ~
John F. Kennedy, 1961
There are no limits to the majestic future which lies before the mighty expanse of Canada with its virile, aspiring, cultured, and generous-hearted people. ~
Winston Churchill
I guess Canada is a nice country. I’ve never thought much about it.- Anon. Cal-State student
The acquisition of Canada this year, as far as the neighborhood of Quebec, will be a mere matter of marching, and will give us experience for the attack of Halifax the next, and the final expulsion of England from the American continent.
-Thomas Jefferson
A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe.
Pierre Burton
On Obama’s first visit to Canada, this is what Jon Stewart had to say:
“Canada has world leaders sign their guest book?? Are you a country or a Bed and Breakfast?!” 
He also said:
“I don’t trust any country that looks around a continent and says, ‘Hey, I’ll take the frozen part.’”
Stephen Colbert said this on his March 30, 2009 show about Americans and narcissism:
“Thinking that other people might be better than you is what makes you Canadian, not American.”
And Canada’s own satirist, Rick Mercer from the Rick Mercer Report, said this:
“The US is our trading partner, our neighbour, our ally and our friend… and sometimes we’d like to give them such a smack!”
“God Bless America, but God help Canada to put up with them!”
-Anonymous
Cute Joke about being a Proud Canadian at:
We Are More, by Shane Koyczan ~ Vancouver Winter Olympics
When defining Canada, you might list some statistics. You might mention our tallest building or biggest lake. You might shake a tree in the fall, and call a red leaf Canada.
You might rattle off some celebrities might mention Buffy Sainte-Marie, might even mention the fact that we’ve got a few Barenaked Ladies, or that we made these crazy things like zippers, electric cars and washing machines.
When defining Canada, it seems the world’s anthem has been “been there done that,” and maybe that’s where we used to be at, it’s true. We’ve done and we’ve been, we’ve seen all the great themes get swallowed up by the machine and turned into theme parks.
But when defining Canada, don’t forget to mention that we have set sparks, we are not just fishing stories about the one that got away. We do more than sit around and say “eh?”.
And yes, we are the home of the Rocket and the Great One, who inspired little number nines and little number ninety-nines, but we’re more than just hockey and fishing lines off of the rocky coast of the Maritimes.
And some say what defines us is something as simple as please and thank you. And as for you’re welcome – well, we say that too.
But we are more than genteel or civilized. We are an idea in the process of being realized. We are young, we are cultures strung together, then woven into a tapestry. And the design is what makes us more than the sum total of our history.
We are an experiment going right for a change, with influences that range from a to zed. And yes – we say zed instead of zee.
We are the colours of Chinatown and the coffee of Little Italy. We dream so big that there are those who would call our ambition an industry, because we are more than sticky maple syrup and clean snow. We do more than grow wheat and brew beer. We are vineyards of good year after good year. We reforest what we clear, because we believe in generations beyond our own.
Knowing now that so many of us have grown past what used to be, we can stand here today filled with all the hope people have when they say things like “someday” – someday we’ll be great. Someday we’ll be this or that. Someday we’ll be at a point when someday was yesterday, and all of our aspirations will pave the way for those who on that day look towards tomorrow. And still they say someday we will reach the goals we set, and we will get interest on our inspiration.
Because we are more than a nation of whale watchers and lumberjacks, more than backpacks and hiking trails. We are hammers and nails building bridges towards those who are willing to walk across. We are the lost-and-found for all those who might find themselves at a loss. We are not the see-through gloss or glamour of those who clamour for the failings of others. We are fathers, brothers, sisters, and mothers, uncles and nephews, aunts and nieces, we are cousins, we are found missing puzzle pieces. We are families with room at the table for newcomers.
We are more than summers and winters, more than on and off seasons. We are the reasons people have for wanting to stay, because we are more than what we say or do. We live to get past what we go through and learn who we are.
We are students, students who study the studiousness of studying so we know what, as well as why we don’t have all the answers. But we try, and the effort is what makes us more. We don’t all know what it is in life we’re looking for – so keep exploring, go far and wide, or go inside. But go deep. Go deep, as if James Cameron was filming a sequel to The Abyss, and suddenly there was this location scout trying to figure some way out to get inside you because you’ve been through hell and high water, and you went deep.
Keep exploring, because we are more than a laundry list of things to do and places to see. We are more than hills to ski or countryside ponds to skate. We are the abandoned hesitation of all those who can’t wait. We are first-rate greasy-spoon diners and healthy-living cafes, a country that is all the ways you choose to live. A land that can give you variety, because we are choices.
We are millions upon millions of voices shouting “Keep exploring”.
We are more.
We are the surprise the world has in store for you, it’s true. Canada is the “what” in “what’s new?”
So don’t say “been there done that,” unless you’ve sat on the sidewalk while chalk artists draw still lifes on the concrete, of a kid in the street, beatboxing to Neil Young for fun. Don’t say you’ve been there done that unless you’ve been here doing it. Let this country be your first-aid kit for all the times you get sick of the same old same old. Let us be the story told to your friends, and when that story ends, leave chapters for the next time you’ll come back. Next time pack for all the things you didn’t pack for the first time, but don’t let your luggage define your travels. Each life unravels differently, and experiences are what make up the colours of our tapestry.
We are the true north strong and free. And what’s more is that we didn’t just say it. We made it be.
**
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GOOD NEWS FOR ALL WINE LOVERS!!!
Does Wine make you Fat ?
Wine does not make you FAT – it makes you LEAN…
Against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.
Thought you’d be glad to know.
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Michele Bachmann, John Wayne and Newsweek
The Queen of CRAZY!
*
Michele Bachman and government payments ~ ”She’s giving hypocrisy a bad name,” said Ron Pollock, executive director of Families USA, a consumer health care advocacy group, when asked about the Medicaid payments to Bachmann & Associates. “It’s clear when it feathers her nest she’s happy for Medicaid expenditures. But people that really need it — folks with disabilities and seniors — she’s turning their backs on them.”
“My husband and I did not get the money,” adding that it was “mental health training money that went to the employees.”
So… instead of us having to pay them, the government did?????? I guess she did not benefit in anyway!!!!!!
Keeps getting worse!
Michele Bachmann could learn a thing or two from John Wayne!
“Talk low, talk slow and don’t say too much.” ~ John Wayne
John Wayne (1907 – 1979)
US movie actor & director
John Wayne made this expression famous:
” Pilgrim” ~Reportedly he used the expression “Pilgrim”,
as in “tenderfoot” or “dude”
or “amateur”
John Wayne Quotes:
“Tomorrow hopes we have learned something from yesterday.”
“I stick to simple themes. Love. Hate. No nuances. I stay away from psychoanalyst’s couch scenes. Couches are good for one thing.”
“I don’t feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.”
Life is tough, but it’s tougher when you’re stupid.
Tomorrow hopes we have learned something from yesterday.
“We had a pretty good time together, when she wasn’t trying to kill me!” (1954, in an interview with Hedda Hopper regarding his marriage to Esperanza “Chata” Baur.)
Michele is Good at this!
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Postal Strike and the Dog
That should say, "Hello mailperson."
One day, a mailman was greeted by Little Johnny and a dog. The mailman said to Little Johnny, “Does your dog bite?”
“No,” replied Little Johnny. Just then, the dog bit the mailman.
“Hey,” he yelled. “I thought your dog doesn’t bite!”
“He doesn’t,” replied Little Johnny, “but that’s not my dog.”
The Postal Service is still one of the best deals around.
For 45 cents in the US and 60 cents in Canada,
they’ll carry your letter around for weeks and weeks.
I give ‘em this though. The rural letter-carriers are more considerate than their urban counterparts. All of the packages marked “Fragile” are thrown underhanded in the rural stations.
Cliff Clavin (John Ratzenberger) from the TV show, Cheers: [making a toast] As they say down at the post office, “Here’s looking up your address”.
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Christie Rampone ~ World Cup Soccer Superstar
Christie Rampone (36 years old) leads an incredibly strong United States national team at the Women’s World Cup. She is the only remaining player from the 1999 World Cup champs.
| 28 June |  |
USA | - | PRK |  |
| 02 July | |
USA | - | COL |  |
| 06 July |  |
SWE | - | USA | |
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Married Life
|
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The Golfing Priest
The golfer’s punishment
There was a preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday after a dreadful winter dawned a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right, that ideal, rare, incredible proto-spring day which pleads with us to come away and dally. The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick, arranged for the assistant to take his morning and evening services, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course. His guardian angel was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, “Look at this preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing.” God agreed. The preacher teed up on the first hole, a murderous PAR 4. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup, five hundred yards away (as they say in basketball, nothing but net). A picture perfecthole-in-one. The preacher was staggered, amazed, and terrifically excited. The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, “Begging Your pardon Lord, but I thought you were going to punish him.” The Lord smiled. “Think about it — whom can he tell?”
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True Love in the Twilight Years
An elderly gent was invited to an old friend’s home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over to his host, “I think it’s wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names.” The old man hung his head. “I have to tell you the truth,” he said, “Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago, and I’m scared to death to ask the cranky old bitch what it is.”
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Hunting Flies
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
“What are you doing?”
she asked.
“Hunting Flies,”
he responded.
“Oh! Killing any?”
she asked.
“Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied.
Intrigued, she asked,
“How can you tell them apart?”
He responded,
“3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone.”
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8th grade final exam ~ 1895
1895 8th grade final exam
Take this test and pass it on to your more literate friends..
What it took to get an 8th grade education in 1895…
Remember when grandparents and great-grandparents stated that they only had an 8th grade education? Well, check this out. Could any of us have passed the 8th grade in 1895?
This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 in Salina , Kansas , USA . It was taken from the original document on file at the Smokey Valley Genealogical Society
and Library in Salina , and reprinted by the Salina Journal.
8th Grade Final Exam: Salina , KS – 1895
Grammar (Time, one hour)
1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications.
3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of ‘lie’, ‘play,’ and ‘run.’
5. Define case; illustrate each case.
6 What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
7 – 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.
Arithmetic (Time,1 hour 15 minutes)
1 Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft Deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. Wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3,942 lbs., what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1,050 lbs. For tare?
4. District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000.. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find the cost of 6,720 lbs. of coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. long at $20 per metre?
8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt
U.S History (Time, 45 minutes)
1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided.
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton , Bell , Lincoln , Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.
Orthography (Time, one hour)
[Do we even know what this is??]
1. What is meant by the following: alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of each: trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals
4. Give four substitutes for caret ‘u.’ (HUH?)
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final ‘e.’ Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane , vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.
Geography (Time, one hour)
1 What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas ?
3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe the mountains of North America
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia , Odessa , Denver , Manitoba , Hecla , Yukon , St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S. Name all the republics of Europe and give the capital of each.
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.
Notice that the exam took FIVE HOURS to complete.
Gives the saying ‘he only had an 8th grade education’ a whole new
meaning, doesn’t it?!
No wonder they dropped out after 8th grade.
They already knew more than they needed to know!
No, I don’t have the answers! And I don’t think I ever did!
Have fun with this…pass it on so we’re not the only ones who feel
stupid!!!
