“Only had one beer, Occifer”

“Only had one beer, Occifer”

A Polish great-grandmother is facing three years in jail for riding her bicycle drunk.

Keystyna Patycka of Kopacz was stopped by police for weaving from one side of the road to the other on her way to local shops, theRomanian Times reports.

The 75-year-old was immediately banned from riding her bike by officers after ignoring a series of private cautions. She now faces drinking and driving charges which could land her in jail for three years if found guilty.

Patycka said all she had to drink was “one bottle of beer …”

Several times a day.

Keystyna Patycka of Kopacz was stopped by police for weaving from one side of the road to the other on her way to local shops, theRomanian Times reports.

The 75-year-old was immediately banned from riding her bike by officers after ignoring a series of private cautions. She now faces drinking and driving charges which could land her in jail for three years if found guilty.

Patycka said all she had to drink was “one bottle of beer …”

Several times a day.

A married couple are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks
up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. “What do you think you’re
doing?” asks the wife.

“They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,” he replies.

“Put them back! We can’t afford them,” orders the wife.

They carry on shopping.

A few aisles farther on the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts
it in the basket.
“What do you think you’re doing?” asks the husband.

“Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,” replies the wife.

Her husband retorts, “So does 24 cans of Budweiser, and it’s half the price.”

Marvin (Maxine’s husband) “I like that joke!”

As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials,
Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink
1 liter of water each day,
At the end of the year we would have absorbed
More than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) – bacteria
Found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop…

However,
We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer
(or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor)
Because alcohol has to go through a purification process
Of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health .
Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid,
Than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
I’m doing it as  a public service

What every Father should have!

• Beers from around the world

• Drink bands

• Bottle opener sandals and rings

• Beer of the Month club

• Monogrammed steins

funny email forwards, interesting, maxine cartoon men women

Workers at the Carlsberg brewery in Denmark are on strike after management handed down new rules about drinking on the job. Now, employees are allowed to drink beer only while at lunch:

The strike in Denmark followed the company’s April 1 decision to introduce new rules for employees on beer drinking at work, said Jens Bekke, spokesman at the world no.4 brewer.

“There has been free beer, water and soft drinks everywhere,” he said. “Yesterday, beers were removed from all refrigerators. The only place you can get a beer in future is in the canteen, at lunch.”

Bekke said drivers retained an old right to three beers per day outside lunch hours, and warehouse workers claimed the same right.

“Because of that, the warehouse staff went on strike yesterday, with other staff striking in sympathy,” he said.

I believe the strike ended by noon because the workers were thirsty!!!!!!!!

Drivers can have three beers per day outside lunch hours???????????????????

Maybe teachers should strike for free beer at lunch to help cope with the stress!

why teachers drink,  funny email forward

He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret.  He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires.  He will make sure she always feels as though she’s the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible.

No wait… sorry I’m thinking of wine!

“People were allowed to drink from 11 in the morning until 2 the following morning, and now they’ll be allowed to drink from 10 in the morning until 2 the following morning,” said Deputy Mayor Joe Pantalone.

Council voted overwhelmingly for the extra hour of drinking time, from June 11 to July 11.

“It’s appreciated by people who enjoy a good game with a glass of beer in the hot days of July and August,” Pantalone said. “It’s extremely significant to enjoying the beautiful game and giving an economic shot in the arm to small entrepreneurs, which is what restaurant and bar owners are.”

Maxine is ready!

Is this just for fans??