and that’s when the fight started…

Spelling Can Be Very Important

One spelling mistake can destroy your life!

A husband wrote a message to his wife while he was on a business trip and forgot to add ‘e’ in the end of a word…

“I’m having such a wonderful time! Wish u were her….!

and that’s when the fight started….

Ashton Kutcher, Demo Moore and Twitter Split

Demi: I can put up with your affair with Sara Leal.  But I’m taking off my wedding ring!

Ashton: Oh ya! I’m not following you on Twitter any more!

Demi: Not following me on Twitter… I want a divorce.

 and that’s when the fight started…  

And the world was all a Twitter!!!!

Leroy says Curtis Is Recovering Nicely

The Adventures of Curtis and Leroy

Curtis left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with Leroy and the boys and spending his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?” He replied, “That would be fine with me.” Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

Beautiful women can be bad for your health, according to scientists- Just Great!!!

Just five minutes alone with an attractive female raise the levels of cortisol, the body’s stress hormone, according to a study from the University of Valencia.

The effects are heightened in men who believe that the woman in question is “out of their league”.

***

 After I read this article to my wife, I was foolish enough to comment,

“I’ve never felt any stress!”

and that’s when the fight started…

Curtis and Leroy and Rules for the Newly Married

Typical macho Curtis and Leroy married typical good-looking twins and after the wedding, they laid down the following Rules: (which they had cleverly planned together)

“We’ll be home when we want, if we want and at what time we want and we don’t expect any hassle from you two.

We expect great dinners to be on the table unless we tell you that we won’t be home for dinner.

We’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when we want with our old buddies and don’t you give us a hard time about It.

Those are our rules. Any comments?”

Their new brides consulted with each other for a few minutes and then said, “No, that’s fine with us. Just understand that there will be sex in our homes at seven O’clock every night …

Whether you’re at home or not.”

funny emails, funny stuff, stupid people, dumb people

365 Times a Year! That’s No Bull

I took my wife to the State Fair and one of the exhibits is about breeding bulls. We came up to the first pen and there is a sign that says, “This Bull mated 50 times last year.”

My wife poked me in the ribs and said, “He mated 50 times last year.”

We walked a little further and saw another pen with a sign, “This Bull mated 120 times last year.”

My wife hit me and said, “That’s more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.”

We walked a little further to a third pen with a Bull and a sign, “This Bull mated 365 times last year.”

My wife got really excited and said, “That’s once a day.” You could REALLY learn something from this one.”

I turned to my wife and replied,

“Go up and ask him if it was with the same ol’ cow.”

I am a Bull!

and that’s when the fight started…

****

And then she said why don’t you see if this makes you more attractive:

sexual-attraction-and-the-tilted-head

For More, and that’s when the fight started,

click here: Fight Starters – Humor

funny emails, funny stuff

Bieber and Gomez Split!

Sexual Attraction and the Tilted Head

I’m not sure if this works, but I sure have a sore neck from trying!

My wife said, “It really doesn’t matter which way you tilt your head!”

and that’s when the fight started…

A tilt of the head can make both men and women look more attractive, according to a new study.

Australian researchers have found that women who tilt their faces forward are seen as more attractive, while men are considered better-looking when they tilt their heads backward.

The results may hark back to the differences in male and female height, the researchers report in the journal Evolutionary Psychology. Men are typically taller than women, so they’re used to seeing female faces from above – an effect mimicked by a forward head tilt. Women, on the other hand, usually look up at men’s faces, so the head-back tilt may appear more masculine.
“While the research provides important information about our evolution, the findings also offer some clues to help unravel the mysteries of mateship rituals in the 21st century,” study coauthor Danielle Sulikowski of Macquarie University and the University of Newcastle in Australia said in a statement. “The next step is to determine if people use this effect in real-world mate-attraction scenarios.”

Which way should I tilt?

Tilt back fail!

****

First Time Elevator – Curtis and Leroy

The Adventures of Curtis and Leroy

Curtis and Leroy and their wives were visiting a big city shopping

mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but

especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart

and back together again. Curtis asked Leroy, “What is this?”.

Leroy responded, “I have never seen anything like this in my life.

I don`t know what it is!”.

While they were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair

rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button.

The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a

small room. The walls closed and they watched small circles

of lights with numbers above the walls light up.

They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse

direction. The walls opened up again and a voluptuous

24 year old woman stepped out.

Curtis said to his wife, “You try it.”

and that’s when the fight started…

Leather Dresses

I asked my wife, “Did You Know This About Leather Dresses? When a woman wears a leather dress,

a man’s heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and

he begins to think irrationally.”

My wife asked, “Why?”

I said,”It’s because she smells like a new golf bag.”

and that’s when the fight started…