John on September 3rd, 2010

Leroy called Curtis and asked him if he would like to go deer hunting in the morning. Curtis said he would so Leroy told him he would pick him up at 5:00 am. The next morning when Curtis got in the truck he asked Leroy where they were going to hunt. Leroy told him he had a friend that had a huge farm up in Greene County with lots of deer and they could hunt there.
When they got to the farm, Leroy told Curtis to wait in the truck while he went in and told his friend they would be hunting there today. Leroys friend said it was OK, but he needed a favor. His old mule that he had for many years had come up blind and lame. He said he didn’t have the heart to shoot it so would Leroy stop at the field at the top of the hill and put it down. Just leave it where it falls and I’ll bring the backhoe up later and bury it.

Well, Leroy being the big joker that he is thought he would have some fun with Curtis. He got back in the truck just a cussin’ and acting mad as hell. Curtis asked what was wrong and Leroy said “That old bastard told me we couldn’t hunt here today. I’ve bought his seed and fertilizer, paid his vet bills and loaned him money for years and he does me this way.”

Leroy then drives to the top of the hill. He stopped the truck, grabbed his rifle and said there’s the son-of-a-b*tches mule, I’m going to shoot it and see how he likes that. As he was taking aim he heard two more shots. He looked around and Curtis was standing there with his rifle. He said “Hurry up Leroy, I just got two of the old bastards cows.”

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Continue reading about Curtis and Leroy Go Hunting

John on September 2nd, 2010

Can you see the Giraffe?

Just stare!

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A few seconds more!

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One of my favourites!

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Continue reading about Best Optical Illusion

John on September 2nd, 2010

Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. The neighbor was curious and wanted to know what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, so he politely asked,”What are you up to there, Little Johnny?” “My goldfish died,” replied Little Johnny tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big grave for a goldfish, isn’t it?” Little Johnny patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your stupid cat.”

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Some might say Poor CAT!

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Continue reading about Little Johnny and the Poor Goldfish!

John on August 30th, 2010

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Good Luck!

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Continue reading about I Can Explain

John on August 30th, 2010

OR

That’s what I call Back Bacon

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Hogging the Road

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Little Piggy went to market

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Continue reading about Road Hog

John on August 30th, 2010

Somewhere near Rochester , New York , Ed set out to bag his buck at 5:30 a.m.
By 11:30 a.m., he was exhausted and hungry–and still no buck.
At 12 noon, the mighty hunter Ed, guards the remains
of his lunch while a passer-by snaps a quiet photo
while trying not to startle the deer with a belly laugh.


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Continue reading about Hunting Fail

John on August 30th, 2010

Tough call!!

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Continue reading about My Wife Knows Everything!

John on August 24th, 2010

I saw these Road Apples the other day and it made me think of the term, If Life Hands You Lemons…

For some people, the term “road apples” may conjure up a pleasant image of apple trees growing by the side of a beautiful country road. The truth is, in fact, much uglier. This term is used in regional American slang to refer to horse manure. People started referring to horse dung as road apples around the mid 20th century.

When Life Hands You Lemons, or in this case Road Apples, you need to take advantage of the situation as best as possible.

Take for example a lesson in nature.

The seedlings pictured below started in what seems to be a very shitty environment.

However, it turns out that this was a blessing in disguise. Luckily for the seedlings, horses do not digest seeds. Besides being an incredible fertilizer, the horse manure also generates heat. This makes for an ideal environment for the seedlings to grow and flourish.

In life, we may be handed lemons from time to time, but we really never know in what direction our path will take.

More on ROAD APPLES:

The term references the fact that the manure of a healthy horse does look sort of like a small apple, in the sense that it is round. When horses were used as a major mode of transportation, they deposited their manure along the way, and one could be forgiven for mistaking a pile of horse poop for a pile of appleswhen glancing at it from a distance. At one time, horse droppings littered many roads around the world; in some countries today, horses are required to wear special bags to catch their droppings when they are out on the road, to prevent messes.

Horse manure is a great material for mulching and fertilizing, and it can also be used as fuel or as a source of building material. Horse manure has historically been mixed with mud and clay to make adobe, for example, since it is basically perfectly shredded straw.

When road apples were allowed to fall where they might, some people made a profession of collecting them for their various uses. Many cities promoted this, allowing people to profit while also clearing the roads to make them more pleasant for everyone. In areas where there was a surplus for manure or no immediate use for it, things could get rather disgusting. The streets of 19th century New York City, for example, were sometimes thick with horse manure, among numerous other unsavory substances, making travel a perilous proposition.

The term “road apples” has also been used to refer to actors on tour. In this sense, it is presumably a reference to the manure generated by the actor’s horsesas he or she travels on the road, although it could also be a disparaging comment about acting ability.

Continue reading about When Life Hands You Road Apples…