John on August 1st, 2010
A recent study found
the average Canadian walks
about 900 miles a year.
Another study found
Canadians drink,
on average,
22 gallons of beer a year.
That means,
on average,
Canadians get about 41 miles to the gallon.
Kind Of Makes You Proud To Be Canadian,
doesn’t it??!!

Canada -walking

Canada -1

A recent study found

the average Canadian walks

about 900 miles a year.


Another study found

Canadians drink,

on average,

22 gallons of beer a year.    That means,

on average,

Canadians get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Canada joke -2canada joke - 3

Kind Of Makes You Proud To Be Canadian,

doesn’t it??!!

Continue reading about Proud Canadian Joke

The G8 and G20 summits being held here next month will cost Canada a record $1.1 billion – the most expensive 72 hours in the country’s history.

With these summits become a magnet for anti-globalization protesters, Canada is spending as much as $933 million to provide security for the two summits which together will last three days.

Another $160 million will be spent on logistics and stay arrangements for the world leaders. Food alone for summit leaders will cost more than $1 million.

While the G8 summits will be held June 25-26 at the resort of Huntsville which is more than 200 kilometres from Toronto, the G20 summit will be held in the city June 26-27.

A number of groups, including Amnesty International, Greenpeace, World Vision, and the Canadian Labour Congress and others, are already gearing up to throw the G20 summit out of gear.

In the biggest security operations ever mounted in Canada, security and intelligence agencies are already questioning protest leaders.

Since it lies next door to the venue of the summit in the heart of Toronto, the University of Toronto – the biggest in the country – is shutting down, rescheduling exams and getting hostels vacated during the summit.

While critics have called the summits the most expensive 72 hours in Canadian history, the government says it is not going to compromise on security for world leaders.

Justifying the huge cost, Canadian Public Safety Minister Vic Toews said Wednesday that Canada has an obligation to safeguard world leaders during their stay in the country.

With pitched battles between security forces and protesters on the cards, Toronto hospital officials also said Wednesday that they are making arrangements to deal with emergencies and high volume of injured patients.

Continue reading about G20 Is It Worth It ? Toronto One Billion Dollars Seems Incredible

John on March 18th, 2010

Even if you aren’t a sports fan this is very interesting!


36 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have directly or indirectly   bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault


71 repeat 71

cannot get a credit card due to bad credit


14 have been arrested on drug-related charges


8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 currently are defendants in lawsuits,

and

84 have been arrested for drunk driving

in the last year

Can

you guess which organization this is?

NBA Or NFL

?


Give up yet?

Scroll down,

Neither,

it’s the MEMBERS OF THE HOUSE OF COMMONS IN OTTAWA

The same group of Idiots that crank out

hundreds of new laws each year

designed to keep the rest of us in line.

You gotta pass this one on!

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Continue reading about NFL OR NBA – GUESS WHO?


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For all those who wondered….I know my wife and I  did……

A fascinating story you may not have heard. . .


The (odd-looking?) bouquet of flowers presented to each medalist on the podium – 1,800 in all – are all the same, made up of green spider mums with hypericum berries surrounded by leather-leaf fern, monkey grass, and aspidistra leaves.


What’s really interesting? They’re all made by Just Beginning Flowers, a non-profit company in Surrey that employs women who are just out of prison, abused, fighting addiction, or with special needs, and teaches them how to be florists.

Really miss those great games!! What emotions and memories!

Continue reading about Subject: 2010 Winter Olympic Flowers –Fascinating

One of the best moments in Canadian Sport!!!

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Continue reading about Team Canada’s Winning Gold Medal Goal and Reaction 2010 Winter Olympics

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“We do a pretty good job of stealing players from other countries and I think their fans deserve a chance to see a tournament like this,” said Team USA head coach Ron Wilson.


“I think the best players in the world should have an opportunity to compete in the Olympics,” said Babcock. “This is a great showcase event and players are thrilled to be here. I’m a big fan of the ice surface being the same as well because think the game is so much better.”

crosby-celebrate-get_584

Continue reading about Of course, NHL players should play in Sochi in 2014!!!

John on January 29th, 2010
Just in Case You Get a Cheque….
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment i.e HST rebate.  This is a very exciting program from the Ontario government..
I’ll explain it using the Q and A format:
—————————————————————
Q.  What is  Ontario ‘s Economic Stimulus payment?
A.  It is money that the provincial government will send to taxpayers.

Q..  Where will the government get this money?
A.  From taxpayers..
Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money?
A.  Only a smidgen.
Q.  What is the purpose of this payment?
A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q.  But isn’t that stimulating the economy of Asia ?
A.  Shut up or you don’t get your check.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Canadian economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
1.  If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China .
2.  If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia .
3.  If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
4.  If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala ..
5.  If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
6.  If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
7.  If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.

Or, you can keep the money in Canada by:
1.   spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or
2.   going to baseball or football games, or
3.   hiring prostitutes, or
4.   buying cheap beer or
5.   getting tattoos.
These are the only wholly-owned businesses still operating in  Canada .

Conclusion:
The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you’re drunk enough to go get tattooed.

Continue reading about How to stimulate the economy.

John on January 5th, 2010

Now that Vancouver is hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking.

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted
on an International Tourism Website.

Obviously the answers are a
joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?( England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.


Q:
Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.


Q:
I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto – can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it’s only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.


Q: Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in Canada ?  Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )

A: No, but you’d better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe   Ca-na-da is that big country to your North…oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary  Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we’ll
send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it.  Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in   Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don’t stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.  Where can I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It’s a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It’s called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone
walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Continue reading about 2010 Winter Olympics Humour CA NA DUH

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Continue reading about It’s minus 21 with the windchill, today! Got a nice fire going in the woodstove.

John on December 20th, 2009




A  lot of folks can’t understand how we  came
to  have an oil shortage here in  Canada .

Well,  there’s a very simple answer,
Nobody bothered  to check the oil.

We just didn’t know we  were getting low.

The  reason for this is  purely geographical.


Our  Oil is located  in:

ALBERTA

SASKATCHEWAN

BRITISH COLUMBIA
MANITOBA
COASTAL  NEW  BRUNSWICK
COASTAL  NEWFOUNDLAND

Our DIPSTICKS are   located   in OTTAWA

Any  Questions ???
NO  ?….  Didn’t  think so.

Continue reading about Oil Crisis