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Collingwood-Elvis-Festival

Elvis was rocking at the Collingwood Elvis Festival this past weekend. Final numbers are not in but it certainly looked like one of the most successful Festivals yet!

Images of the Elvis Festival

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Continue reading about Collingwood Elvis Festival -2010 – The King of Rock and Roll

The Collingwood Elvis Festival has grown to become the Largest Elvis Festival In the World.

Who would have thunk it?

WELCOME HOME ELVIS
THE 2010 COLLINGWOOD ELVIS FESTIVAL has become the largest Elvis Festival in the World. Over 100 performers
Numerous venues
Large crowd
Midway and rides
Hundreds of Vendors
Great times for all
People Watching is a Highlight

WELCOME HOME ELVIS

Over 100 performers

Numerous venues

Large crowds

Fun for all Ages

Midway and rides

Hundreds of Vendors

Great times for all

People Watching is a Highlight

CROWNING OF THE KING
Saturday, July 24, 2010, 8pm – 11:30pm featuring our 2009 Champions Thane Dunn and Chris Ayotte, in addition to an impressive roster of other Collingwood Past Champions. An independent “one night only” head to head competition of our Professional Collingwood Champions to see who will reign the overall Collingwood Champion in our Early Years and Concert Years Divisions. This will be a must see event never offered before at the Collingwood Elvis Festival. Past Professional Champions are “invited” to participate but it is not “mandatory” involvement. Limited number of Professional competitor positions are available.

Competitors include Ray Guillemette, David Muggeridge, Thane Dunn, Chris Ayotte, Ben Klein, Shon Carroll, Matt King, Irv Cass, Jay Zanier. Additional competitors may be announced.

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Continue reading about Elvis is Rocking at the 2010 Collingwood Elvis Festival – Crowning the King

John on July 25th, 2010

The Collingwood Elvis Festival 2010 is taking place from Thursday, July 22nd – Sunday, July 25th!

Make your way over to Collingwood for a fun filled four days of Elvis!

With over 100 Elvis Impersonators, it should be quiet a show!

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Elvis Aaron Presley (January 8, 1935 – August 16, 1977) was one of the most popular American singers of the 20th century. A cultural icon, he is widely known by the single name Elvis. He is often referred to as the “King of Rock and Roll” or simply “the King”.

Elvis Presley
Publicity photo for Jailhouse Rock (1957)
Background information
Birth name Elvis Aaron Presley
Born January 8, 1935
Tupelo, Mississippi,
United States
Died August 16, 1977 (aged 42)
Memphis, Tennessee,
United States
Genres Rock and roll, pop, rockabilly, country, blues, gospel, R&B
Occupations Musician, actor
Instruments Vocals, guitar, piano
Years active 1954–1977
Labels Sun, RCA Victor
Associated acts The Blue Moon Boys, The Jordanaires
Website www.elvis.com
Notable instruments
Martin D-18, Gibson J-200

Elvis Presley
A young man dancing, swiveling his hips. He has dark hair, short and slicked up a bit. He wears an unbuttoned band-collared jacket over a shirt with bold black-and-white horizontal stripes. Behind him, on either side, are a pair of barred frames, like prison doors.

Publicity photo for Jailhouse Rock (1957)
Background information
Birth name Elvis Aaron Presley
Born January 8, 1935
Tupelo, Mississippi,
United States
Died August 16, 1977 (aged 42)
Memphis, Tennessee,
United States
Genres Rock and rollpoprockabilly,countrybluesgospelR&B
Occupations Musician, actor
Instruments Vocals, guitar, piano
Years active 1954–1977
Labels SunRCA Victor
Associated acts The Blue Moon Boys, The Jordanaires
Website www.elvis.com
Notable instruments
Martin D-18Gibson J-200


Continue reading about Elvis is Alive and Rocking in Collingwood

Avoiding excessive sun exposure can not only prevent serious heat-related illness such as sun stroke and heat exhaustion, it can also prevent sun damage and burns. Remember to:

- Schedule outdoor physical activities for when UV rays are at their weakest — before 10 a.m. and after 4 p.m.

- Generously apply a broad-spectrum sunscreen that protects against both UVA and UVB rays with a sun protection factor (SPF) of at least 30 to all exposed skin.

- Wear UVA/UVB protective sunglasses to prevent eye damage.

- Protect yourself even in cloudy or overcast weather as the sun’s rays can penetrate clouds.

- Drink plenty of fluids and avoid drinks that can lead to dehydration, such as alcohol and coffee

In order to avoid these burns:

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Kim Kardashian – Bad Tan

su -safety-postersun_safety-tips

From Wikipedia:

sunburn is a burn to living tissue, such as skin, which is produced by overexposure to ultraviolet (UV) radiation, commonly from the sun‘s rays. Usual mild symptoms in humans and animals include red or reddish skin that is hot to the touch, general fatigue, and mild dizziness. An excess of UV radiation can be life-threatening in extreme cases. Exposure of the skin to lesser amounts of UV radiation will often produce a suntan.

Excessive UV radiation is the leading cause of primarily non-malignant skin tumors.[1][2] Sunscreen is widely agreed to prevent sunburn, although some scientists argue that it may not effectively protect against malignant melanoma, which is either caused by a different part of the ultraviolet spectrum or is not caused by sun exposure at all.[3][4] Clothing, including hats, is considered the preferred skin protection method. Moderate sun tanning without burning can also prevent subsequent sunburn, as it increases the amount of melanin, a skin photoprotectant pigment that is the skin’s natural defense against overexposure. Importantly, both sunburn and the increase in melanin production are triggered by direct DNA damage. When the skin cells’ DNA is damaged by UV radiation, type I cell-death is triggered and the skin is replaced.[5] Malignant melanoma may occur as a result of indirect DNA damage if the damage is not properly repaired. Proper repair occurs in the majority of DNA damage, and as a result not every exposure to UV results in cancer. The only cure for sunburn is slow healing, although some skin creams can help with the symptoms.

Continue reading about Sun Safety Tips and Funny Sunburn Pictures of Tan Fails

John on July 19th, 2010

I thought this was great!

Continue reading about Jewel Goes Undercover At LA Karaoke Bar

Starting the week at 200 – 1 odds to win, Louis Ossthuizen takes the lead on day two and never looked back. What a great performance. Wish I could swing like him!!!

Nelson Mandela turns 92. Great birthday present. After celebrating a very successful, 2010 FIFA World Cup, South Africa must be partying again tonight! Take the Vuvuzelas out of storage!

Louis Oosthuizenh 139th Open Championship on the Old Course, St Andrews on July 17, 2010 in St Andrews, Scotland Open ChampLouis Oosthuizen-vuvuzela-British Open

The winner of this month’s British Open at St. Andrews will receive 850,000 pounds ($1.3 million) after officials increased prize money for the first time in three years.

The prize fund for golf’s oldest major championship will be 4.8 million pounds, the Royal and Ancient Golf Club said in a statement. It was 4.2 million the past three championships, with the winner receiving 750,000 pounds.

“The Open Championship sits at the forefront of world golf and it is appropriate that our prize fund reflects that position in the game,” R&A Chief Executive Peter Daw said. “Over the last 18 months we have had to take account of the pound’s weakened position against the U.S. dollar and euro and we have increased our prize money accordingly.”

Since mid-2007, the pound has declined about 25 percent against the dollar and 19 percent against the euro.

Louis Oosthuizen - 34 -of South Africa looks at some of the past winner's names on the Claret Jug after winning the 139th British Open on Sunday at St. Andrews

Louis Oosthuizen - 35 -is greeted by his wife, Nel-Mare, and 7-month-old daughter after winning the British Open on Sunday at the Old Course at St. Andrews

Continue reading about The Amazing Louis Oosthuizen of South Africa wins British Open- Another excuse to blow the Vuvuzelas!!!

John on July 18th, 2010

Interesting that Larry Hagman, the Oil Barren on Dallas, has gone green.

“People just don’t understand that when the end of affordable energy comes, it’s going to be chaos. What do we do to prevent that?”


To that end, Hagman took his nine-bedroom, 18 000 square foot,14 1/2 -bathroom Mediterranean-style estate off-grid in 2003, causing his annual electric bill to plummet.

In his personal life, Larry Hagman had followed through his own words. The 78-year-old actor and his wife Maj own the largest residential solar-power system in the United States. Since he first installed the solar power system in 2003, the annual electric bill for his mountaintop home and 46-acre farm plummeted from $37,000 to $13 overnight, according to a press release.

Larry hagman -solar house

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Continue reading about Larry Hagman goes Solar -Shine baby shine!

I think this a great song! The lyrics are outstanding!

Ooohh New York x2

Grew up in a town that is famous as the place of movie scenes
Noise was always loud, there are sirens all around and the streets are mean
If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere, that’s what they say
Seeing my face in lights or my name on marquees found down on Broadway

Even if it ain’t all it seems, I got a pocketful of dreams
Baby, I’m from New York
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of
There’s nothing you can’t do
Now you’re in New York
These streets will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Hear it for New York, New York, New York!

On the avenue, there ain’t never a curfew, ladies work so hard
Such a melting pot, on the corner selling rock, preachers pray to God
Hail a gypsy cab, takes me down from Harlem to the Brooklyn Bridge
Some will sleep tonight with a hunger far more than an empty fridge

I’m gonna make it by any means, I got a pocketful of dreams
Baby, I’m from New York
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of
There’s nothing you can’t do
Now you’re in New York
These street will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Hear it for New York, New York, New York!

One hand in the air for the big city,
Street lights, big dreams all looking pretty
No place in the world that can compare
Put your lighters in the air, everybody say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

In New York
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of
There’s nothing you can’t do

http://www.elyricsworld.com/empire_state_of_mind_(part_ii)_lyrics_alicia_keys.html

Now you’re in New York
These streets will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Now you’re in New York!

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of
There’s nothing you can’t do
Now you’re in New York
These street will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Hear it for New York!

From Wikipedia:

Alicia Augello Cook (born January 25, 1981), better known by her stage name Alicia Keys, is an American recording artist, musician and actress. She was raised by a single mother in the Hell’s Kitchen area of Manhattan in New York City. At age seven, Keys began to play classical music on the piano. She attended Professional Performing Arts School and graduated at 16 as valedictorian. She later attended Columbia University before dropping out to pursue her music career. Keys released her debut album with J Records, having had previous record deals first with Columbia and then Arista Records.

Keys’ debut album, Songs in A Minor, was a commercial success, selling over 12 million copies worldwide. She became the best-selling new artist and best-selling R&B artist of 2001. The album earned Keys five Grammy Awards in 2002, including Best New Artist and Song of the Year for “Fallin’“. Her second studio album, The Diary of Alicia Keys, was released in 2003 and was also another success worldwide, selling eight million copies. The album garnered her an additional four Grammy Awards in 2005. Later that year, she released her first live album, Unplugged, which debuted at number one in the United States. She became the first female to have an MTV Unplugged album to debut at number one and the highest since Nirvana in 1994.

Keys made guest appearances on several television series in the following years, beginning with Charmed. She made her film debut in Smokin’ Aces and went on to appear in The Nanny Diaries in 2007. Her third studio album, As I Am, was released in the same year and sold six million copies worldwide, earning Keys an additional three Grammy Awards. The following year, she appeared in The Secret Life of Bees, which earned her a nomination at the NAACP Image Awards. She released her fourth album, The Element of Freedom, in December 2009, which became Keys’ first chart-topping album in the United Kingdom. Throughout her career, Keys has wonnumerous awards and has sold over 30 million albums worldwide. Billboard magazine named her the top R&B artist of the 2000–2009 decade, establishing herself as one of the best-selling artists of her time.

Keys performing at Pavilhão Atlântico in Lisbon, Portugal on March 19, 2008

Alicia Keys
Keys performing at Pavilhão Atlântico in Lisbon, Portugal on March 19, 2008
Background information
Birth name Alicia Augello Cook
Also known as Lellow
Born January 25, 1981 (age 29)
Origin New York City, New York, United States
Genres R&B, soul, pop
Occupations Singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, composer, arranger, record producer, actress, music video director, author, poet
Instruments Vocals, piano, keyboards, cello, synthesizer, vocoder, guitar, bass guitar
Years active 1985–present
Labels Columbia, Arista, J
Website www.aliciakeys.com

Alicia Keys

Keys performing at Pavilhão Atlântico in Lisbon, Portugal on March 19, 2008
Background information
Birth name Alicia Augello Cook
Also known as Lellow
Born January 25, 1981 (age 29)
Origin New York CityNew York, United States
Genres R&Bsoulpop
Occupations Singer-songwritermulti-instrumentalistcomposer,arrangerrecord producer, actress, music video director, author, poet
Instruments Vocalspianokeyboards,cellosynthesizervocoder,guitarbass guitar
Years active 1985–present
Labels ColumbiaAristaJ
Website www.aliciakeys.com

Continue reading about New York – Alicia Keys – Empire State Of Mind (Part II) Lyrics – Bio

“Better than Messi: Schweinsteiger completes his masterpiece,” the paper published, adding that it was his “best game of the World Cup”.

German newspaper -Welt

Joachim Low has insisted that he will continue to wear his trademark blue sweater throughout the finals, and will not be washing it.

“The thing with the sweater is that I am not driven by superstition,” he said today. “The other coaching staff said I should be wearing the sweater now because every time I wear it we score four goals.

“I am not even allowed to wash it now and I think I will wear it again.”

About Suarez — who won’t play Tuesday owing to a red-card suspension — HAND BALL!!

Dutch goalkeeperMaarten Stekelenburg is Suarez’s teammate at Amsterdam’s Ajax FC. Stekelenburg sent his buddy a text message telling him he was the “best goalkeeper in the tournament.”


Dunga and Maradona : “A couple of idiots”…

Sneijder

“It feels like I have been punched by Muhammad Ali”

When Maradona was asked about his new beard. “I grew it because my dog almost ate my mouth and left me a big scar.” It later emerges he had startled his Chinese shar pei, Bela, by trying to kiss it, and had to undergo plastic surgery. “My daughters tell me I look good with a beard, so I’m keeping it.”

Later confirms his newfound body confidence by revealing a plan to streak through Buenos Aires if it all goes well in South Africa. “If we win the World Cup, I’ll get naked and run around the Obelisk.”

Argentina secure a group-topping finish with a 2-0 win over Greece. Diego’s happy, but not with the ball.

“I would ask all Fifa directors to stop talking about me and to start working on having a proper football. This ball is useless. It’s impossible to control.”

“I am as sad as anyone, but I want to thank the whole Argentina team. I want these boys to stay strong, to keep showing who they are. I want them to continue debunking the myths that millionaire footballers don’t care.”

He defended goalless Lionel Messi (“anyone saying he didn’t have a great World Cup is an idiot”) and said he would now talk to his family before deciding whether to carry on.

“I could walk away tomorrow, but I don’t know. I’m going to be 50 on 30 October, and this is the hardest thing I have had to go through since the day I retired from football. It was like a smack in the face from Muhammad Ali. I am drained of strength, but will I leave? I really don’t know. We will see what the future holds.”


Diego Maradona


“FIFA officiating does not meet North American standard as set in NHL, MLB, NFL.”

“Bush league Refs, with no instant reply.”


“Players who take dives should be thrown out of entire competition”

(Many) unknown authors


“I prefer a calm coach on the bench like Van Marwijk, rather than an idiot like Maradona or Dunga.”
Wesley Sneijder.


“There’s no reason to fear England.”
Lukas Podolski.


“What’s apartheid?”
Joan Capdevila


“I can’t say what my granny said about the referee when he sent me off but they were some harsh words”
Kaka’s


“I’m not in favour of technology in football or a chip in the ball. The best thing about football is the controversy. But as for that England goal [against Germany] … even my granny could see that it was in. And she wears super-thick glasses.”
Luis Fabiano

“God never sleeps, he knows who deserves success.”
Cristiano Ronaldo


“I like the Jabulani it’s very pretty.”
FIFA boss Sepp Blatter


“It’s going to take us 25 years to win again if we carry on like this.”
Fabio Cannavaro (Italy)


“Maradona is a nice guy but he can be a bit pesado [a pain, boring] . And I mean pesado in the nicest possible way.”
Vicente del Bosque


“Luis Suarez’s hand was the Hand of God … and the Virgin Mary.”
Uruguay coach Oscar Tabarez


“What I saw from the English in their 1-1 draw against the United States had very little to do with football. English have gone backwards into the bad old times of kick and rush.”

Franz Beckenbauer


“We beat Germany two years ago and they will not be happy to meet us again. But we also have to forget that match. If we finish without the World Cup, it will be as if we have not done anything.”

David Villa

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By Chris YoungSports Reporter

Life is unfair.

Soccer is life. Football is life. It must be so. The T-shirts insist, whichever nomenclature and whatever size you order.

Ergo, soccer/football is unfair.

Think about it. Luis Suarez was being toasted in Montevideo on Friday night, while he was being hoisted on the shoulders of his Uruguay teammates, while he was roasted with a side order of rueful regret across Africa. The Uruguayan’s blatant cheating, and Asamoah Gyan’s overexcited, overcooked penalty following, was the pivot point of this lesson.

Unfair? Of course it was.

On the topic of handballs.

Associated Press sports columnist John Leicester’s take was short and sweet:

Uruguay forward Luis Suarez escaped with a one-match suspension from FIFA on Saturday for deliberately using his hands to slap away what would have been a certain match-winning goal for Ghana.

That is so wrong. FIFA should have sent him packing from the World Cup, deterred cheats by making an example of this one.

“Foot” and “ball.” It couldn’t be any simpler. The most basic rule is no handling by anyone other than the goalkeeper, and Suarez slapped it in the face.

Atta Mills seems to think so when i interviewed him. “There is no reason why we cannot win the World Cup, we can do it if we believe we can.”

FromBill Bailey on Twitter: “Mournful chumps in grey M+S suits – is that how Team England will be remembered?”

What is Holland’s secret to such a successful 2010 World Cup? (so far) Well the answer is”¦.a bracelet!

Most Oranje starters have one. A bracelet with two round holograms. Balancing Bracelets, they’re called. And who ever wears them wins power, balance and agility. They restore the electromagnetic balance, according to the supplier.

“Wesley Sneijder introduced them to the lads,” says Rafael van der Vaart. “It’s actually a hype in Spain, where a lot of people use them. Does it work? I’m not sure, but it doesn’t hurt to wear them.”

Sneijder: “I thought it was nonsense, but in all honesty: they work. I feel much better with them, more in balance.”

Recently, Sneijder demonstrated how he can easily put his hand flat on the ground without bending his knees. “Without the bracelet I wouldn’t be able to.”

*******************************************************************

Some of the Best Soccer Quotes from the Past

Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I’m very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.

Bill Shankly

English soccer manager.

Football’s a difficult business and aren’t they prima donnas. But it’s a wonderful game.

Queen Elizabeth II

To Premier League Chairman David Richards, November 2006.

Every time I went away I was deceiving my mum. I’d tell her I was going to school but I’d be out on the street playing football. I always had a ball on my feet.

Ronaldo

Brazilian soccer player.

If a team wants to intimidate you physically and you let them, they’ve won.

Mia Hamm

American World Cup Soccer champion.

I’m here to score a lot of goals. It’s my speciality, that’s what I’ve been brought here to do, and I want to score plenty ; like I did with Barcelona. And here, there’s every reason to think I can do it.

Ronaldo

Brazilian soccer player.

The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. If it doesn’t move, kick it until it does.

Phil Woosnam

Welsh soccer player and manager.

To say that these men paid their shillings to watch twenty-two hirelings kick a ball is merely to say that a violin is wood and catgut, that Hamlet is so much paper and ink.

J. B. Priestley

The Good Companions.

In football everything is complicated by the presence of the opposite team.

Jean Paul Sartre

French philosopher.

Every single day I wake up and commit to myself to becoming a better player.

Mia Hamm

American female soccer player.

I fell in love with football as I would later fall in love with women: suddenly, uncritically, giving no thought to the pain it would bring.

Nick Hornby

Opening sentence from English writer’s book Fever Pitch.

The vision of a champion is someone bent over, drenched in sweat, to a point of exhaustion, when no one else is watching.

Anson Dorrance

American women’s soccer coach.

I loathed the game, and since I could see no pleasure or usefulness in it, it was very difficult for me to show courage at it. Football, it seemed to me, is not really played for the pleasure of kicking a ball about, but is a species of fighting.

George Orwell

English writer.

Every kid around the world who plays soccer wants to be Pele. I have a great responsibility to show them not just how to be like a soccer player, but how to be like a man.

Pele

Brazilian soccer player, considered possibly world’s greatest.

Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.

Roy Keane

Irish soccer player and English football club manager.

I’m sure sex wouldn’t be so rewarding as this World Cup. It’s not that sex isn’t good but the World Cup is every four years and sex is not.

Ronaldo

Brazilian soccer player, after winning 2002 World Cup.

Pele called me the greatest footballer in the world. That is the ultimate salute to my life.

George Best

Northern Ireland soccer player, from his autobiography, The Good, The Bad and the Bubbly.

The goal was scored a little bit by the hand of God, another bit by the head of Maradona.

Maradona

Argentinian soccer player, on goal against England in 1986 World Cup.

Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys.

Oscar Wilde

Irish writer.

I am a member of a team, and I rely on the team, I defer to it and sacrifice for it, because the team, not the individual, is the ultimate champion.

Mia Hamm

American female soccer player.

Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen; soccer is a gentlemen’s game played by beasts; football is a beastly game played by beasts.

Henry Blaha

The goalkeeper is the jewel in the crown and getting at him should be almost impossible. It’s the biggest sin in football to make him do any work.

George Graham

Scottish soccer player and manager.

Italians can’t win the game against you, but you can lose the game against the Italians.

Johan Cryuff

Dutch soccer player.

Some people tell me that we professional players are soccer slaves. Well, if this is slavery, give me a life sentence.

Bobby Charlton

English soccer player and 1966 World Cup winner.

Whoever invented football should be worshipped as a God.

Hugo Sanchez

Mexican soccer player and coach.

Five days shalt thou labour, as the Bible says. The seventh day is the Lord thy God’s. The sixth day is for football.

Anthony Burgess

English writer.

In Latin America the border between soccer and politics is vague. There is a long list of governments that have fallen or been overthrown after the defeat of the national team.

Luis Suarez

Mexican journalist, quoted in The Soccer War by Ryszard Kapuscinski (1969).

At a football club, there’s a holy trinity the players, the manager and the supporters. Directors don’t come into it. They are only there to sign the checks.

Bill Shankly

English soccer manager.

If you are first you are first. If you are second, you are nothing.

Bill Shankly

English soccer manager.

The person that said winning isn’t everything, never won anything.

Mia Hamm

American female soccer player.

Failure happens all the time. It happens every day in practice. What makes you better is how you react to it.

Mia Hamm

American female soccer player.

When I go to the press conference before the game, in my mind the game has already started.

Jose Mourinho

Portuguese soccer manager.

We lost because we didn’t win.

Ronaldo

Brazilian soccer player.

You can have the top stars to bring the attention, you can have the best stadium, you can have the best facilities, you can have the most beautiful project in terms of marketing and all this kind of thing. But if you don’t win… All the work these people are doing is forgotten.

Jose Mourinho

Portuguese soccer manager.

Well the answer is”¦.a bracelet!
Most Oranje starters have one. A bracelet with two round holograms. Balancing Bracelets, they’re called. And who ever wears them wins power, balance and agility. They restore the electromagnetic balance, according to the supplier.
“Wesley Sneijder introduced them to the lads,” says Rafael van der Vaart. “It’s actually a hype in Spain, where a lot of people use them. Does it work? I’m not sure, but it doesn’t hurt to wear them.”
Sneijder: “I thought it was nonsense, but in all honesty: they work. I feel much better with them, more in balance.”
Recently, Sneijder demonstrated how he can easily put his hand flat on the ground without bending his knees. “Without the bracelet I wouldn’t be able to.”

Continue reading about Best 2010 World Cup Quotes and Famous Soccer Quotes from the Past

John on July 3rd, 2010
If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you’ll begin to think you’re a genius.
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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama’s Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,”
–Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”
–Mariah Carey
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“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life,”
– Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign
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“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,”
–Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,”
–Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC . ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it,”
–A congressional candidate in Texas .
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“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”
–Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it..”
–Al Gore, Vice President
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“I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix “
– Dan Quayle
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“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”
–Lee Iacocca
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“The word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
–Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.”
– Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”
–Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
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“Traditionally, most of Australia ‘s imports come from overseas.”
–Keppel Enderbery
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“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.”
–Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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Feeling smarter yet?
Send it on to
Your brilliant friends.
I just did !!

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this

up and read it again; you’ll begin to think

you’re a genius.

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genius 1(On September 17, 1994, Alabama’s Heather Whitestone was selected

as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,

because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,

but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,”

–Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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genius 2

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over

the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that,

but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

–Mariah Carey

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genius 3

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part

of your life,”

– Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson

for federal anti-smoking campaign

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genius 4

“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,”

–Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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genius -5

“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime

rates in the country,”

–Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .


genius -fail 6

“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a

jackass, and I’m just the one to do it,”

–A congressional candidate in Texas .

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genius-fail-7

“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”

–Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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genius -fail-8

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities

in our air and water that are doing it..”

–Al Gore, Vice President

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genius-fail-9

“I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix “

– Dan Quayle

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geius-fail-9

“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air

do we need?”

–Lee Iacocca

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

genius-fail-11

“The word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a

guy like Norman Einstein.”

–Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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genius- fail 12

“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain

types of people.”

– Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

genius-fail-14-b
image013

“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because

we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you.

You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”

–Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

“Traditionally, most of Australia ‘s imports come from overseas.”

–Keppel Enderbery

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genius-fail-15

“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night

as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout

the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead,

there’ll be a record.”

–Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Feeling smarter yet?

Send it on to
Your brilliant friends.

I just did !!

genius-fail-16

One more: dumb Tiger Woods.

Woods AccidentTIGER WOODS-GENIUS-FAIL


Continue reading about Dumb People – Genius Fail