CHRISTMAS

Winter in Canada

WINTER  POEM

It’s winter in Canada

And the gentle breezes blow

Seventy miles an hour

At  thirty-five  below.

Oh, how I love Canada

When the snow’s up to your butt

You take a  breath of winter

And your nose gets frozen  shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful

So I guess I’ll hang around

I could  never leave Canada

Cuz I’m frozen to the ground!

Have a great day…

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98% OF CANADIANS SAY “OH  SHIT” BEFORE GOING IN THE DITCH ON A  SLIPPERY   ROAD.
THE OTHER 2% ARE FROM NEWFOUNDLAND AND THEY SAY, “HOLD MY BEER AND  WATCH THIS.”

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Please check out the following Winter In Canada Humor.

http://www.e-forwards.com/2011/01/winter-wonderland-fail-moving-to-florida/

Winter Wonderland Fail – Moving to Florida

AUG. 1 Moved to our new home in Ontario. It is so beautiful here. The city is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered with snow. I LOVE IT HERE

OCT. 14 Ontario is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I LOVE IT HERE.

NOV. 11 Deer season will open soon. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquillity. Hope it will snow soon. I LOVE IT HERE.

DEC. 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight today (I won). When the snowplow came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Mother Nature in perfect harmony. Took some great pictures of winter scenes. I LOVE IT HERE.

DEC. 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again (that rascal). A winter wonderland. I LOVE IT HERE.

DEC. 19 Snowed again last night. Couldn’t get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I’m exhausted from shoveling. Damn Snowplow!

DEC. 22 More of that white sh*t fell last night. I’ve got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I’m done shoveling. That *!&%!!!

DEC. 25 “White Christmas” my busted ss. More snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-(%)! who drives that snowplow, I swear I will strike the dumb bastard. Don’t know why they don’t use more salt on this freaking ice.

I hate this place!

DEC. 28 More of the same sht last night. Been inside since Christmas day except for when “Snowplow Harry” comes by. Can’t go anywhere. The car is buried in a mountain of white sht. The weatherman says expect another 10 inches of this sh*t tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?

JAN. 1 Happy freaking New Year!. The weatherman was wrong (AGAIN). We got (75 cm) 34 inches of snow this time. At this rate it won’t melt until the 4th of July. The snowplow got stuck down the road and sht for brains had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him I broke 6 shovels already, shoveling out the sht he plowed into my driveway. I broke the 7th shovel over his head.

JAN. 4 Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a deer ran out in front of the car and I hit the damn *#! deer. Did about $3,000.00 damage to the car. Wish the hunters would have killed them all last November.

MAY 3 Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you believe the body is rotting away from all the salt they keep dumping all over the roads. It really looks like a piece of sh*t.

MAY 10 Moving to Florida today. I can’t imagine why anyone in their right mind would want to live in this God forsaken place. The early settlers must have been crazy!

Going South

HAPPY BOXING DAY SANTA

Wikipedia:

Boxing Day is a bank or public holiday that occurs on December 26, or the first or second weekday after Christmas Day, depending on national or regional laws. It is observed in the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, and some other Commonwealth nations.

Boxing Day is: A day to buy what you really wanted on

Christmas day at huge discounted prices!

Boxing Day bargain shopping is now as important a part of the Christmas tradition celebrated by more than a billion people around the world as the main festivities themselves. 

Boxing Day is traditionally one of the

largest retail days of the year!

Boxing Day: That time of year when everyone gets Santamental.

This guy goes into a restaurant for a Boxing Day breakfast while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says, ”I’ll just have the eggs Benedict.” His order comes a while later and it’s served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, ”What’s with the hubcap?” The waiter sings, ”O, there’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!”

The Day After Christmas Poem

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,

Every creature was hurtin’ even the mouse.

The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;

Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.

Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while

Upstairs the family continued to snore.

And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,

I went into the kitchen and started to clean.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.

The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;

The patch on his jacket said “U.S. POSTMAN.”

With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox

Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.

Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.

Whistling and shouting he called them by name:

“Now Dillard’s, now Targets’, now Penny’s and Sears

Here’s Visa, and Master Card, and one for the Beer.

To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall,

Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!”

He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.

He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.

He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,

Driving much faster with just half a load.

Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,

“ENJOY WHAT YOU GOT……..YOU’LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!”

Christmas Diet Poem

Oh greed is the curse of many a maid

Munching mince pies, quaffing sweet lemonade

With never a thought about midriff bulge

She procedes without caution to over indulge

And then when the scale shows a figure quite shocking

She opens the diet book

That was stuffed in her stocking.

 Poet unknown

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love! 

~Hamilton Wright Mabie

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fire-side and his quiet home! 

- Charles Dickens, The Pickwick Papers, 1836

DECEMBER 24 ADVENT CALENDAR ~ YES, VIRGINIA, THERE IS A SANTA CLAUS

Last day for the CHRISTMAS ADVENT POSTERS.

There are 24 posters, one for each day leading up to Christmas. An Advent calendar is a special calendar which is used to count or celebrate the days of ADVENT in anticipation of CHRISTMAS. All posters are my creations ~ please feel free to copy and share.

Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus

By Francis P. Church, first published in The New York Sun in 1897. [See The People’s Almanac, pp. 1358–9.]

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:

Dear Editor—

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O’Hanlon

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

‘BUT I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of site,

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night’

*

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The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire) 

Chestnut’s roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yule tide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like eskimos
Everybody knows
A turkey and some misletoe
Can help to make the season bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that santa’s on his way
He’s loaded with toys and goodies on his sleigh
And every mothers child is going to spy
To see if reigndeer really know how to fly
And so I’m offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
All thought it’s been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you

They know that santa’s on his way
He’s loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh
And every mothers child is going to spy
To see if reigndeer really know how to fly
And so I’m offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
All though it’s been said many times many ways
Merry Christmas,
Merry Christmas,
Merry Christmas to you

 ”The Christmas Song” (commonly subtitled “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” or, as it was originally subtitled, “Merry Christmas to You“) is a classic Christmas song written in 1944 by musician, composer, and vocalist Mel Torméand Bob Wells.

Merry Christmas Greetings

Highlights of Norad’s and Google’s Track Santa 2010

Track Santa in Google Earth

Santa cams are ultra-cool, high-tech, high-speed digital cameras pre-positioned at many locations around the world only on December 24th. The cameras capture images and videos of Santa and his reindeer as they make their journey around the world.

Check out  http://www.noradsanta.org/en/index.html  on December 24th to track Santa online and find out where to spot him – perhaps over your favorite city.

Holiday Season Wishes For You and the BEST in 2012

DECEMBER 23 ~ INSPIRATIONAL ADVENT CALENDAR ~ IVY

 CHECK DAILY FOR AN INSPIRATIONAL CHRISTMAS ADVENT POSTER.

There are 24 posters, one for each day leading up to Christmas.

An Advent calendar is a special calendar which is used to count or celebrate the days of ADVENT in anticipation of CHRISTMAS.

Advent meaning ‘the coming’, is a month full of expectation,

anticipation and preparation for Yule / winter solstice and Christmas

Please feel free to copy and share.

Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

Holly, Ivy and other greenery such as Mistletoe were originally used in pre-Christian times to help celebrate the Winter Solstice Festival and ward off evil spirits and celebrate new growth.

The colours of the Holly and Ivy, green and red are traditionally associated with Christmas.

Celtic meaning of ivy deals with:

• Growth

• Renewal

• Connection

• Friendship

• Opportunity

Evergreens have been used to decorate homes since Pagan times, when they were believed to be a symbol of eternal life. Evergreens were considered magical due to their ability to retain signs of life during winter, and producing berries like holly.
Evergreen plants, like ivy and holly, were brought into the home during the Winter Solstice – a celebration of light and rebirth. Ivy was the symbol of Bacchus – god of wine and merriment.

Ivy also represents fidelity, wedded love and friendship. Also, a sprig of ivy of white tendrils means that one is anxious to please, and symbolizes affection.
The holly was traditionally thought to be masculine (prickly and tough) and the ivy feminine (clingy and heart-shaped), bringing balance and harmony, a yin and yang, to the home – also promising fertility to the household.

It is also a symbol of vibrancy as the druids admired its bright green hue. Often, sprigs of ivy would be woven into chain necklaces or head adornments to represent clarity of thought as well as celebrate the vitality of nature surrounding them.

The ivy gets its symbolism of connections and friendships because of its propensity to interweave in growth. Ever furrowing and intertwining, the ivy is an example of the twists and turns our friendships take – but also a testimony to the long-lasting connections and bonds we form with our friends that last over the years.

Another tribute to friendship as well as the test of time is the ivy’s ability to grow in challenging environments. The ivy is incredibly durable and can withstand harsh conditions. This is symbolic of our ability to stick by our friends no matter what.

The ivy is also a symbol of survival and determination for the same reasons. It seems to be virtually indestructible and will often return after it has suffered damage or has been severely cut back. This is an example of the human spirit and the strength we all have to carry on regardless of how harrowing our setbacks may have been.

Ivy grows in the shape of a spiral. This has long been considered a sacred symbol for:

• Consciousness

• Development

• Expansion

• Rebirth

Lasly, most ivy has five-pointed leaves which makes it a symbol of protection as it signifies the harmony of the elements unified by common bonding energy.

Quotes about IVY

False friendship, like the ivy, decays and ruins the walls it embraces; but true friendship gives new life and animation to the object it supports. ~ Richard Burton

When the ivy has found its tower, when the delicate creeper has found its strong wall, we know how the parasite plants grow and prosper. ~ Anthony Trollope

“Here’s to holly and ivy hanging up, And to something wet in every cup” ~ anonymous toast quote

“True Friends like ivy and the wall, both stand together, and together fall.”

The Christmas Holly

The holly! the holly!  oh, twine it with hay –
Come give the holly a song;
For it helps to drive the stern winter away,
With his garment so sombre and long.

It peeps through the trees with its berries of red,
And its leaves of burnished green,
When the flowers and fruits have long been dead,
And not even the daisy is seen.
Then sing to the holly; the Christmas holly,
That hangs over peasant and king;
While we laugh and carouse ‘neath its glittering boughs,
To the Christmas holly we’ll sing.

The gale may whistle, the frost may come
To fetter the gurgling rill;
The woods may be bare, and warblers dumb,
But holly is beautiful still.
In the revel and light of princely halls
The bright holly branch is found;
And its shadow falls on the lowliest walls,
While the brimming horn goes round.

The ivy lives long, but its home must be
Where graves and ruins are spread;
There’s beauty about the cypress tree,
But it flourishes near the dead;
The laurel the warrior’s brow may wreathe,
But it tells of tears and blood;
I sing the holly, and who can breathe
Aught of that that is not good?
Then sing to the holly, the Christmas holly,
That hangs over peasant and king;
While we laugh and carouse ‘neath its glittering boughs,
To the Christmas holly we’ll sing.

Eliza Cook ( 1818-1889 )

The Holly and the Ivy Lyrics

The holly and the ivy,
When they are both full grown
Of all the trees that are in the wood
The holly bears the crown
O the rising of the sun
And the running of the deer
The playing of the merry organ
Sweet singing of the choir

The Holly bears a blossom 

As white as lily flower

And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ
To be our sweet Saviour
O the rising of the sun
And the running of the deer
The playing of the merry organ
Sweet singing of the choir

The holly bears a berry
As red as any blood
And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ
To do poor sinners good
O the rising of the sun
And the running of the deer
The playing of the merry organ
Sweet singing of the choir

The holly bears a prickle
As sharp as any thorn;
And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ
On Christmas Day in the morn.
O the rising of the sun
And the running of the deer
The playing of the merry organ
Sweet singing of the choir

The holly bears a bark
As bitter as any gall;
And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ
For to redeem us all.
O the rising of the sun
And the running of the deer
The playing of the merry organ
Sweet singing of the choir

The holly and the ivy
Now both are full well grown,
Of all the trees that are in the wood,
The holly bears the crown.
O the rising of the sun
And the running of the deer
The playing of the merry organ
Sweet singing of the choir

Charles Dickens

Oh, a dainty plant is the Ivy green,
That creepeth o’er ruins old!
Of right choice food are his meals, I ween,
In his cell so lone and cold.
The wall must be crumbled, the stone decayed,
To pleasure his dainty whim:
And the mouldering dust that years have made
Is a merry meal for him.
Creeping where no life is seen,
A rare old plant is the Ivy green.

Fast he stealeth on, though he wears no wings,
And a staunch old heart has he.
How closely he twineth, how tight he clings
To his friend the huge Oak Tree!
And slyly he traileth along the ground,
And his leaves he gently waves,
As he joyously hugs and crawleth round
The rich mould of dead men’s graves.
Creeping where grim death hath been,
A rare old plant is the Ivy green.

Whole ages have fled and their works decayed,
And nations have scattered been;
But the stout old Ivy shall never fade,
From its hale and hearty green.
The brave old plant, in its lonely days,
Shall fatten upon the past:
For the stateliest building man can raise
Is the Ivy’s food at last.
Creeping on where time has been,
A rare old plant is the Ivy green.