Famous Quotes

April Fools and GOP Candidates

Newt Gingrich

He has decided that he needs a new campaign slogan.

“I didn’t do anything wrong and I won’t do it again”. (Borrowed from Nixon)

Mitt Romney 

“I bet my wife’s 2 Cadillacs that I win the GOP nomination!”

Rick Santorum

~ “I will not tell any more lies or not as many as I usually do.”

(“I really believe in evolution ~ trust me”)

The GOP has announced that the entire Primary Process has been a prank on the American People and that Donald Trump will be their ultimate choice for the Republican Presidential bid.

HOWEVER,

NANCY REAGAN,  MITCH DANIELS, 

JOHN BOEHNER, AND MITCH DANIELS

have all 

ENDORSED MICKEY MOUSE.

APRIL FOOLS

SERIOUSLY, THEY REALLY ARE FOOLS!

Easter Chocolate is Good For You

New Study reveals

that chocolate

and

exercise

is good for you

~

It can help you stay thinner!

 Should make for the best Easter ever!

Eat an Easter egg before each meal. 
It’ll take the edge off your appetite, and that way you’ll eat less.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

“There’s nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with CHOCOLATE.” Linda Grayson, “The Pickwick Papers”

Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because no one wants to quit.

THE 12-STEP CHOCOHOLICS PROGRAM: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE!

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.

Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter Sunday. 
Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs at Thanksgiving.

Chocolate Rabbit

I got a chocolate rabbit
For an Easter treat,
A great big chocolate rabbit
Good enough to eat.

So I ate his ears on Sunday,
His nose I finished Monday.
Tuesday I nibbled on his feet.
I ate his tail on Wednesday
Thursday I kept on,
By Friday he was going,
Saturday he was gone.

Oh, I loved my chocolate rabbit
From the moment that he came,
And if I get another one,
I’ll love him just the same.

We love you, Easter Bunny!

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

NEW RESEARCH SUGGESTS THAT IT IS BEST TO EAT CHOCOLATE IN THE MORNING. 

If it ain’t chocolate, it ain’t breakfast!

HAPPY EASTER

Everyone’s Irish on March 17th – St. Patrick’s Day

Sign on The Guinness Brewery in Dublin Ireland

Beware The Ides of March

March 15 is the day in 44 BC that the emperor Julius Caesar was assassinated after being warned by a soothsayer: “Cave Idus, Idus Martiis!”

Wikipedia: The Ides of March (Latin: Idus Martii) is the name of 15 March in the Roman calendar, probably referring to the day of the full moon. The term ides was used for the 15th day of the months of March, May, July, and October, and the 13th day of the other months.^[1] The Ides of March was a festive day dedicated to the god Mars and a military parade was usually held. In modern times, the term Ides of March is best known as the date that Julius Caesar was killed in 44 B.C. Julius Caesar was stabbed (23 times) to death in the Theatre of Pompey led by Marcus Junius Brutus,Gaius Cassius Longinus and 60 other conspirators.

Caesar: Who is it in the press that calls on me? I hear a tongue shriller than all the music that cry “Caesar!” Speak, Caesar is turn’d to hear.

Soothsayer: Beware the ides of March.

Caesar: What man is that?

Brutus: A soothsayer bids you beware the ides of March. (Shakespeeare’s Julius Caesar I,ii,15-19)

Timely message with the Middle East Revolutions happening right now!

It’s a day to celebrate the fall of dictators and a day for those in political arena to remember that your “friends” may yet be the cause of your downfall.

Who should Beware the Ides of March Today?

Vladimir Putin ~ Russian Dictator … I mean Prime Minister

*

***

*

Vladimir Putin, possibly the richest man on earth! With the incredible corruption in Russia, they just might  need another revolution!

Julius Caesar Jokes and Puns

Caesar sends Brutus to bring him 12 apples. Brutus returns with the
apples and Caesar counts them but finds only 10 apples. He turns to
Brutus and angrily says: “Et two, Brutus?”

**

Caesar had just become the emperor.

Mark Antony comes into the throne
room and shouts, “Hail! Hail! Hail! Oh mighty Caesar!”

Julius jumps upfrom his throne and angrily shouts,

“How dare you hail while I amreigning!”

**

It’s a little known fact that Julius Caesar

did NOT die from stabwounds by Brutus…

but rather he was poisoned.

At the huge banquet on that fateful Ides of March,

Brutus slipped somepoisonous hemlock leaves

onto Julius’s salad.

(This was the world’sfirst Caesar’s salad!)

When Julius slumped over into his salad,

Brutus feigned concern and
asked: “My dear friend Julius,

how many hemlock leaves have you eaten?”

To which Julius gasped in reply: . .. “Ate two, Brutus.”.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day Cute Quotes and Blessings

Anyone acquainted with Ireland knows

that the morning of St. Patrick’s Day

consists of the night of the seventeenth

of March flavored strongly with

the morning of the eighteenth.  ~Author Unknown

For each petal on the shamrock
This brings a wish your way -
Good health, good luck, and happiness
For today and every day.
~Author Unknown

May your blessings outnumber
The shamrocks that grow,
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go.
~Irish Blessing

Funny and Delightful Irish Quotes

Happy

• I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing I ever do with it.  It is never of any use to oneself – Oscar Wilde
• He who can does. He who cannot, teaches – George Bernard Shaw
• Alcohol is a very necessary article.  It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning – George Bernard Shaw
• Work is the curse of the drinking classes – Oscar Wilde
• [Dancing is] a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire – George Bernard Shaw
• A man travels the world in search of what he needs and returns home to find it – George Moore
• There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about – Oscar Wilde
• In Ireland the inevitable never happens and the unexpected constantly occurs – John Pentland Mahaffy
• 

Cute Easter Quotes and One Liners

Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket. ~Easter Bunny

I lied on my Weight Watchers list.  I put down that I had 3 eggs… but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.  ~Caroline Rhea

There’s nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with CHOCOLATE.” Linda Grayson, “The Pickwick Papers”

Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won’t stay there.  ~Clarence W. Hall

An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare. ~Easter Bunny

Those have a short Lent, who owe money to be paid at Easter.  ~Benjamin Franklin

There’s nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with Chocolate. ~Linda Grayson

Alzheimer’s Advantage: You can hide your own Easter eggs.

Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter Sunday. 
Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs at Thanksgiving.

VCU and Shaka Smart

March 2012

Shaka Smart may be the Number One choice for the Coaching position at The University of Illinois.

Illinois fired Bruce Weber on Friday.

Shaka has done an incredible job during the last two seasons. He deserves a shot in the Big Time in the Big Ten!

NCAA Basketball Upset

VCU earns a birth in the March Madness ~ NCAA Tournament

VCU Upsets Drexel ~ winners of 19 straight Games

Drexel had a chance to tie the game at the buzzer but VCU held on, 59-56, to win the CAA Championship.

Can VCU And Shaka Smart repeat the incredible March Madness Run of 2011?

Re-Cap of March Madness 2011

and

VCU’s Incredible Performance

VCU loses to Butler

“If you want to talk about quality of shots, we had, I would say, six or eight layups that we missed,” Smart said. “So I would say that wasn’t the difference. Butler has an experienced team. They know how to win. They’re not going to beat themselves. We knew that coming into the game. We just made a few too many mistakes.”

Good run, though!

Shaka Smart and the Giant Killers

VCU ~  “ No sacrificial Rams.”

Great Story in the NCAA March Madness

Lots of Fun to watch!

Shaka’s Got ‘Em Believing (VCU Final Four Song)

ESPN’s Dick Vitale said before the tournament “Look at Colorado’s résumé, look at UAB and look at VCU,  it’d be an M&Mer — a mismatch, man. It would be like a beauty contest — Roseanne Barr walking in versus Scarlett Johansson. No shot, none whatsoever.”

Virginia Commonwealth University

VCU is situated in the heart of Richmond, the capital of Virginia since 1779

Shaka Smart, the 33-year old who’s got Virginia Commonwealth in the Final Four, is suddenly the hottest coaching commodity in NCAA men’s basketball as the Rams prepare to take on Butler in Houston.

Shaka Smart Quotes

(Shaka Smart developed a love for quotations at Kenyon College. Smart began writing down quotes into a digital document that is now over 110 pages long.)

Smart, who quoted Major League after beating Kansas, said quotes are his biggest hobby.

He said his favorite quote is from his wife:

“Appreciation is the currency of success.”

“We have a point-nine-percent chance. It’s kind of like that movie Dumb and Dumber: ‘So, you’re saying we’ve got a chance?’ ”

We’ve played our best basketball when it matters most … That’s why I’m sitting up here with a net around my neck.

His wife also said (about Shaka wearing the basketball net after the game), “It’s like the lamp shade of basketball.”

Smart talked about some of the advantages he has being only 33. ”I have a lot of energy,” Smart said. “I have the ability to relate to our guys. It wasn’t too long ago I was in college.”

On style of play~ Smart described his “havoc” defensive philosophy during his introductory press conference as, “We are going to wreak havoc on our opponent’s psyche and their plan of attack.”

About his Name: “It’s about the best thing my dad ever did for me,” Smart said. “Because I was raised primarily by my mom. Shaka is an African name, named after a king in southern Africa who united hundreds of thousands of people. He was a warrior, he was a tough dude, and my dad chose to name me after him. You may have seen the movie ‘Shaka Zulu.’ That’s who I’m named after.”

Speaking a day after No. 11 seed VCU upset top-seeded Kansas in the Elite Eight, school athletics director Norwood Teague said he has every intention of keeping Smart in Richmond.

“We’re gonna’ keep him,” Teague said. “We just have to be proactive about it.”

Who is Shaka Smart

Smart earns a $325,000 base salary and he could earn in excess of $500,000 this season.

Smart may be a candidate for several vacancies at power conference schools, where some coaches earn in excess of $2 million.

“In a competition famous for its upsets, the Rams having made it to Houston may be the most unlikely occurrence in the history of the tournament,” says Nate Silver at The New York Times, who listed the Rams as an 820-1 underdog to make the Final Four going into tournament play.

The Rams beat five teams from five different “power” conferences — the Pac 10, Big East, Big 10, ACC, and Big 12 — a feat no underdog has managed in the history of the tournament.

“One of my sisters showed me something where it said Kansas now has a 44 percent chance of winning the national championship,” Smart, 33, announced Saturday, a day before Kansas had zero percent chance of winning a national championship. “We have a point-nine-percent chance. It’s kind of like that movie Dumb and Dumber: ‘So, you’re saying we’ve got a chance?’ ”

England Football Manager’s Job

What to do after Fabio Capello resigned as

England’s Manager?

From Wikipedia:

The England manager’s job is subject to intense press scrutiny, often including revelations about the incumbent’s private life.^[12][13] Due to the high level of expectation of both the public and media the role has been described as “the impossible job”.

Spurs boss Harry Redknapp is a front runner for the manger’s job. When asked if he thought the FA committee would consider him for the “impossible job”, he said, “Well, England has three options. They can pick me or they can pick someone else!”

**
I don’t know who’s going to get the England manager’s job, but I’d like to be the first to say that he’s useless and should resign.

**
So the new national football manager has to be English with a decent record. How are they going to find anyone that fits that description?

**
Fabio Capello has resigned as England manager. Reminds me of another Italian who left a sinking ship.

Possible candidate:

“I’ll hand out Vuvuzelas before every match and re-introduce oranges at half time.”

**
Justin Bieber rules himself out as the manager. Feels he would be a better basketball coach. He recommends Adele for the job.

**

The teacher asked the students what jobs their parents have. 

Teacher to student: “And what does your dad do?”

Little Johnny: “He’s a stripper in a gay bar.”

After class, the teacher took Little Johnny to one side.

Teacher: “Is that true about your dad?”

Little Johnny: “No, he’s the manger for England but I was too embarassed to say.”

**

The Manager should be someone who can handle the pressure and be able to come up with memorable quotes like the following:

‘If you don’t believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day’.  Neville Southall

“Soccer is a simple game its the players that make it complicated” -Willie Watson (Mancheser United)

“Winning doesn’t really matter as long as you win’.  Vinny Jones

‘My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7′.  David Beckham

As long as no-one scored, it was always going to be close.

WOMEN AND ANGER