Father’s Day Joke
Father’s Day Stories
Author Unknown
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut; then we’ll talk about it.”
A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, “Son, I’m really proud of you. You brought your grade up, studied the bible well, but you didn’t get your hair cut!”
The young man waited a moment an then replied, “You know dad, I’ve been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.”
His father replied gently, “Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went.”
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Father’s Day Stories
Barber of Coupe De Ville, The
by Author Unknown
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut; then we’ll talk about it.”
A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, “Son, I’m really proud of you. You brought your grade up, studied the bible well, but you didn’t get your hair cut!”
The young man waited a moment an then replied, “You know dad, I’ve been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.”
His father replied gently, “Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went.”
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More Gift Ideas for Father’s Day – My Favourites – Top Ten List
A massage
Lawn Cutting and Landscaping Services
Bottle of Wine or Scotch
New Wallet
Tickets to his Favourite Sporting Event
Green Fees at his Favoutie Golf Course
Car Accessories -First aid Kit, organizer
A set of Golf Clubs
New Grips for his Golf Clubs
Fishing gear
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Daddy Doesn’t Want to Play with Me!
Father’s Day Stories
Daddy Doesn’t Want to Play with Me!
by Author Uknown
Once there was a little boy who wanted his dad to teach him how to play catch. One sunny day the little boy’s father was sitting on the couch, drinking a beer, while watching a baseball game. The boy rushed into the house exclaiming
“Daddy, daddy, daddy, show me how to play catch!” The father, blankly starring at the television screen, replied ” In a little while son, let me finish watching this inning, come back in five minutes.”
“Okay daddy” said the boy and ran out of the room. Five minutes later the boy returned screaming “Daddy, let’s go, let’s play some catch now!”
The father turned to the boy and said hold on son the inning is not quite over come back in five more minutes. “Okay, daddy” said the boy as he shuffled out the room. Five minutes later the boy returned ball and glove in hand eagerly awaiting for his father to play some catch.
“Daddy, lets go, I want to be Ken Griffey Jr.!” shouted the boy.
By this time, the father had cracked open another cold one and another inning was taking place. Frustrated by the boy’s constant hindrances, the dad scanned the room. While scanning the room the father notice a magazine underneath the coffee table. On the cover of the magazine was a large picture of the world. The father, who was angered & annoyed, began tearing the magazine cover in to small pieces. After a few moments, of shredding up the magazine cover, the father placed the torn pieces on the magazine. Then, the father turned to his boy and said “Son, once you put this picture of the world back together we can play catch, but do not interrupt me again until you are done!”
Apprehensively, the boy took the magazine and sulked into his room. As he sobbed “Okay, daddy I won’t”.
A few moments later the boy returned and said, “I’m done daddy can we play catch now?”
Stunned, the father glanced towards his child, and there in his small hands laid the magazine with the world pieced perfectly together. Amazed, the dad asked his child how he put the world together so quickly.
“It was simple” stated the boy “On the back of the world was a picture of a person, and once I put the person together that’s when their world came together.”
Father’s Day Stories
Daddy Doesn’t Want to Play with Me!
by Author Uknown
Once there was a little boy who wanted his dad to teach him how to play catch. One sunny day the little boy’s father was sitting on the couch, drinking a beer, while watching a baseball game. The boy rushed into the house exclaiming
“Daddy, daddy, daddy, show me how to play catch!” The father, blankly starring at the television screen, replied, ” In a little while son, let me finish watching this inning, come back in five minutes.”
“Okay daddy,” said the boy and ran out of the room. Five minutes later the boy returned screaming, “Daddy, let’s go, let’s play some catch now!”
The father turned to the boy and said hold on son the inning is not quite over come back in five more minutes. “Okay, daddy”, said the boy as he shuffled out of the room. Five minutes later the boy returned ball and glove in hand eagerly awaiting for his father to play some catch.
“Daddy, lets go, I want to be Ken Griffey Jr.!” shouted the boy.
By this time, the father had cracked open another cold one and another inning was taking place. Frustrated by the boy’s constant hindrances, the dad scanned the room. While scanning the room the father notice a magazine underneath the coffee table. On the cover of the magazine was a large picture of the world. The father, who was angered & annoyed, began tearing the magazine cover in to small pieces. After a few moments, of shredding up the magazine cover, the father placed the torn pieces on the magazine. Then, the father turned to his boy and said, “Son, once you put this picture of the world back together we can play catch, but do not interrupt me again until you are done!”
Apprehensively, the boy took the magazine and sulked into his room. As he sobbed, “Okay, daddy I won’t”.
A few moments later the boy returned and said, “I’m done daddy can we play catch now?”
Stunned, the father glanced towards his child, and there in his small hands laid the magazine with the world pieced perfectly together. Amazed, the dad asked his child how he put the world together so quickly.
“It was simple”, stated the boy, “On the back of the world was a picture of a person, and once I put the person together that’s when their world came together.”
Don’t be a “Cat’s in the Cradle Dad!” LIfe is so short!
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Cute Father’s Day Jokes and Riddles
One evening a little girl and her parents were sitting around the table eating supper. The little girl said, “Daddy, you’re the boss, aren’t you?” Her Daddy smiled, pleased, and said yes. The little girl continued “That’s because Mummy put you in charge, right?”
What did the father ghost say to the naughty baby ghost?
Spook when you’re spooken to!
Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks?
In case they get a hole in one!
What do you call two people who embarrass you in front of your friends?
Mum and Dad!
How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
Three: a left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier!
My Dad thinks he wears the trousers in our house, but it’s always Mum who tells him which pair to put on!
Do fathers always snore?
No – only when they are asleep!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework please Dad – I’m stuck!
Dad will never say
Top Ten Things You’ll Never Hear a Dad Say
10. Well, how ’bout that?… I’m lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions.
9. You know Pumpkin, now that you’re thirteen, you’ll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won’t that be fun?
8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain “up yours” attitude … I like that.
7. Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car — GO CRAZY.
6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?
5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend … you might want to consider throwing a party.
4. Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies — you know — that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring — now quit your belly-aching, and let’s go to the mall.
2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
1. Father’s Day? aahh — don’t worry about that — it’s no big deal.
Father’s Day Riddles
1. If my name was mixed with my dad’s name it would be maroon. If I mixed with mom’s I’d be just a tiny bit lighter. If my mom mixed her name and my dad’s name, it would be my name. My dad’s name is blue. What is my name? What’s my mom’s name?
2.
How old is Dad riddle?
A father and son are chatting when the son poses this question: ” Dad, Im 22 now, but just how old are you?”
The father replies, “You wanna know how old your old man is,eh? Hmm, well, I tell you what. I’m as old as your age, plus half of my age.”
How old is the father?
Answers Below:
1. My name is Purple. Mom’s name is Red.
2. son’s age = 22
let dad’s age be x
so,
son’s age + half of dad’s age = dad’s age
22 + (1/2)x =x
22 + x/2 =x
44 + x = 2x
2x -x = 44
x=44
dad’s age is 44
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Best Father’s Day Gift for June 19, 2011
**
Pretty sure this one doesn’t cause cancer!
May 31, 2011:
Can you get cancer from using a cellphone? The World Health Organization’sInternational Agency for Research on Cancer classified cellphone use as “possibly carcinogenic” in a long-awaited report that sheds some light on the subject of the now-ubiquitous technology.
The amount of radiation received from cellphones depends in part on how close the device is to your head during calls.
Using cellphones is considered a possible cause of malignant brain cancer, an international panel of scientists says.
“The WHO/International Agency for Research on Cancer has classified radio frequency electromagnetic fields as possibly carcinogenic to humans, based on an increased risk for glioma, a malignant type of brain cancer, associated with wireless phone use,” the group said in a statement Tuesday from Lyon, France.
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Daddy’s Poem
*
Her hair was up in a pony tail,
Her favourite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy’s Day at school,
And she couldn’t wait to go.
But her mummy tried to tell her,
That she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
If she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid;
She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
Of why he wasn’t there today.
But still her mother worried,
For her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
She tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school
Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
A dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the wall in back,
For everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
Anxious in their seats
One by one the teacher called
A student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
As seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name,
Every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
A man who wasn’t there.
‘Where’s her daddy at?’
She heard a boy call out.
‘She probably doesn’t have one,’
Another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back,
She heard a daddy say,
‘Looks like another deadbeat dad,
Too busy to waste his day.’
The words did not offend her,
As she smiled up at her Mum.
And looked back at her teacher,
Who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
Came words incredibly unique.
‘My Daddy couldn’t be here,
Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
Since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
And how much he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories
He taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
And taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes,
And ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I’m not standing here alone.
‘Cause my daddy’s always with me,
Even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
He’ll forever be in my heart’
With that, her little hand reached up,
And lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
Beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads,
Her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
Who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love
Of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
Doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down,
Staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
But its message clear and loud.
‘I love my daddy very much,
he’s my shining star.
And if he could, he’d be here,
But heaven’s just too far.
You see he is a Canadian soldier
And died just this past year
When a roadside bomb hit his convoy
And taught Canadians to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it’s like he never went away.’
And then she closed her eyes,
And saw him there that day.
And to her mothers amazement,
She witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
All starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they saw before them,
Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
They saw him at her side.
‘I know you’re with me Daddy,’
To the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
Of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain it,
For each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
Was a fragrant long-stemmed rose.
Miracles
And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
By the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
That heaven is never too far.
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Father’s Day Gift Ideas for those Beer Loving Dads
Gifts For The Beer Lover
What every Father should have!
-
Beers from around the world
-
Drink bands
-
Bottle opener sandals and rings
-
Beer of the Month club
-
Monogrammed steins
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Popular Father’s Day Quotes
Here are some of the most popular quotes for Father’s Day
He is a wise father that knows his own child.”- William Shakespeare
“A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.” Unknown
“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” by Unknown
“A father carries pictures where his money used to be.” by Author Unknown
“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” by Charles Wadworth
“Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.” – by Bill Cosby
“My father always used to say that when you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life.” by Lee Iaccoca
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Father’s Day Quotes
The following are some quotes Fathers Day to honor our parents. Happy Father `s Day!
Any fool can be the father, but it takes a real man to be the father!
~Father Philip Whitmore
Fathers, be good to your daughters. You are a god and the weight of the world to them.
~John Mayor
“I think that my father gave me one of the greatest gift we can offer another person, me.
~Jim Valvano
It was a difficult life, but my difficulties are not against the difficulties that my parents went through to get the system in me to where I started.
-Bartrand Hubbard
He did not tell me how to live, lived, and let me watch him do so.
-Clarence Budington Kelland
One father is more than a hundred school principals.
George Herbert, like a strange, 1640
Parenting and pretending the present you love most is soap on a rope.
-Quote parents the day before: Bill Cosby
Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly no one owes you in religion or honor its gratitude for him in that predicament. But the child is owed no debt to his father if the father, after that I got in this Pic of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to work to show his son how best to crash through it.
Clarence Budington Kelland
The father of the child was to make him always young woman. When a woman has had a turn again.
~Enid Bagnold
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Father’s Day Gift Ideas
To help you celebrate Father’s Day in a royal manner we have put our mind and come up with some of the gift ideas. These ideas are not exclusive and exhaustive. They are just an aid. You can add your own imagination and innovation to them.
You can gift a nice photo frame with a family photograph or photograph of a special occasion with which your father has sweet memories attached.
If your father is a travel buff, you can gift a travel package to his favorite destination.
Some persons are voracious readers. If your father is one of them, then you can gift him a bestseller. You can also gift him a subscription of his favorite magazine.
In this era of rapid communication, you can gift your father a mobile phone, PC or a laptop.
Still camera/video camera is a very nice item to gift. Your father can capture some of the sweet moments.
For those fathers who are music lovers you can gift a walkman or music system along with some of their favorite albums.
If your father is a sportsperson/fitness enthusiast, you can gift him a sporting equipment-badminton racquet/tennis racquet/golf stick etc. and/or a pair of sport shoe/track suit etc.
Apart from this some of the gift items include: sunglasses, wallet, belt, shirt, T-shirt etc.
To help you celebrate Father’s Day, here are some of gift ideas. These ideas are not exclusive and exhaustive. They are just an aid. You can add your own imagination and innovation to them.
- You can gift a nice photo frame with a family photograph or photograph of a special occasion with which your father has sweet memories attached.
- If your father is a travel buff, you can gift a travel package to his favorite destination.
- Some persons are voracious readers. If your father is one of them, then you can gift him a bestseller. You can also gift him a subscription of his favorite magazine.
- In this era of rapid communication, you can gift your father a mobile phone, PC or a laptop.
- Still camera/video camera is a very nice item to gift. Your father can capture some of the sweet moments.
- For those fathers who are music lovers you can gift a walkman or music system along with some of their favorite albums.
- If your father is a sportsperson/fitness enthusiast, you can gift him a sporting equipment-badminton racquet/tennis racquet/golf stick etc. and/or a pair of sport shoe/track suit etc.
- Apart from this some of the gift items include: sunglasses, wallet, belt, shirt, T-shirt etc.
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