Great Pictures

Grandparents are Funny

Grandparents are funny!

“Grandparents are a delightful blend of laughter,

caring deeds, wonderful stories and love.” 

-Author Unknown

The idea that no one is perfect is a view

most commonly held by people with no grandchildren.

~Doug Larson

• Grandparents are a family’s greatest treasure, the founders of a loving legacy, The greatest storytellers, the keepers of traditions that linger on in cherished memory. Grandparents are the family’s strong foundation. Their very special love sets them apart. Through happiness and sorrow, through their special love and caring, grandparents keep a family close at heart. ~author unknown
• Surely, two of the most satisfying experiences in life must be those of being a grandchild or a grandparent. ~Donald A. Norberg

• • Grandparents bring about a side that you probably wish that’s how your parents dealt with you while you were a child. Abundance of indulgence and unwavering love. ~ author unknown

  • Even young grandparents seem enormously old to a small child, although the child may politely deny it. One small girl, feeling proud of reaching the monumental age of four, turned to her young-looking grandmother and asked, “How come I’m so old if you’re so new?” ~Alison Judson Ryerson
  • What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I’d like to say that grandparents are God’s gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate. ~Bill Cosby
  • Grandparents are similar to a piece of string – handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of their grandchildren. ~Author Unknown

Coconuts Are Amazing

I have done a great deal of research on the topic of COCONUTS

and have come to the conclusion that

Coconuts Are Amazing!

The two basic items necessary to sustain life are sunshine and coconut milk.

Dustin Hoffman 

The coconut palm (also, cocoanut), Cocos nucifera, is a member of the family Arecaceae (palm family). It is the only accepted species in the genusCocos.^[2] The term coconut can refer to the entire coconut palm, the seed, or the fruit, which, botanically, is a drupe, not a nut. The spellingcocoanut is an archaic form of the word.^[3] The term is derived from 16th century Portuguese and Spanish coco, meaning “head” or “skull”,^[4] from the three small holes on the coconut shell that resemble human facial features. ~ wikipedia

The Coconut Tree has been commonly referred to not only as the“Tree of Life”, but also as the “Jewel of the Tropics”; “the King of Trees”; “Tree of Abundance”; “Tree of Heaven” and the“Signature Tree of The Tropics”. In Sanskrit, coconuts are called“Kalpa Vriksha”, which means: “the tree that gives all that is necessary for living”.

Potential impact on human health of this amazing natural coconut elixir:

“The recent discovery of other medicinal values of coconut water signifies a good potential in improving human health. Better insights and understanding of the functions and properties of the individual components of coconut water will, therefore, help us to better utilize this marvelous and multidimensional liquid with special biological properties from nature.” Jean Yong

Best “Sports Drink”

Along with plain water, coconut water is one of the best and safest option to rehydrate yourself after a strenuous workout. If you need the electrolytes, it will provide them. If you don’t need them, then it certainly won’t hurt you. And as you’re learning, coconut water has a mountain of other health benefits in addition to rehydration, which no commercial sports drink in the world can provide.

Quotes about the Amazing Coconut:

“He who plants a coconut tree plants food and drink, vessels and clothing, a home for himself and a heritage for his children”

- South Seas saying

“One of these nuts is a meal for a man, both meat and drink”

- Marco Polo

My mother was very strong. Once, she picked up a coconut and smashed it against my father’s head. It taught me about women defending themselves and not collapsing in a heap.
Alice Walker 

I’m just taking care of myself: Eating less, exercising more, drinking a lot of coconut water.
Jennie Garth 

I drink a lot of coconut water. It balances out all the other toxic stuff I put into my body.

Rihanna 

WISHES FOR MY MOM ON MOTHER’S DAY

These are my WISHES FOR MY MOM ON MOTHER’S DAY

I LOVE YOU MOM.

THESE ARE MY WISHES FOR YOU ON MOTHER’S DAY

AND EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR!

The best medicine in the world is a mother’s kiss.
- Anonymous

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
- Mark Twain

My mom is a never-ending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. - UNKNOWN

You never appreciate all of the things your mother did for you until you find yourself doing the same things for your kids.

- Linda Poindexter

Do you believe in miracles? I do, because having you in my life certainly seems like a miracle every single day. I love you mom.  Unknown

Happy Mother’s Day 2013

Mother’s Day is annually held on the second Sunday of May.

It celebrates motherhood and it is a time to appreciate mothers and mother figures. Many people give gifts, cards, flowers, candy, a meal in a restaurant or other treats to their mother and mother figures, including grandmothers, great-grandmothers, stepmothers, and foster mothers.

Happy Mother’s Day 2013

Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.

- Unknown

Happy Mother’s Day Quotes, Messages, Sayings & Poems

Mother’s Day is a celebration honoring mothers and motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on various days in many parts of the world, most commonly in March, April or May.

Happy Mother’s Day 2013 Inspiration Quotes & Messages

It takes some one really brave to be a mother, someone strong to raise a child and someone special to love someone more than herself.

- Lilly

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.  ~Tenneva Jordan

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible.  ~Marion C. Garretty, quoted in A Little Spoonful of Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul
Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,
Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,
Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,
But only one mother the wide world over.
~George Cooper

Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love.  ~Mildred B. Vermont

Poems About Grandma

I love walking with Grandma!

GRANDMOTHER

Grandmother you are like a patchwork quilt
So cozy and warm.
Just the smell of coffee
Reminds me of your wisdom and charm.

I know I can always come to you
When lost or alone.
For you always comfort me
And make me feel at home.

You are the silver lining of a cloudy day.
And I know whom can trust
when clouds blow my way.
Grandmother, your hugs and kisses
Will be stored in my heart each day.

~Author Unknown~

GRANDMA

Ever since the day I was born.
You have nurtured me with love and kindness.
You have been someone I can believe in,
And someone I can depend upon.
In this world I am just staring to understand.
And it’s important to me that you know
How grateful that I am,
For all that you give to me,
For all that you teach me,
And for the strength I will always have,
Because of you, grandma.

~Author Unknown~

WHAT ARE GRANDMAS FOR?

Grandmas are for stories
about things of long ago.
Grandmas are for caring
about all the things you know…
Grandmas are for rocking you
and singing you to sleep,
Grandmas are for giving you
nice memories to keep…
Grandmas are for knowing
all the things you’re dreaming of…
But, most importantly of all,
grandmas are for love.

~Author Unknown~

Mother doesn’t want a Dog for Mother’s Day – very funny poem

Mother Doesn’t Want a Dog for Mother’s Day   by Judith Viorst

Mother doesn’t want a dog. 

Mother says they smell, 

And never sit when you say sit, 

Or even when you yell. 

And when you come home late at night 

And there is ice and snow,

You have to go back out because

the dumb dog has to go. 

Mother doesn’t want a dog. 

Mother says they shed, 

And always let the strangers in 

And bark at friends instead,

And do disgraceful things on rugs, 

And track mud on the floor, 

And flop upon your bed at night 

And snore their doggy snore. 

Mother doesn’t want a dog. 

She’s making a mistake. 

Because, more than a dog, 

I think She will not want this snake.

Spoiling My Grandkids

I am a new Grandparent.

Always thought I would be a wonderful Grandparent and enjoy spoiling my Grandkids.

I believe it’s our right to spoil our Grandkids.

Grandparents seem to have an innate desire to protect, love and spoil.

Spoiling Grandchildren is as natural as breathing.

It’s beyond our control!

But, how am I going to compete with this?

Grandparents Steve and Jeri Wakefield of Dallas

wanted to give their two grandsons the treehouse of their dreams.

And they did!

It’s one thing to be spoiled and another to be spoiled rotten! 

That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!

My attempt above.

Hope my grandkids never google ~ best tree forts!!!!

‘You don’t spoil your grandchildren do you? A:’Not this morning, I haven’t seen them yet.’

What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance.  They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life.  And, most importantly, cookies.  ~Rudolph Giuliani

I always give my grandkids a couple of quarters when they go home.  It’s a bargain.  ~Gene Perret

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.  ~Ogden Nash

Funny Signs

Let me know if you have any funny signs

that I could add to this collection!

Sign over a Gynecologists’ Office:

“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

**************************

In a Podiatrists’ office:

“Time wounds all heels.”

**************************

On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels

**************************

At an Optometrists’ Office:

“If you don’t see what you’re looking for,
you’ve come to the right place.”

**************************

On a Plumbers’ truck:

“We repair what your husband fixed.”

**************************

On another Plumbers’ truck:

“Don’t sleep with a drip.

Call your plumber.”

**************************

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :

“Invite us to your next blowout.”

**************************

At a Towing company:

“We don’t charge an arm and a leg.

We want tows.”

**************************

On an Electricians’ truck:

“Let us remove your shorts.”

**************************

In a Non-smoking Area:

“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

**************************

On a Maternity Room door:

“Push. Push. Push.”

**************************

At a Car Dealership:

“The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment!”

**************************

Outside a Muffler Shop:

“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

**************************

In a Veterinarians’ waiting room:

“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

**************************

At the Electric Company:

“We would be delighted if you send

in your payment.

However, if you don’t, you will be.”

**************************

In a Restaurant window:

“Don’t stand there and be hungry;
come on in and get fed up.”

**************************

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: (my favorite!)

“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

**************************

At a Propane Filling Station:

“Thank heaven for little grills.”

**************************

And don’t forget the sign at a

CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:

“Best place in town to take a leak.”

**************************

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

“Caution:

This Truck is full of Political Promises!”

*************

In Time For Mother’s Day

If you send this to just one person,

it should make it all the way around in time for

Mother’s Day.

Sunday, May 12  Mother’s Day 2013

This is for all the mothers who froze their buns off on metal bleachers at football games Friday night instead of watching from cars, so that when their kids asked, “Did you see me?” they could say, “Of course, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world,” and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, “It’s OK honey, Mommy’s here.”

This is for all the mothers of war torn countries who fled in the night and can’t find their children.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they’ll never see.

And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

For all the mothers of the victims of recent shootings, and the mothers of the murderers.

For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes.

And all the mothers who DON’T.

What makes a good Mother anyway?

Is it patience?

Compassion?

Broad hips?

The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?

Or is it heart?

Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?

The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?

The need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a school shooting, a fire, a car accident, a baby dying?

So this is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies.

And for all the mothers who wanted to but just couldn’t.

This is for reading “Goodnight, Moon” twice a night for a year. And then reading it again. “Just one more time.”

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair and stomp their feet like a tired 2-year old who wants ice cream before dinner.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

For all the mothers who bite their lips sometimes until they bleed – when their 14 year olds dye their hair green.

Who lock themselves in the bathroom when babies keep crying and won’t stop.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for all mothers whose heads turn automatically when a little voice calls “Mom?” in a crowd, even though they know their own off spring are at home.

This is for mothers who put pinwheels and teddy bears on their children’s graves.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can’t find the words to reach them.

This is for all the mothers who sent their sons to school with stomachaches, assuring them they’d be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.

This is for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation.

And mature mothers learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.

Single mothers and married mothers.

Mothers with money, mothers without.

This is for you all.

So hang in there.

Please pass along to all the moms in your life.

“Home is what catches you when you fall – and we all fall.”

More information for Mother’s Day at:
http://mothersdayfunontheweb.blogspot.com/

Tiger Woods and The Masters Illegal Drop Scandal

Tiger Woods was assessed a two stoke penalty at the Masters for an illegal drop!

Who called in to let the officials know that Tiger Woods took an illegal drop?

There are a number of conspiracy theories

but many believe that the call was from Sweden.

Apparently a beautiful Swedish viewer was the caller!

Elin Nordegren?????????

The Masters Rules committee says a 2 stroke penalty is enough!

The Golf Channel “experts” say he should disqualify himself.

What do think Tiger Woods should do after being told he made an illegal drop.

Some say:

1. He should be disqualified.

2. Tiger Woods’ Penalty Should Have Been Assessed On The Spot Or Not At All

2. A two stroke penalty is enough

4. Tiger should continue to play

5. Tiger Woods should disqualify himself

If  Tiger Woods disqualifies himself from the masters for the illegal drop, one thing is certain. TV ratings will go way down. Most of the “experts”, who are fuelling this scandal,  on the Golf Channel should realize that their jobs probably wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for Tiger!

Tiger Woods and The Masters Illegal Drop Scandal

 to be continued…