Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. The neighbor was curious and wanted to know what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, so he politely asked,”What are you up to there, Little Johnny?” “My goldfish died,” replied Little Johnny tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big grave for a goldfish, isn’t it?” Little Johnny patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your stupid cat.”
****
Some might say Poor CAT!
funny emails
funny emails
Little Johnny’s kindergarten teacher was trying to teach the children to “people talk”.
She asked Joey, ” What did you do on the weekend?”
Joey replied, ” I went to see Nana”. “No.” the teacher said,”You went to see your Grandma. That’s people talk. Bobby, What did you do on the weekend?”
Bobby replied, ” I went for a ride on the choochoo.” No, you went for a ride on the train.”
“Little Johnny, what did you do on the weekend?”
He replied, “I stayed home and read a book.”
“That’s nice, what was the name of the book?”
Little Johnny thought for a while and then said,
“Winnie the Sh…!”
funny emails
A teacher asked Little Johnny ,
“Can people predict the future with cards?”
His response was, “My mother can.”
The teacher replied, “Really?”
Little Johnny was quick to explain,
“Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home.”
Little Johnny’s ReportA teacher asked Little Johnny ,“Can people predict the future with cards?”His response was, “My mother can.”The teacher replied, “Really?”Little Johnny was quick to explain,“Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home.”
funny emails
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’ After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.. The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?’ ‘No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!’
funny emails
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. ‘Why do you do that, mommy?’ he asked. ‘To make myself beautiful,’ said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Little Johnny. ‘Giving up?’
Subtle Little JohnnyLittle Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. ‘Why do you do that, mommy?’ he asked. ‘To make myself beautiful,’ said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Little Johnny. ‘Giving up?’
funny emails
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, ‘Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?’ Little Johnny quickly replied, ‘NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!’
Little Johnny and Math
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, ‘Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?’ Little Johnny quickly replied, ‘NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!’
Continue reading about Little Johnny and More Math Questions
Little Johnny is walking down the street dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him.He came up to the doorstep of ‘a house of ill repute’ and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, ‘I want to have sex with one of the women inside.I have the money to buy it, and I’m not leaving until I get it. The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in.Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked.He asked, ‘Do any of the girls have any diseases?’ Of course the Madam said ‘No’. Little Johnny said, ‘I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber -THAT’S the girl I want.’ Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. The Madam stopped him and asked,‘Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease,instead of one of the others?’ He said, ‘Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home,my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter.After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys.She will then get the disease that I just caught.When Mum and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he’ll give her one in the car and he’ll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter’s, he and Mum will go to bed and have sex, and Mum will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mum and catch the disease, and HE’S the jerk who ran over my FROG!’
Continue reading about “Where there’s a will….there’s a way!”
On the way home from the christening of his baby brother in church, Little Johnny sat in the back seat, unusually quiet and sad.
His father noticed him crying and asked,
“What’s wrong, little Johnny?”
Between sniffles little Johnny replied, “That priest said he
wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want
to stay with you!!”
wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want
to stay with you!!”
funny emails, little johnny jokes
When he arrived home from school, Little Johnny’s mother asked him, “How did school go today?
“Fine”, Little Johnny replied. “We had a new teacher and she wanted to know if I had any brothers and I told her I was an only child”.
What did she say?” his mother asked.
“ She said, “Thank goodness”.
humor, cute, school, little-johnny, jokes, funny emails
The fourth grade teacher received a telephone call one morning. The husky voice on the phone said, “Will you excuse Little Johnny from school today?”
“Who is this”? the teacher asked. The voice answered. “ This is my father speaking”.
funny emails Little Johnny Jokes new
