John on March 11th, 2010

WARNING!

GRAPHIC BOATING  PHOTO.



THIS IS A PICTURE OF A MAN
WITH JUST SECONDS
LEFT TO  LIVE
(FRIGHTENING !)
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[death.JPG]

and that’s when the fight started…

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Continue reading about Seconds till Death!

John on March 11th, 2010

MAKE YOUR KITTY A HELMET LIKE THIS GUY DID WITH A LIME!

limecat-1

Check out this site for more When Life Hands You Lemons:

http://whenlifehandsulemons.blogspot.com/

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Continue reading about WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU LEMONS..

John on March 8th, 2010

aVhvR.jpg

Continue reading about Anatomy of an Urban Thug

John on March 4th, 2010

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES
Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and take either music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man musttake care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook,
do laundry,
and pay a list of ‘pretend’ bills
with not enough money.

In addition,each man
will have to budget enough money
for groceries each week.

Each man
must remember the birthdays

of all their friends and relatives,
and
send cards out on time–no emailing.

Each man must also take each child
to a doctor’s appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the
Emergency Room.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes
for a school function.

Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside, and keeping it
presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs,

wear makeup daily,

adorn themselves with jewelry,

wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,

keep fingernails polished,

and eyebrows groomed

During one of the six weeks,

the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
but never once complain or slow down
from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetingsand church,
and find time at least once to spend
the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each nightand in the morning,feed them,dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair
by 7:30 am.

A test will be givenat the end of the six weeks,and each father will be required to knowall of the following information:
each child’s
birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor’s name,
the child’s weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child’s favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if…
he still
has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment’s notice.

If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!

After you get done laughing,
send this to as many females as
you think will get a kick out of it and
as many men as you think can handle it.
Just don’t send it back to me….

I’m going to bed.

Continue reading about NEXT SURVIVOR

John on March 4th, 2010

After a few pints at the local pub I arrived home and said to my wife, “I never knew this. I am so glad my friends provided me information that can help me more properly use the English language.”

She said, “What are you talking about?”


I said, “There is a right way and a wrong way to pronounce Oklahoma!

The Proper Way is: ‘ Okla . . Homa’

There’s a pause between the ‘a’ and the ‘h’.”


She said, “No way!”

I said, “I can prove it!”

So I took her to the pub to meet my new friend.

.

.

.

.

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oklahoma

and that’s when the fight started…




Continue reading about Boob Proof

John on March 3rd, 2010

WORLD’S EASIEST QUIZ

(Passing requires 4 correct answers)


1) How long did the Hundred Years’ War last?


2) Which country makes Panama hats?


3) From which animal do we get cat gut?


4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?


5) What is a camel’s hair brush made of?


6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?


7) What was King George VI’s first name?


8) What colour is a purple finch?


9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?


10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial aeroplane?


Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass. Check your answers below.


ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ


1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats?
Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get catgut?
Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
November

5) What is a camel’s hair brush made of?
Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
Dogs

7) What was King George VI’s first name?
Albert

8) What colour is a purple finch?
Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
New Zealand

10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial aeroplane?
Orange (of course)

What do you mean, you failed?


Pass this on to some brilliant friends, so they may feel inadequate too.

Continue reading about When was the War of 1812?

John on March 3rd, 2010

My wife and I had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. We decided to try one last time for the son we always wanted.


My wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. I rushed to the nursery to see my new son. I was horrified at the ugliest child I had ever seen.


“There’s no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?”

My wife smiled sweetly and replied, “Not this time!”




and that’s when the fight started…

check out:

http://whenthefightstarted.blogspot.com/

for more “and that’s when the fight started jokes.”

Continue reading about Fooling Around

John on March 1st, 2010

funny_office_humor

Continue reading about Perks!

John on March 1st, 2010

kishore_bhk__The very good office Humor

Continue reading about If the truth be told! Office Humor

John on March 1st, 2010

office-humor3

Continue reading about Dear God!