Poems

Mother doesn’t want a Dog for Mother’s Day – very funny poem

Mother Doesn’t Want a Dog for Mother’s Day   by Judith Viorst

Mother doesn't want a dog for Mother's day

Mother doesn’t want a dog. 

Mother says they smell, 

And never sit when you say sit, 

Or even when you yell. 

And when you come home late at night 

And there is ice and snow,

You have to go back out because

the dumb dog has to go. 

Mother doesn’t want a dog. 

Mother says they shed, 

And always let the strangers in 

And bark at friends instead,

And do disgraceful things on rugs, 

And track mud on the floor, 

And flop upon your bed at night 

And snore their doggy snore. 

Mother doesn’t want a dog. 

She’s making a mistake. 

Because, more than a dog, 

I think She will not want this snake.

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Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - May 5, 2013 at 1:40 am

Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, 2. MOTHER'S DAY FUN, Beautiful Email Forwards, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Great Pictures, Humor, I've learned that..., Interesting Facts, Jokes, Kids/Children, Poems, Wisdom, Women   Tags: , , , ,

How Do You Know When You Are Old

Pondering Old Oge

funny poem for seniors email forward

How do I know that my youth is all spent?

Well, my get up and go has got up and went.

But in spite of it all I am able to grin

when I recall where my get up has been.

Old age is golden-so I’ve heard it said-

but sometimes I wonder when I get into bed,

with my ears in a drawer and my teeth in a cup,

my eyes on the table until I wake up.

Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself,

“Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?”

And I’m happy to say as I close my door,

my friends are the same, perhaps even more.

When I was young, my slippers were red,

I could pick up my heels right over my head.

When I grew older, my slippers were blue,

but still I could dance the whole night through.

But now I am old, my slippers are black,

I walk to the store and puff my way back.

The reason I know my youth is all spent,

my get up and go has got up and went.

But I really don’t mind when I think, with a grin,

of all the grand places my get up has been.

Since I have retired from life’s competition,

I accommodate myself with complete repetition.

I get up each morning, and dust off my wits,

pick up my paper and read the “obits”.

If my name is missing, I know I’m not dead,

so I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed.

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Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - February 20, 2013 at 1:24 pm

Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, 4. Old Age or Golden Years Jokes, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Funny Pictures, Humor, I've learned that..., Interesting Facts, Jokes, Poems, Sex and Old Age Humour, Wisdom   Tags: , , , ,

Cute Winter Poem

A Winter Poem by Jack E. Frost

 

winter cold-funny poem short

 

Shit!

It’s damn cold!


The End.

Cold outside-how to dress-funny

snowman gif-cute

 

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Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - January 24, 2013 at 4:11 pm

Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Great Pictures, Humor, I've learned that..., Interesting Facts, Jokes, Poems   Tags: , , ,

Winter In Ontario

 

 winter gif snowwinter gif snow
snowman gif-cute

 

 

winter-scene-cold

 

It’s winter in Ontario

And the gentle breezes  blow, 

 70 miles per hour at 52 below!  

Oh, how I love Ontario

When the snow’s up to your butt;  

You take a breath of winter air  

And your nose is frozen shut. 

 Yes, the weather here is  wonderful,  

You may think I’m a fool.  

I could never leave Ontario,

Cause I’m frozen to the  stool.

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Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - January 23, 2013 at 1:09 pm

Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Funny Pictures, Great Pictures, Humor, Poems   Tags: , , , , ,

Funny Democrats and Fiscal Cliff Haikus

Fiscal Cliff Haiku 

The Democrats sit / On the edge of the big cliff / damn! it’s just a hill.

fiscal cliff-penguins-gif

The democrats stall / at the edge of the steep cliff /  please, give them a push

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Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - January 3, 2013 at 8:11 am

Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, Dumb People, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Humor, I've learned that..., In the News, Inspirational, Interesting Facts, Jokes, Poems, Politics   Tags: , , , , , ,

GREAT SNOWMAN PICTURES AND POEMS

The Snowman

One day we built a snowman,
We built him out of snow;
You should have seen how fine he was,
All white from top to toe.

We poured some water over him,
To freeze his legs and ears;
And when we went indoors to bed,
We thought he’d last for years.

But, in the night a warmer kind
Of wind began to blow;
And Jack Frost cried and ran away,
And with him went the snow.

When we went out next morning
To bid our friend “Good Day”,
There wasn’t any snowman there…
He’d melted right away!

 

Little Snowman

(to the tune of “I’m a Little Teapot”)

I’m a little snowman round and fat,
Here are my mittens,
Here is my hat.
Add a little scarf and a carrot nose.
You stand so tall when the cold wind blows.

How to Talk to Your Snowman
Use words that are pleasing
like freezing
and snow.

Iceberg and igloo
and blizzard 
and blow.

Try Arctic, Antarctica
Say: shiver
and shake

but whatever you
never say,
Never say: bake.

A Chubby Snowman 

A chubby little snowman
Had a carrot for a nose.

Along came a bunny
And what do you suppose?

That funny little bunny
Was looking for his lunch.

So he ate the snowman’s nose,
Nibble, nibble crunch!

ONCE THERE WAS A SNOWMAN
author unknown

Once there was a snowman,
Who stood outside the door,
He wished that he could come inside,
And run about the floor.
He wished that he could warm himself,
Beside the fire, so red,
He wished that he could climb
Upon the big white bed.

So he called to the North Wind,
“Come and help me, pray,
For I’m completely frozen,
Standing here all day.”
So the North Wind came along,
And blew him in the door,
And now there nothing left,
But a puddle on the floor!

Building Mr. Snowman

Head ball,
Belly ball,
Bottom ball-
Done!
Building Mr. Snowman
is always 
lots of fun!

FIVE LITTLE SNOWMEN 
Five little snowmen On a winter’s day

The first one said, “Wake up, so we can play!”

The second one said, “Let’s stomp on the ground.”

The third one said, “Let’s roll around.”

The fourth one said, “Let’s run and run and run.”

The fifth one said, “I’m afraid I feel the sun.”

“Oh dear,” cried the snowmen, As they looked toward the sky.

And the five melting snowmen Waved a fond good-bye.

 SNOWBALL FIGHT 2012 -2013

GOTCHA!!!!

CLICK BELOW

http://www.e-forwards.com/2010/11/snowball-fight-2010-2011/

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Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - November 25, 2012 at 3:57 am

Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, Beautiful Email Forwards, CHRISTMAS, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, Funny Pictures, Great Pictures, Poems   Tags: , , , , ,

Thanksgiving Ode to Our National Birds

To our National Birds

 

The American Eagle

*

The Thanksgiving Turkey


 

May one give us peace in all our states

 

And the other a piece for all our plates

 


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Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - November 17, 2012 at 3:57 am

Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Funny Pictures, Humor, Jokes, Poems, Thanksgiving   Tags: , , , , ,

Halloween Poems for Children

COME OUT

COME OUT

THE WITCHES ARE OUT!

Halloween Poems for Kids-pumpkins

Helter-Skelter Play

by Joel Benton

Pixie, kobold, elf, and sprite,
All are on their rounds tonight;
In the wan moon’s silver ray,
Thrives their helter-skelter play.

Flutter, Flutter Little Bat by Leanne Guenther

Flutter, flutter little bat,
How I wonder where you’re at.

Swooping through the darkest night -
You find your way without a light.

Flutter, flutter little bat,
How I wonder where you’re at!

Halloween Poems for Kids

A Magic Chant by Samuel Exler (1992 – 2008)

If in the dark you’re frightened,
Here’s all you have to do.

Say: Igga bigga,

Hunka bunka,

Dinka danka doo.

These words give you protection

From ghosts-and witches, too.

Say: Igga bigga,

Hunka bunka,

Dinka danka doo.

So if at night a monster

Should whisper, I’ll get you,”

Yell: Igga bigga,

Hunka bunka,

Dinka danka doo.

Fraidie Cat

by Clinton Scollard

I shan’t tell you what’s his name:
When we want to play a game,
Always thinks that he’ll be hurt,
Soil his jacket in the dirt,
Tear his trousers, spoil his hat,–
Fraidie-Cat! Fraidie-Cat!

Nothing of the boy in him!
“Dasn’t” try to learn to swim;
Says a cow’ll hook; if she
Looks at him he’ll climb a tree;
“Scart” to death at bee or bat,–
Fraidie-Cat! Fraidie-Cat!

Claims there’re ghosts all snowy white
Wandering around at night
In the attic; wouldn’t go
There for anything, I know;
B’lieve he’d run if you said “Scat!”
Fraidie-Cat! Fraidie-Cat!

Only Naughty Children See Spooks on Halloween by Winifred Sackvile Stoner, Jr.

Witches and goblins, spooks and elves,
With sprites and gnomes from elf-land delves,
Tonight are flying here and there,
Yes, up and down and everywhere.
For this one night in all the year
They rule the earth and bring great fear
To all the naughty little boys
Who tease good girls and break their toys.

These spooks they also make girls sad
When they are selfish, cross and bad;
So when it’s dark, bad boys and maids,
They see these awful fearsome shades,
And that is why with covered heads,
They trembling lie in their warm beds.

But even there they goblins see,
Spooks and gnomes, and all that be
Abroad upon weird Halloween
When all the wizards may be seen
By naughty kids and grown-up folks
Who like to play most wicked jokes.

But good young girls and gentle boys,
The kids who are their mothers’ joys
They like the dark just as the light,
For spooks never come within their sight,
And in their dreams they lovely elves
Show them bright scenes from fairy delves.

So, if tonight you are afraid
Of any spook or any shade,
We’ll know you are a naughty child,
So cross and willful, rude and wild.

Halloween Poems for Kids

Jack-o-Lantern Author Unknown

Jack-o-lantern, Jack-o-lantern,
You are such a funny sight.
As you sit there by the window,
Looking out into the night.
You were once a sturdy pumpkin,
growing on a curly vine.
Now you are a Jack-o-lantern,
See your night lights shine.

Halloween poems for children, best Halloween poems, Halloween poetry children, Halloween poems education, Halloween poems for teachers, cute Halloween poems

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Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - October 25, 2012 at 7:07 am

Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, email Forwards, Halloween, Kids/Children, Poems   Tags: , ,

Happy Thanksgiving 2012

HAPPY THANKSGIVING CANADA

*

 

*

American Thanksgiving Dates2012 – Thursday, November 22

Canadian Thanksgiving Dates2012 – Monday, October 8


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Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - October 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Categories: Canada, email Forwards, Funny Pictures, Great Pictures, I've learned that..., Interesting Facts, Poems, Thanksgiving   Tags: , , , , ,

You Never Had to Love Me – Poem for Father’s Day

I loved this beautiful poem about love and Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day- Beautiful Poem

You never had to smile at me,

Or tell me I made you glad.

You never had to say I was special,

Or hug me when I was sad.

You never had to hold my hand,

Or check under my bed.

You never had to laugh with me.

Or when I was sick feel my head.

You never had to drive me to school,

or make sure I was doing my best.

You never had to make me feel beautiful,

Above all the rest.

You never had to walk me down the Isle,

On that very special day.

You never had to protect me,

In every kind of way.

You never had to be proud of me,

Even when I had done something wrong.

But I guess you did all of these things,

Because you loved me all along.

You wanted to be my father

Although you never had to be.

And you loved me more than life itself,

Even though you never had to love me.

I thank you every day,

For choosing to be in my life.

You made me the woman I am,

A good mom and a good wife.

I love you more than anyone,

Could ever comprehend.

I will love all the way,

To the very end.

And then when I see you,

All I want to say,

Is that I never had to love you,

But I love you more every single day.

by Chelsea Ebrecht.

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Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - June 13, 2012 at 5:43 am

Categories: Beautiful Email Forwards, email Forwards, Father's Day, Great Posters, I've learned that..., Inspirational, Interesting Facts, LOVE, Poems, Relationships, Wisdom   Tags: , , , , ,

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