John on January 29th, 2010
Just in Case You Get a Cheque….
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment i.e HST rebate.  This is a very exciting program from the Ontario government..
I’ll explain it using the Q and A format:
—————————————————————
Q.  What is  Ontario ’s Economic Stimulus payment?
A.  It is money that the provincial government will send to taxpayers.

Q..  Where will the government get this money?
A.  From taxpayers..
Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money?
A.  Only a smidgen.
Q.  What is the purpose of this payment?
A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q.  But isn’t that stimulating the economy of Asia ?
A.  Shut up or you don’t get your check.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Canadian economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
1.  If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China .
2.  If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia .
3.  If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
4.  If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala ..
5.  If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
6.  If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
7.  If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.

Or, you can keep the money in Canada by:
1.   spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or
2.   going to baseball or football games, or
3.   hiring prostitutes, or
4.   buying cheap beer or
5.   getting tattoos.
These are the only wholly-owned businesses still operating in  Canada .

Conclusion:
The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you’re drunk enough to go get tattooed.

Continue reading about How to stimulate the economy.

John on January 27th, 2010

I  was so depressed last night thinking about the  economy, the wars, jobs, savings, Social Security,  retirement funds,   etc…….


I  called Lifeline.

I got a call centre in Pakistan  . I  told them I was  suicidal.…………………….. They  all got excited and asked if I could drive a  truck…

Continue reading about Lifeline…

John on January 5th, 2010

securedownload

Everyone  seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide . .. Let’s see  now…
No  Jesus
No Christmas
No television
No cheerleaders
No Nude Women

No car races

No  football

No baseball

No  golf

No tailgate  parties

No Wal-Mart

No pork BBQ

No hot dogs

No  burgers

No chocolate chip  cookies

No  lobster

No  shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks

No nachos

No Beer nuts

No Beer !!!!!!!!

Constant  wailing from the guy next-door because he’s sick and there are no  doctors..

More  than one wife.

You  can’t shave.

Your  wives can’t shave.

You  can’t shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel  dung.

The women  have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times.

Your  bride is picked by someone else.

She  smells just like  your donkey.

But your  donkey has a better disposition.

Then they  tell you that when you die it all gets better!

Continue reading about Hope they are running out of Instructors!

John on December 31st, 2009

Copy and paste the link below, especially if you are not a George Bush fan! (Small commercial but it is worth it.)

http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=9351032

Continue reading about Biggest Flubs of the Decade

John on December 22nd, 2009

invasion-check-list

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John on December 20th, 2009

Garfield on  the oil crisis


A  lot of folks can’t understand how we  came
to  have an oil shortage here in  Canada .

Well,  there’s a very simple answer,
Nobody bothered  to check the oil.

We just didn’t know we  were getting low.

The  reason for this is  purely geographical.


Our  Oil is located  in:

ALBERTA

SASKATCHEWAN

BRITISH COLUMBIA
MANITOBA
COASTAL  NEW  BRUNSWICK
COASTAL  NEWFOUNDLAND

Our DIPSTICKS are   located   in OTTAWA

Any  Questions ???
NO  ?….  Didn’t  think so.

Continue reading about Oil Crisis

Jayzoo on December 20th, 2009

US_World-according

Continue reading about The World According to America

Jayzoo on December 20th, 2009

obama100_20.jpg

Continue reading about Obama – I’m Surrounded by Idiots