I thought this little “Joke” about leagalizing marijuana was quite timely.
A recent poll showed
a majority of Americans support legalizing marijuana!
And with 420 Day fast approaching!!!
A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward legalizing marijuana.
“If you are talking about the substance that is an effective treatment of seizures and migraines, that also helps MS patients, and relieves pain, nausea and vomiting and increases appetite in people with cancer and AIDS. The substance that relaxes its users in this terribly stressful world? Can you imagine the tax revenue that we senators could put to good use to help the 99%. Then I’m all for legalizing marijuana. Besides, there is no existing evidence of anyone dying of a marijuana overdose.”
‘However, If you mean the demon weed that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, and desecrates family life, then I’m against it.
This is my position, and I will not compromise.’
Funny Quotes about Hypocritical Politicians
A hypocrite is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree, then mount the stump and make a speech for conservation.
Adlai E. Stevenson
In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.
- Autobiography of Mark Twain
The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
- Mark Twain in Eruption
I was really too honest a man to be a politician and live.
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THE PUTIN GAMES
Russian authorities last week announced the latest costs related to the games, saying total spending would come to about $51 billion, which would make Sochi the most expensive Olympics in history.
With the Winter Olympics a year away, IOC President Jacques Rogge praised Sochi organizers on Wednesday and defended the
$51 billion price tag.
Just a little research will convince you that many people in Russia are very poor.
But Putin wants to fool the world into thinking Russia is a great country. It is a great place to live for a select few.
I wonder what Putin would do if most countries boycotted the 2013 Sochi Olympics.
In a perfect world that is what we should do. He is a dictator in ever sense of the word.
How will the Olympic games help the average Russian??
The venue for the Ski Jumping competition will cost approximately $265 million ! 4-5 times more than projected.
So much money spent on a “sport” that most people will never participate in!!!
WHAT A SHAME!!!
The Democrats sit / On the edge of the big cliff / damn! it’s just a hill.
The democrats stall / at the edge of the steep cliff / please, give them a push
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The Adventures of Curtis and Leroy
How the American Congress Works!
How we got into the Fiscal Cliff Farce!
Just before the Fiscal Cliff mess, the government owned a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.
Congress said, “Someone may steal from it.” So they created a night watchman position and hired three people to handle the job, D. Squat (a retired and famous pro football player) and Curtis and Leroy.
Then Congress said,”How do the watchmen do their jobs without instruction?” So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.
Then Congress said,”How will we know the night watchmen are doing the tasks correctly?” So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.
Then Congress said,”How are these people going to get paid?” So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people.
Then Congress said,”Who will be accountable for all of these people?” So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.
Then Congress said, “We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $64,000 over budget.” Many suggested that they just print more money, like they do for most other things. But some said it’s time we became fiscally responsible.
So they laid off the three night watchmen.
A few Government Officials became very upset and announced that Congress could layoff Curtis and Leroy but should never have a laid off the other watchman especially if they knew who he was!
It just goes to show you that most people in Congress
don’t care about Curtis and Leroy and don’t know Diddly Squat!
…and that is how we got into the Debt Crisis and why America may still fall off the Fiscal Cliff.
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American Congress is the least functional
in the History of the United States.
In response to a question about civility in politics, Barbara Bush didn’t hold back. “I think the rest of the world is looking at us these days and saying, ‘What are you doing?’ They are looking on not only worried about America, but laughing at America.
She also said, “I hate that people think compromise is a dirty word. It’s not a dirty word.”
The Democrats, teeter/ On the edge of the cliff / damn! it’s just a hill.
Sen. Joe Manchin of West Virginia noted, “Something has gone terribly wrong when the biggest threat to our American economy is the American Congress.”
AMERICA, THE BEST DEMOCRACY ON EARTH THAT MONEY CAN BUY!
They couldn’t figure out how to avert $110 billion
in spending cuts that were about to take effect.
Congress and the White House just agreed to put off a decision
for two more months.
So… two months will come and go without anything being resolved. What will follow will be one crisis after another with the Republicans stalling and hoping and preying that they can keep Obama from governing until the next Federal Election. And then the incredible nonsense of the US Presidential race will take place again. It’s government by crisis, delay, avoidance and temporizing.
In effect, Washington is up shit creek without a paddle.
(To be in deep trouble with no solution.)
Cliff Clavin (John Ratzenberger) explains the “buffalo theory” to his drinking buddy Norm (George Wendt):
“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But, naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”
MORAL OF THE FISCAL CLIFF CLAVIN STORY
Congress can only move as fast as the slowest Republican members.
Unfortunately, there are far too many Republicans
who are really, really slow!
The Fiscal Cliff and Monkeys
If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, hang a
banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of stairs under the
banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the
As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys with cold
water. After a while another monkey makes an attempt with same result …
all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon when another
monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put the cold water away.
Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.
The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs.
To his shock, all of the other monkeys beat the crap out of him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the
stairs he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys, replacing it with a new
one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer
takes part in the punishment… with enthusiasm.
Then, replace a third original monkey with a new one, followed by a fourth,
then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs he is
attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they
were not permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they know why they are
participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining
monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, none of
the monkeys will try to climb the stairway for the banana.
Why, you ask? Because in their minds… that is the way it has always been!
This, my friends, is how Congress operates… and is why, from time to time,
all of the monkeys need to be REPLACED AT THE SAME TIME.
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Dec. 21, 2012, won’t be the end of the world as we know, however, it will be another cold and bitter winter, especially for Republicans.
Contrary to some of the common beliefs out there, the claims behind the end of the world are easily explained when pinned down to the 2012 US Presidential Election Campaign.
(Unless we find some evidence to the contrary.)
Question (Q): Are there any threats to the Earth in 2012? Many Internet websites say the world will end in December 2012.
Answer (A): The world will not end in 2012. Our planet has been getting along just fine since the beginning of time which is approximately 2000 years. Credible scientists worldwide know of no threat associated with 2012. Wait, I thought we didn’t believe anything scientists say. Maybe there is a threat?
Answer (B): The real answer is yes and the world ended on Tuesday, November 6, 2012 when we lost the election.
Q: What is the origin of the prediction that the world will end in 2012?
A: The story started with claims that the world would come to an end when Americans elected a Democratic President in 2008. This catastrophe was initially predicted for Tuesday, November 4, 2008, but when nothing happened the doomsday date was moved forward to 2012 and linked to the US Presidential election.
Q: Does the Mayan calendar end in December 2012?
A: The calendar you have on your kitchen wall does not cease to exist after December 31, so the Mayan calendar does not cease to exist on December 21, 2012. Those are the facts and we are sticking to them unless a better idea is put fort.
Q: Are we predicting a “total blackout” of Earth on Dec. 23 to Dec. 25?
A: Absolutely not. Doesn’t matter because December 21 is the end of the world. Dumb question.
Q: Could planets align in a way that impacts Earth?
A: Certainly! Just the same as the Stars aligned to allow the Democrats to win the 2012 election.
Q: Is there a planet or brown star called Nibiru or Planet X or Eris that is approaching the Earth and threatening our planet with widespread destruction?
A: Not sure about that, but we do have a black President!
Q: What is the polar shift theory? Is it true that the Earth’s crust does a 180-degree rotation around the core in a matter of days if not hours?
A: To be totally honest this describes Mitt Romney’s platform during the 2012 campaign.
Flip-Flopper Mitt Romney
Mitt The “Switch”
You get the idea.
Q: Is the Earth in danger of being hit by a meteor in 2012?
A: The Earth has always been subject to impacts by comets and asteroids, although big hits are very rare. Scientists say the last big impact was 65 million years ago, and that led to the extinction of the dinosaurs. Damn scientists… hard to believe them when the Earth is only a couple thousand years old. So you can see for yourself that nothing is predicted to hit in 2012, except a Democratic win.
Q: How do Republicans feel about claims of the world ending in December 2012?
A: For any claims of disaster or dramatic changes in 2012, where is the science? Where is the evidence? There is none, and for all the fictional assertions, whether they are made in books, movies, documentaries or over the Internet, we cannot change that simple fact. There is no credible evidence for any of the assertions made in support of unusual events taking place in December 2012. They took place in November 2012 when we lost the election. As far as we are concerned the world ended on Tuesday, November 6, 2012.
Q: Is there a danger from giant solar storms predicted for 2012?
A: Certainly! Solar activity has a regular cycle, with peaks approximately every 4 years. We now believe that we lost the election due to this pattern of solar flares.
This post is a parody on the information presented on the NASA website ~Beyond 2012: Why the World Won’t End: http://www.nasa.gov/topics/earth/features/2012.html
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Takes On Health Care Proposals…
Humour for a change…!!!!!!!
The American Medical Association has weighed
The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPACA),
commonly called Obamacare
(or the federal health care law) care proposals:
The Allergists voted to scratch it,
but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it,
but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
The Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception.
Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.
Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!”
while the Paediatricians said, “Oh, Grow up!”
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness,
while the Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow,
and the Plastic Surgeons said, “This puts a whole new face on the matter…..”
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward,
but the Urologists were pissed off with the whole idea.
The Anaesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas,
and the Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists (specializes in problems of the colon, rectum, and anus) won out,
leaving the entire decision up to the Republican assholes in Congress.
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Boehner rejects call to pass tax cuts now for those making less than $250,000.
Nearly 15 million households on food stamps ~ November 2012
Boehner’s waiting to see if he can get the number of 15 million Americans households collecting food stamps up to 25 million. That would be a record and something he could be proud of!
Those receiving benefits through the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program numbered over 46.37 million.
“The unemployment data is not really telling us the true story of how many people are underemployed,” says Peter Cardillo, chief market economist at Rockwell Global Capital in New York.
Food stamps are “a good indication of how
the income of the workforce has stagnated and
more and more people are applying for food stamps.”
AT THE SAME TIME
The Rich are getting richer:
Richest 400 Americans’ net worth
jumps 13% during the last year
WHY SHOULDN’T THE RICH PAY MORE TAXES????
I believe the real reason is that
the super rich Americans are jealous
that their yachts aren’t as
big as some Russian Yachts
Rich Russian Yacht
Price: $485 million
Owner: Roman Abramovich, Russia
Owned by Russian oligarch and Chelsea football club owner Roman Abramovich, this yacht is known as the world’s largest private yacht with 558 feet in length. It is the most expensive private yacht in terms of its construction value. It is also the most expensive private yacht on charter with a fees of of $2 million for a week vacation. Facilities on board include 20 water jets, cinema, library, swimming pool, private garden among others. Also famous is the 5000 square feet master suite
If we tax wealthy Americans
their luxury yachts might need to be
scaled back a foot or two.
Rich American Yacht
Price: $200 million+
Owner: David Geffen, America
Currently owned by David Geffen, this yacht was originally commissioned by Oracle CEO Larry Ellison. This 453-feet vessel still stands as one of the top 10 largest private yachts in the world. The engine aboard the yacht is comprised of 4 MTU 20V 8000 M90 engines which generate 50,000 HP of output, and takes the boat up to 28 knots of speed. There are 82 luxurious rooms on 5 stories which include the 8,000 sq meter of living space, along with facilities like gymnasium and spa with sauna, along with extensive wine cellar, an ultra-luxurious master bedroom, private cinema with giant screens, and a basketball court on the main deck which doubles up as a helipad when needed.
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Congratulations President Obama!
It’s Finally Time to do something
The 17 months of campaigning or the silly season is over, I hope.
America sure is a country divided!
AS MANY PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD SAY
It’s been Howdy Doody Time
There are a few things out there that are universally annoying
– like fingernails on a blackboard
the GOP candidates.
“It’s extremely well-established, when you’re
getting lower-quality information coming in,
you’re having to work harder to understand and reconstruct it.”
Now I know why the GOP Candidates bug me so much.
Even Barbara Bush thinks that the GOP Race is a cause for embarrassment for America:
”The current political atmosphere was the worst she could remember. “I think the rest of the world is looking at us these days and saying, ‘What are you doing?” she said.
America is a great nation with many brilliant people and outstanding leaders.
It’s a shame that the Republican Party
( Tea Party ~ The GOP )
can’t find credible candidates and has made a laughing stock of American politics around the world.
WHAT A SILLY TEA PARTY!
While there are plenty of irritants in the world, there aren’t a lot of ways to alleviate that sense of annoyance. Palca points out that they’re part of human life and they’re something that everyone has to deal with from time to time.
But there are some techniques that people can use — distracting yourself if you’re stuck in a long line or something Palca calls “cognitive restructuring.”
“You can tell yourself that that mosquito is just a part of the life flow of the world and I shouldn’t be mad,” he says. “It’s just trying to do what it was genetically programmed to do.”
Basically, though, the bottom line is that you’re stuck, it’s annoying, and that’s part of life.
Annoying: The Science of What Bugs Us
By Joe Palca, Flora Lichtman
Maybe, what we all need is a little BUG HUG!
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What do you call a county that lacks a modern telecommunications system?
What do you call a county that lacks a fully integrated banking system?
What do you call a country that lacks a well-connected public transportation system?
What do you call a country that spend billions of dollars on an election then complains they don’t have enough money so they will be falling off a fiscal cliff?
A good site for The American National Anthem, lyrics and mp3 download at:
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