Religous

JUDGMENT DAY OCTOBER 21 ~ Not MAY 21, 2011

1. In Judeo-Christian and Muslim traditions, the day at the end of the world when God judges the moral worth of individual humans or the whole human race. Also called Day of Judgment.

   Judgment Day ~A day of reckoning or final judgment

   Regardless of belief, you will be judged by God on May 21, 2011 to determine if you will be saved by Jesus in the Rapture or left behind during the End Times until the End of The World on October 21 2011.

   The 89-year-old Harold Camping now says the real Day of Judgment will occur on Oct. 21. He claims that the Apocalypse on May 21, 2011 was an invisible judgment day and was a misunderstanding.

   “We’ve always said May 21 was the day, but we didn’t understand altogether the spiritual meaning.” The end of the world will be October 21, 2011. 

   Glad he cleared that up!

   I know where I’m going!!! 

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JUDGEMENT DAY IN BRITAIN AND CANADA

( spelled with an e ~ wonder what the e stands for? )

JUDGMENT DAY IN THE USA

Faith can be a beautiful thing,

Blind Faith can be very dangerous~ JC 2011

Judgement Day Jokes
A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, ” We will all die some day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event.” 

“Everybody shook their heads in agreement with this comment.”

Then the leader said to the group, “What would you do if you knew you
only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, and then the Great Judgment Day?”

A gentleman said, ” I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives.”

“Very good!” ,said the group leader, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.

One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, “I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction.”

“That”s wonderful!” the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.

But one gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly and said, “I would go to my mother-in-laws house for the 4 weeks.”

Everyone was puzzled by this answer, and the group leader ask, “Why your mother-in-law’s home?”

“Because that will make it the longest 4 weeks of my life!”

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A doctor, a nurse, and a leading GOP candidate for the 2012 Presidential Election are in line together at the Pearly Gates, waiting to be judged.  St. Peter appears to speak with them and asks them what good they have done in their lives.

Doctor:  “I have devoted my life to the sick and needy and have had a part in caring for and healing thousands of people.”

St. Peter:  “That’s great. Go ahead in to heaven. And what about you?”

Nurse:  “I have supported the Doctor and his patients my entire life as an adult, etc…”

St. Peter:  “Wonderful.  Please proceed in with the Doctor. And what about you?”

GOP Candidate: “I have tried to educate people about the fact that there is no climate change. If elected President I will lower the taxes for the rich. And I don’t believe in evolution. Those that do will probably not be saved, right? Finally, I will reform the medical system so that the poor and middle class will pay more so that we can save more money.”

St. Peter:  “Oh, I see. Please go on in . . . but you can only stay 1 night! ( We like to save money ,too) You’ll probably want to be with your other GOP friends, right?”

Inspirational Story about Sometimes there isn’t “anymore”  

 One  day a woman’s husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in  the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain  of learning that sometimes there isn’t “anymore”. No more hugs,  no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone  calls just to chat, no more “just one  minute.”
    Sometimes,  what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away,  never to return before we can say good-bye, say “I love  you.”  So  while we have it, it’s best we love it, care for it, fix it when  it’s broken and heal it when it’s sick.
    This  is true for marriage…..And old cars… And children with bad  report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and  grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we  are worth it.

Some  things we keep — like a best friend who moved away or a  sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that  make us happy, no matter what.
Life  is important, like people we know who are special.. And so, we  keep them close!

I  received this from someone who thought I was a ‘keeper’! Then I  sent it to the people I think of in the same way… Now it’s  your turn to send this to all those people who are “keepers” in  your life, including the person who sent it, if you feel that  way. Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends  know you love them?

Let  every one of your friends know you love them. Even if you think  they don’t love you back. And just in case I’m gone  tomorrow:

I  LOVE YA!!!   

Sarah Palin, Chris Christie and the End of the World ~ October 21

The GOP and Judgement Day October 21, 2011

Both, New Jersey governor, Chris Christie, and Sarah Palin (what is she now?) have been wrestling with whether to enter the race for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination.

Will they make a date, or will they, like Harold Camping’s failed end of the world predictions, miss their date with destiny in 2012?

Maybe Palin and Christie are waiting to see what happens on October 21.

If they decide not to run, it won’t be the end of the world.

If they decide to run and get elected, it would be the end of the world.

How the Internet Started

In the beginning was the word …

A revelation with an Incredibly Big Message (IBM):

Well, you might have thought that you knew how the

Internet started,

but here’s the TRUE story ….

In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by

the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself

a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com

was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and

long of leg. Indeed, she was often called

Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham,

her husband: “Why dost thou travel so far from town

to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever

leaving thy tent?”

And Abraham did look at her – as though she were

several saddle bags short of a camel load,

but simply said: “How, dear?”

And Dot replied: “I will place drums in all the towns

and drums in between to send messages saying what

you have for sale, and they will reply telling you

who hath the best price.

And the sale can be made on the drums and

delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot

have her way with the drums. And the drums rang

out and were an immediate success.

Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top

price, without ever  having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing

what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system

that only she and the drummers knew.

It was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS),

and she also developed a language to transmit ideas

and pictures – Hebrew To The People (HTTP)

But this success did arouse envy. A man named

Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham’s drum

and began to siphon off some of Abraham’s business.

But he was soon discovered, arrested and prosecuted -

for insider trading. And the young men did take to

Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy Horsefly take to

camel dung.

They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich

Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new

riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one

noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising

drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought

off every drum maker in the land.

And indeed did insist on drums to be made that

would work only with Brother Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say: “Oh, Abraham, what we have

started is being taken over by others.”

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or

eBay as it came to be known. He said: “We need

a name that reflects what we are.”

And Dot replied: “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.”

“YAHOO,”  said Abraham.

And because it was Dot’s idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham’s cousin, Joshua, being the young

Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he

was, soon started using Dot’s drums to locate things

around the countryside. It soon became known as

God’s Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE)

And the world was all a Twitter!!!!

Judgment Day Fail

Congratulations, you’ve made it through 2011’s apocalyptic prediction.

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NO RAPTURE, NOW WHAT?

Everyone knows Dec. 21, 2012 is the big one.

Faith can be a beautiful thing. Blind faith can be terrible. JC 2011

Just look at the ‘idiot’ Harold Camping and some of his ‘blind’ followers:

Robert Fitzpatrick, spent $140,000, nearly his life’s savings, on a poster campaign warning others about Rapture and Judgment Day.

Maybe they are not that dumb. Wonder what they will make writing books and being guests on Talk Shows????

Newt Gingrich and Judgment Day!

Newt Gingrich ~ “Every American has the right to ask these questions,” he said. “I have made mistakes in my life. I have had to go to God for forgiveness and to seek reconciliation. And I ask them to look at who I am today.”

AND GOD SAID,

“SORRY NEWT, YOU TELL EVERYONE THAT YOU TALK TO ME,

BUT YOU NEVER LISTENED!

Besides, Newt, you didn’t have these same standards

when you went after Clinton for his “mistake”.

People who live in glass houses should not throw stones…..

No Newt, I am not going to forgive and forget,

you get full credit for your mistake(s).”

Royal Wedding Service ~ The Very Reverend Dr John Hall

Arthur replied, ‘When I am worried about getting nervous before an important service, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.’

The day of the Royal Wedding arrived and because it was such an important event, he took Arthur Carr’s advice. Just before Kate Middleton arrived, John took a very small sip of vodka. When she arrived, he thought he might calm Kate’s nerves by telling her this cute joke about Prince William.

Before they entered the Chapel in Westminster Abbey, he got nervous and took another drink.

He proceeded to speak with great confidence during the Wedding Service. (and taking the occasional sip)

Upon his return to his office after the service, he found the following note on the door from his former friend, Arthur Carr:

1) Sip the vodka, don’t gulp.

2) It’s Prince William not King William.

3) When referring to Queen Elizabeth 11, it’s Her Majesty, not Beth.

4) It’s Catherine not Katey.

5) The joke you told about the most dangerous food for your health ~ a Wedding Cake ~ did not seem appropriate.

FINALLY

6) Prince Harry was the Best Man, not the Groom!

Maundy Thursday ~ Happy 85th Birthday Queen Elizabeth

The practice of distributing ”alms” to the needy or worthy on the Thursday of Holy Week dates back centuries and is an important annual event in the Queen’s calendar.

This year, Maundy Thursday, is being held on the Queen’s birthday – the first time the two events have coincided.

Maundy Thursday commemorates “The Lord’s Supper,” or what is commonly called “The Last Supper.” Good Friday observes Jesus hanging from the cross, while Easter celebrates His Resurrection.

Maundy Thursday is the common name for Holy Thursday and marks the beginning of the three day celebrating of Easter.

Maundy is derived from the Latin word mandatum, which means “commandment.”

Christ said to his disciples near the end of the Last Supper after Judas departed, “A new commandment I give unto you: That you love one another, as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”

Happy Palm Sunday

From Wikipedia:

Palm Sunday is a Christian moveable feast that always falls on the Sunday before Easter Sunday. The feast commemorates Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem, an event mentioned by all four Canonical Gospels (Mark 11:1-11, Matthew 21:1-11, Luke 19:28-44, and John 12:12-19).

In many Christian churches, Palm Sunday is marked by the distribution of palm leaves (often tied into crosses) to the assembled worshipers. The difficulty of procuring palms for that day’s ceremonies in unfavorable climates for palms led to the substitution of boughs of box, yew, willow or other native trees. The Sunday was often designated by the names of these trees, as Yew Sunday or by the general term Branch Sunday.

Palm Sunday Quotes:

Palm Sunday is like a glimpse of Easter. It’s a little bit joyful after being somber during Lent.
~ Laura Gale  

We are doing a collaboration with the concert choir on Palm Sunday, April 9. We are also trying to plan an opera for next year.
~ Gerardo Edelstein

You are saying all those people who show up on Palm Sunday, Easter and Christmas fly away in between those holy days?
~ Buck Malachi

But Palm Sunday tells us that … it is the cross that is the true tree of life.
~ Pope Benedict XVI

James Inhofe, Laurent Gbagbo, Religion and Climate Change

Why does Senator James M. Inhofe support former Ivory Coast President Laurent Gbagbo?

Gbagbo was an evil dictator who was responsible for many atrocities.

International Criminal Court says  Gbagbo to answer charges of crimes against humanity.

Ivory Coast’s Laurent Gbagbo must be held to account for any crimes against humanity and other atrocities in which he has been implicated, rights group Human Rights Watch said on Monday after the incumbent Ivorian leader was arrested.

Quotes about Religion that describe James Inhofe

Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion—several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn’t straight. –Mark Twain

Men ( Senator James Inhofe ) never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it with religious conviction. — Blaise Pascal

Of all bad men religious bad men ( Senator James Inhofe ) are the worst. –C.S. Lewis

Evangelical Christianity, as everyone knows, is founded upon hate, as the Christianity of Christ was founded upon love.– H. L. Mencken

If it weren’t for Christians like ( Senator James Inhofe ), I’d be a Christian.– Mahatma Ghandi

Jesus would be / is embarrassed by morons like James Inhofe. Don’t use my name in vane or in any other way, James! ~ JC 2011

The Church says the Earth is flat. But I know that it is round. For I have seen the shadow on the Moon. And I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church. –Robert Ingersoll

Senator James Inhofe says that man has not caused global warming. But we have seen the facts and we have more faith in science than a moron like Inhofe. ~JC 2011

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It’s fanatics like James Inhofe that prompted brilliant men like John Locke and Thomas Jefferson to believe why there should be

Separation of the Church and State

John Locke~ government lacked authority in the realm of individual conscience, as this was something rational people could not cede to the government for it or others to control. For Locke, this created a natural right in the liberty of conscience, which he argued must therefore remain protected from any government authority. These views on religious tolerance and the importance of individual conscience, along with his social contract, became particularly influential in the American colonies and the drafting of the United States Constitution. -wikipedia

James Inhofe Jokes

James Inhofe’s son (James Junior) had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that special day, they’d each walked across the lake to the bar on the far side for their first legal drink. So when James Junior turned 21 , he and his pal, Laurent Gbagbo Jr., took a boat out to the middle of the lake. James stepped out of the boat… and nearly drowned! Gbagbo just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, James Jr. went to see his grandmother. ‘Grandma,’ he asked, ‘it’s my 21st birthday, so why can’t I walk ‘cross the lake like my dad, his father, and his father before him? ‘

Granny looked deeply into his troubled eyes and said, ‘Your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were born in the winter, just like you, in a time when the lake was always frozen. Because of idiots like your father, who believed that Global Warming was a hoax, the water never freezes anymore!’

Any other state want him? We’ll give him to you, and even throw in Coburn for free.

Religion Becoming Extinct!

The result, reported at the American Physical Society meeting in Dallas, US, indicates that religion will all but die out altogether in those countries.

The team took census data stretching back as far as a century from countries in which the census queried religious affiliation: Australia, Austria, Canada, the Czech Republic, Finland, Ireland, the Netherlands, New Zealand and Switzerland.

The study found a steady rise in those claiming no religious affiliation.

Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind. ~ Albert Einstein

A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty – it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute the truly religious attitude; in this sense, and in this alone, I am a deeply religious man. (Albert Einstein)

I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it. (Albert Einstein, 1954)

Stephen Hawking: No Need for God in the Creation of the Universe

“It is not necessary to invoke God to light the blue touch paper and set the universe going.”

Interesting to note that the countries

are also some of the most peaceful countries on Earth.

Faith can be a beautiful thing. Blind faith is not! ~JC 2011