Women

MOTHERS THINK TWICE

Famous Funny and Inspirational Quotes About Mothers

• “Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard” ~ Author Unknown

• “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” ~Milton Berle

• “The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” ~Rajneesh

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, MOM

Happy Mother’s Day Quotes

All I am I owe to my mother.
- George Washington

The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.
- W.R. Wallace

To a child’s ear, ‘mother’ is magic in any language.
- Arlene Benedict, For Mother with Love

H

MOMS ARE BUSY PEOPLE

Moms are the busiest people on the planet.

Moms are like superheroes. They juggle everything from household budgets to healthcare decisions. They handle household chores and shuttle the kids to countless after-school activities, making home-life the full-time job that it is. And yet for many, it doesn’t stop there as they maintain full-time jobs and may also be caring for aging parents on top of all of the responsibilities at home.

Simple reminders for Mothers to take care of themselves and quotes to ponder.

• Do simple exercises every day.

• Take time as often as possible to do something just for you.

• Sing while working. Arthur Freed said,” I’m singing in the rain, just singing in the rain; What a wonderful feeling, I’m happy again.”

• Take a nap. Martha Steward said,”I catnap now and then, but I think while I nap, so it’s not a waste of time.”

• Kiss your love ones. Benjamin West said,”A kiss from my mother made me a painter.”

• Laugh out loud. Laughter is the best medicine.

• Sleep well. Leonardo da Vince said,”A well-spent day brings happy sleep.”

May these reminders help you to have a wonderful DAY,

EVERY DAY.

Famous Quotes About Moms and Mothers

Mother’s Day is just around the corner!

She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along.  ~Margaret Culkin Banning

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.  A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.  ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?  ~Milton Berle

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.
- Tenneva Jordan

The best medicine in the world is a mother’s kiss. 
- Anonymous

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
- Mark Twain

Mama was my greatest teacher, a teacher of compassion, love and fearlessness. If love is sweet as a flower, then my mother is that sweet flower of love. 
- Stevie Wonder

Mother Baby Beautiful

MOTHER’S DAY  May 13, 2012

Best Mother’s Day Gifts

For that Special Mother in your life,

you might want to consider the following two GREAT GIFT IDEAS.

They are free

No tax

No special equipment needed,

No batteries or parts

Always arrive on time

Guaranteed to please

Extremely Personal

Shipping is free

and they a returnable

A MASSAGE

AND A HUG

Just open up your arms

And open up your hearts.

Research also shows that our skin is teeming

with nerve fibres which spring into action when we are

cuddled, hugged, massaged or gently touched.

They transmit the information back to the brain’s emotional hub,

creating feelings of pleasure.

Did you know that, if you visualise, you can actually hug on the phone? ~ Shelly Long

Where I live if someone gives you a hug it’s from the heart. ~ Steve Irwin

A hug is like a boomerang – you get it back right away. ~ Bil Keane

But remember,

a hug without a squeeze

is like apple pie without cheese.

Don’t Forget Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day Date for most  Countries 

Second Sunday in the month of May. 

United Kingdom/England: Mother’s Day is called Mothering Sunday and falls on the fourth Sunday in Lent.

High Cost of Gas in France Joke

I auto know better than to post this! But everyone’s fuming over the high cost of gas and I thought a little humor might cheer you up!

Unfortunately, I carn’t think of what else to write because I have engine block,  so oil just tell the joke…

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error,

he replied, “Monsieur, zat is the reason I stole de paintings.

I had no Monet

 to buy Degas

to make the Van Gogh.”

See if you have de Gaulle to send this on to someone else.

I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse.

Marriage Jokes and One Liners

1. Philip: I’m a man of few words.

   Charles: I’m married, too.

2. The five essential words for a good marriage: ‘I apologize’ and ‘You are right.’

3. A wedding ring may not be as tight as a tourniquet, but it does an equally good job of stopping circulation.

4. If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don’t stand in her way.

5. My opinions are my wife’s, and she says I’m lucky to have them.

Kate, young single lady visits the local dating agency and explains, ‘I’m looking for a husband.  Can you please help me to find a suitable one?’

The dating receptionist needs to find out some details so she asks, ‘ What are your requirements, please?’

‘Well, let me see.’ Kate says, ‘He needs to be fine looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hours, if I don’t go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.’

The receptionist listens politely and carefully and responds, ‘I understand. You need a television.’

A Conversation in Heaven ~ How did you die?

The Perfect Couple and the Easter Bunny

Once upon a time there was a Perfect Man and a Perfect woman.

After a perfect courtship they had a perfect wedding.

Their life together was, of course, perfect.

 One rainy Easter weekend, they were driving their

perfect car along a winding road

when they noticed someone on the side of the road in distress.

Being the perfect couple they stopped to help.

To their surprise, there stood the Easter Bunny with his huge basket of Easter Eggs.

Not wanting to disappoint any children at Easter time,

the perfect couple loaded the Easter Bunny and eggs into their car.

Unfortunately, the thunderstorm got worse

and the perfect couple and the Easter Bunny were in an accident.

Only one of them survived the accident.

Question: Who was the survivor?

The perfect woman survived the crash.

She’s the only one who existed in the first place.

Everyone knows that the Easter Bunny isn’t real and there has never been a Perfect Husband.

Women stop reading now.

Men continue reading below.

So, if there was no Perfect Man and no Easter Bunny,

the woman must have been driving!

This explains why there was a car accident.

Men, continue reading below.

By the way, if you’re a woman and you are still reading,

this illustrates another point.

Some women never listen or follow directions!

Easter and Your Imagination

Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.  ~Stephen Leacock

Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun.  ~George Scialabba

If you see the magic in a fairy tale, you can face the future.  ~Danielle Steel

The hardest thing about reality is returning to it after an hour inside your child’s mind.  ~Robert Brault

I believe in the imagination.  What I cannot see is infinitely more important than what I can see.  ~Duane Michals, Real Dreams