Mother’s Day is just around the corner!
She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along. ~Margaret Culkin Banning
When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? ~Milton Berle
A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.
- Tenneva Jordan
The best medicine in the world is a mother’s kiss.
- Anonymous
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
- Mark Twain
Mama was my greatest teacher, a teacher of compassion, love and fearlessness. If love is sweet as a flower, then my mother is that sweet flower of love.
- Stevie Wonder
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Have you exercised today?
What a clever exercise program! 
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Remember, Mother’s Day is just a few weeks away!
Mothers really are special!
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MOTHER’S DAY May 13, 2012
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For that Special Mother in your life,
you might want to consider the following two GREAT GIFT IDEAS.
They are free
No tax
No special equipment needed,
No batteries or parts
Always arrive on time
Guaranteed to please
Extremely Personal
Shipping is free
and they a returnable
A MASSAGE
AND A HUG
Just open up your arms
And open up your hearts.
Research also shows that our skin is teeming
with nerve fibres which spring into action when we are
cuddled, hugged, massaged or gently touched.
They transmit the information back to the brain’s emotional hub,
creating feelings of pleasure.
Did you know that, if you visualise, you can actually hug on the phone? ~ Shelly Long
Where I live if someone gives you a hug it’s from the heart. ~ Steve Irwin
A hug is like a boomerang – you get it back right away. ~ Bil Keane
But remember,
a hug without a squeeze
is like apple pie without cheese.
Don’t Forget Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day Date for most Countries
Second Sunday in the month of May.
United Kingdom/England: Mother’s Day is called Mothering Sunday and falls on the fourth Sunday in Lent.
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Name Fail
NBA player, Metta World Peace’s first name means
“Loving and Kindness”
His name should be ~ Metta World Moron
He hurt James Harden, his fans, his team and his reputation!
The media and internet are filled with outrage over the vicious elbow
Metta World Peace swung at Oklahoma City’s James Harden
in an NBA basketball game.
And there’s no question that Metta World Peace will forever be mocked about changing his name from Ron Artest.
NBA ALLSTAR ELBOW!
From Twitter:
From tennis star Andy Roddick (@andyroddick): “I think metta world peace should change his name to holy flying elbow.”
@phabriss: “After that little elbowing incident Sunday, I think Ron Artest’s name should be Metta World War, not Metta World Peace.”
@PatMcAfeeShow: “Metta world peace got a bit Ron Artesty didn’t he.”
@JCLayfield: “Shouldn’t Ron Artest become Metta World Moron after last night’s flagrant foul? World Peace just doesn’t seem right.”
@awfulannouncing: “How could Metta World Peace have a crazy Ron Artest relapse on Earth Day of all days? Cmon man.”
World Peace seems to think that he did nothing wrong at all, one of his tweets defending his action reads: “I just watched the replay again….. Oooo.. My celebration of the dunk really was too much… Didn’t even see James ….. Omg… Looks bad”.
***
Strange Case of Dr Artest and Mr. Peace
(Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde)
Ron Artest has a history of violence, but World Peace has been rehabilitated and has behaved fairly well.
Which player will David Stern punish?
METTA WORLD PEACE ~ SHATTERED IMAGE!
Two questions to be answered:
1. How long should his suspension be?
2. What will his new name be?
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As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world,
I rapidly realized - It’s the tortoise life for me!
1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn’t run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.
I’m retired. Go around me!
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This notice posted in war-torn Britain in 1940 for golfers
with stiff upper lips.
You have to admit — these guys really had guts!
German aircraft from Norway would fly on missions to
northern England ; because of the icy weather conditions,
the barrels of their guns had a small dab of wax to protect
them. As they crossed the coast, they would clear their guns
by firing a few rounds at the golf courses. Golfers were
urged to take cover.
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