Posts Tagged ‘education’

What Does A Teacher Make?

This is a very good one! Very moving!
From A School Principal’s speech at a graduation..
He said “Doctor wants his child to become a doctor……… Engineer wants his child to become engineer…… Businessman wants his ward to become CEO…..
BUT a teacher also wants his child to become one of them..!!!! Nobody wants to become a teacher BY CHOICE” ….Very sad but that’s the truth…..!!!
The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education.
 He argued, “What’s a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?”
To stress his point he said to another guest; “You’re a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?”
Teacher Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, “You want to know what I make? 
(She paused for a second, then began…)
“Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor winner.
I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can’t make them sit for 5 min.
 Without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental.
You want to know what I make? 
(She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table)
I make kids wonder.
I make them question.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions.
I teach them how to write and then I make them write. Keyboarding isn’t everything.
I make them read, read, read.
I make them show all their work in math.
 They use their God given brain, not the man-made calculator.
I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know about English while preserving their unique cultural identity.
I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe.
Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life
( Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.)
Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn’t everything,
I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant. You want to know what Imake?
I MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN ALL YOUR LIVES, EDUCATING KIDS
AND PREPARING THEM TO BECOME CEO’s , AND DOCTORS AND ENGINEERS……….
What do you make Mr. CEO?
His jaw dropped; he went silent.
THIS IS WORTH SENDING TO EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW.
 Even all personal teachers like mother, father, brother, sister, coach and spiritual leader/teacher.

Moral of the story:

We need to value public school teachers more! 

Too many bites taken out of Public Education, lately!

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Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - February 8, 2013 at 4:41 pm

Categories: Beautiful Email Forwards, Dumb People, Education, email Forwards, I've learned that..., Inspirational, Interesting Facts, Wisdom   Tags: , , , , , ,

THE CATCHER ON THE DESK ~ STUDENTS CHEATING ON TESTS

 

students cheating on tests-teacher on desk-funny

The Center for Academic Integrity (Duke University)  reports that “on most campuses, over 75% of students admit to some cheating on tests. In a survey of 2,100 students on 21 campuses across the country, about one-third of the participating students admitted to serious test cheating.”

 

cheating-on-test-funny-animation-gif

 

 

Some interesting pictures of students cheating on tests.

students cheating on test exams funny picture

 

 

 

 

 

 

cheating-on-test-funny

 

 

 

how to cheat on tests- cheating-funny

 

 

Cheating Method Detection Prevention
Using Other People
1. Whispering: asking for and giving answers verbally listen at all times for student whispering. use multiple proctors; wander incessantly. Stand close to anyone whispering
2. Wandering eyes: looking over the shoulder of someone or to the side watch for wandering eyes, looking out of corner of eyes use multiple proctors; wander incessantly
3. Passing notes: scribbles on paper watch for contact between people space them out; leave blank chairs in between
4. Sign language: use hand gestures (especially fingers for numbers) to communicate with others watch for movement of hands use multiple proctors; wander incessantly
5. Morse code – voice: use coughing or sneezing a set number of times to communicate an answer listen for rhythmic and repetitious noises; be wary of coughing demonstrate extra interest (go closer) when students cough
6. Morse code – nonverbal: use sounds like stamping feet, tapping pencil, etc. to communicate an answer listen for rhythmic and repetitious noises demonstrate extra interest (go closer) when rhythmic noises persist
7. Misdirection: one person distracts the proctor(s) while others cheat use multiple proctors; heightened alertness when a distraction occurs use multiple proctors; heightened alertness when a distraction occurs
Using the Body or Environment
8. Write on body: ink written on body part, perhaps covered by long sleeves watch for furtive movements. Beware not just sleeves, but under socks or even down shirts use multiple proctors; wander incessantly
9. Write on desk: especially when written in pencil for easy wiping later watch student eyes; are they moving the test back and forth across the desk? examine desks before class, watch for scribbling just before test distribution
10. Cheat sheet: prewritten cheat sheet, usually small font, hidden in clothes or under wristwatch observe student hand movements use multiple proctors; wander incessantly. OR: allow cheat sheets and design test for application, not facts
11. Cheat sheet on floor:prewritten cheat sheet hidden in book or under folders that are below the desk observe student foot movements; watch for students looking down require books/notes in backpack, not under desk
12. Cheat sheet in bag:prewritten cheat sheet in backpack; accessed when getting new pen beware of “fetching a new writing utensil or eraser” consider requiring bags be placed in a pile at the front of the room
13. Bathroom: leave with permission; get notes pre-hidden in bathroom (or from a friend waiting outside lecture hall) send a proctor to follow the student within reason scan bathroom for hiding spots before test. OR: do not allow bathroom breaks?
14. Chewing gum: write cheats on stick of gum in ink; pop into mouth if endangered (evidence is gone) wander room incessantly use multiple proctors; wander incessantly—cheaters will get scared and eat gum sooner than if you never wandered
15. Baby wipes: write on the body in ink, but have an alcohol wipe ready to remove evidence quickly watch for students looking at skin under clothing or have moist towelettes handy wander hall BEFORE exam so cheaters get nervous and wipe away the cheats
16. Invisible ink: visible only with a certain kind of handheld pen light watch for a tiny light being used secretively patrol the room regularly
17. Water bottle: remove label, write cheats on inside with small font, re-attach. Water acts as magnifying lens watch for students staring intently into water bottles require bottles remain on floor and not be used during the test
18. Baseball cap: reading the underside of the brim watch for wandering eyes remove all hats
19. Sunglasses: cheats pasted or written on inside of dark sunglasses observe carefully any sunglasses that stay on during the test require all sunglasses be removed
20. Barrel pens: pens with a small window and click to rotate messages can have a “safe” setting and use the other click settings to write cheats be suspicious of the pen-click noise stand near any student clicking out of the ordinary
21. Bra: cheat sheet stuck into center of bra, visible only when looking down into blouse difficult to spot without sexual harassment; watch student eye movements; better to prevent than catch use multiple proctors; wander incessantly
22. Leg fan: cheat sheet folded like a fan and taped to inside thighs; when hike up skirt and open legs, cheats are visible only to the cheater difficult to spot without sexual harassment; watch student eye movements; better to prevent than catch use multiple proctors; wander incessantly
Using Technology
23. Cell-Texting: type out a text message to someone else in class (or even at home) and get silent text reply watch for cell phone usage of any kind prohibit cell phones in test environment
24. Cell-Photo: take photo of test question, send to someone at home, get silent text reply watch for cell phone usage of any kind prohibit cell phones in test environment
25. Calculator-Program:type in formulas or cheats into calculator before test begins patrol room frequently; watch for frantic clearing of calculator results; watch for “flipping through” calculator read-out prohibit calculators in test environment
OR: ask department to invest in a box of “simple” calculators to share for tests
26. Calculator-Sharing:program cheats ahead of time and let someone else use the calculator during the test watch for sharing of calculators prohibit calculators in test environment
OR: ask department to invest in a box of “simple” calculators to share for tests
27. iPod-Professor: listen to recorded lecture during the test; possible to hide earphone wires behind long hair scan for earphone wires; patrol room nonstop prohibit iPod usage; require it to be placed into backpack below desk
28. iPod-Student: pre-record yourself saying formulas and cheats; listen during test scan for earphone wires; patrol room nonstop prohibit iPod usage; require it to be placed into backpack below desk
Other Methods
29. Mutilate: Erase, cross out, crease, fold, cover over (even with Chapstick) “non-answer” parts of the Scantron form to confuse the machine and guarantee a 100% score (note: none of the methods work all the time) watch for any alterations of Scantron form patrol the room often. Also, erase any pencil markings over the pre-printed black lines along the side of the Scantron (the most common method). Also, hand-score any suspicious Scantrons.
30. Shades of Gray: guess about multiple answers in the same line, all in gray so you have a chance to get lucky. Also possible to erase the wrong answers if you get the form back, and make a case for the machine not seeing your answer give a cursory glance to all Scantrons before being scored; make a note of students who left multiple answers potentially filled in. Also: it helps to photocopy such Scantrons before scoring them, as a record do not hand back Scantrons. Report student grades to them electronically instead
31. Lie About Answer:Leave answer blank entirely, but bubble in the correct answer in “gray” when the form comes back, and claim the machine didn’t read it make a photocopy of any Scantrons that have blank spaces do not hand back Scantrons. Report student grades to them electronically instead
32. Duplicate Scantrons:have a smart friend take the test on two forms but keep one. In next hour, you turn in his/her form as your own watch for someone filling in two Scantrons during the test, perhaps one on top of the other. use a different version of the test for each class section (or at least re-order the questions)
33. Steal Questions: keep the question packet and give it to someone who will take the test later in the day watch how students pack up at the end of the test, and keep an eye out for questions being stuffed into bags require return of questions; verify that every student turning in answers also turns in questions sheet
34. Bank Questions:memorize questions from last year’s test, saved by a friend or a social (Greek) organization detect pattern of sudden perfect scores for a student whose grades were much worse previously change the test every semester—more than just the order of questions!
35. Publisher’s Questions:contact the textbook publisher and pose as an instructor; request test bank detect pattern of sudden perfect scores for a student whose grades were much worse previously don’t use the publisher’s test bank
36. Feign Illness: after seeing test, get permission to go home sick and take the same test later detect pattern of sudden perfect scores for a student whose grades were much worse previously use different questions on make-up exams
37. Bluetooth: use the ear-only receiver to hear answers over the phone witness student whispering at no one, or blinking light from hair scan to verify you can see the ears of all students
38. Teenager Frequency:use the tone audible only to people under 20 as a cell phone ring tone, and then receive text messages watch for cell phone usage of any kind prohibit cell phones in test environment
39. Rubber Band: write cheats on a rubber band that is stretched out. When relaxed, the writing is disguised watch for hands moving suspiciously patrol the room frequently
40. Ringer: send in an expert to take the test for you and write down your name check ID when Scantron is handed in tell students you will check ID when Scantron is handed in

 

 

cheat-how-to-stop-cheating-funny picture

 

How to Prevent Cheating in the classroom:

Always be in control of the classroom. Being vigilant in the classroom is the best way to not only catch students cheating, but to prevent cheating from happening in the first place.

 

The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat oneself

- Philip James Bailey

He that will cheat at play, will cheat you any way

- Proverb

I would prefer even to fail with honor than to win by cheating

- Sophocles

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Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - January 19, 2013 at 10:10 am

Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, Dumb People, Education, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, Famous Quotes, FUNNY EMAILS, Great Pictures, Humor, I've learned that..., Interesting Facts   Tags: , , , ,

Back to School Puns

Once A Pun A Time…

Decimals have a point.

I’ve failed the mathematics test so many times I lost count.

I didn’t understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils.

A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.

He said I was average – but he was just being mean.

My student was late for class, claiming he was in the washroom. I think he was stalling.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

I’m bad at math, so the equation 2n+2n is 4n to me.

Math teachers have lots of problems.

When the electricity went off during a storm at a school the students were de-lighted.

What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re so pointless.

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Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - August 29, 2012 at 1:09 am

Categories: Education, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Humor, I've learned that..., Interesting Facts, Jokes, Kids/Children   Tags: , , ,

Why Teachers Drink – Because Grading is so difficult!!!

Dept of Statistics:
All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
Dept of Psychology:
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
Dept of History:
All students get the same grade they got last year.
Dept of Religion:
Grade is determined by God.
Dept of Philosophy:
What is a grade?
Law School:
Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
Dept of Logic:
If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.
Dept of Computer Science:
Random number generator determines grade.
Music Department:
Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and – would be sharp and flat respectively).
Dept of Physical Education:
Everybody gets an A.

Have you ever experienced grading / marking like this?

Dept of Statistics: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.

Dept of Psychology: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The prof opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.

Dept of History: All students get the same grade they got last year.

Dept of Religion: Grade is determined by God.

Dept of Philosophy: What is a grade?

Law School: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.

Dept of Logic: If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.

Dept of Computer Science: Random number generator determines grade.

Music Department: Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and – would be sharp and flat respectively).

Dept of Physical Education: Everybody gets an A.

 

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Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - June 10, 2012 at 1:13 am

Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, Answers to WHY TEACHERS DRINK, Dumb People, Education, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Great Pictures, Humor, I've learned that..., Interesting Facts, Jokes, Wisdom   Tags: , , , ,

Who wants to be a teacher?

Destroy teachers moral, decrease spending in poor performing schools, treat teacher librarians in a disgraceful manner (California), increase class sizes … When will the stupidity end?

When the people who make the decisions and have the power put their children in private schools, why should they care about Public Education? The sad answer is they don’t!

who wants to be a teacher funny sad

December 2011 Texas

Sandy Kress, an attorney in Austin 

Kress says efficiency and accountability are crucial, but he worries even more that Texas will revert to the bad old days when school districts used tight budgets as an excuse for neglecting low-income and minority students.

“The result is that children will be left behind, gaps will grow again and we may be in a place where we are retreating instead of advancing for the first time in 50 years,” Kress says. “And this is disastrous.”

Already, the $4.3 billion in school funding cuts seems to have made the disparity between poor and wealthy school districts worse.

A poor district now gets $800 less per student from the state than a wealthy district.  WHY??????????????????????

Ending tenure for new teachers and linking their job security and pay to how well students perform on assessment tests will destroy the PUBLIC school system in the United Staes.

Florida: A Bill, designed to do just that, introduced by Erik Fresen, cleared the Florida House of Representatives on Wednesday. Rick Scott, the new Governor strongly supports the bill.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie claims teachers make too much money, are not effective and too difficult to fire. He wants to use merit pay and  judge the value of teachers based on student test data. Vanderbilt University, in one of the first scientific studies of such a merit educational system, tested the theory by offering math teachers in Nashville, Tennessee, between $5,000-$15,000 if their students scored higher on a state-based examination. The results? It didn’t work, and the students didn’t score higher even with hefty incentives for the teachers. As the report concluded, “The experiment was intended to test the notion that rewarding teachers for improved scores would cause scores to rise. By and large, results did not confirm this hypothesis.”

 

Sadly, “This is the mother of all unfunded mandates,” said Representative Scott Randolph, an Orlando Democrat. “What kind of fuzzy math do we use to get there?”

I fear for the future of PUBLIC EDUCATION in  California, Florida and many other States!

 

After being interviewed by the school administration, the prospective teacher said

‘Let me see if I’ve got this right.

‘You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning.

‘You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.

‘You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job.

‘You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the final exams

‘You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents in English, Spanish or any other language, by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.

‘You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps.

-without support from many parents ( When I was a student, If I got in trouble at school I got in more trouble at home)

-with dwindling budgets and support

-with a great deal of stress

-with a huge workload

-with low status

-after 5 years of College or University Education

 

‘You want me to do all this and then you tell me. . .

 

I will not be able to have security (tenure) and have the threat of losing my job if students perform poorly on state, 0r federal tests (which are a waste of money and time).

Forget it! I think I’ll become a banker. Even if I destroy the savings of millions of people and really screw up, I can keep my job, collect huge bonuses and get a bailout from the Federal government.


Florida Governor

Columbia/HCA hospital ~  The real reason Floridians would be insane to even consider electing this man is his leadership of the Columbia/HCA hospital chain. http://crooksandliars.com/karoli/why-rick-scott-running-governor-florida-adh

 

How did Rick Scott become Governor? The more I read the more I am disgusted with him. I don’t live in Florida and I feel sick.

http://seminoledemocrats.blogspot.com/2011/02/rick-scotts-7-lies-on-rail-before.html

 

 

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Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by John - March 18, 2011 at 2:36 am

Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, Dumb People, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Humor, I've learned that..., In the News, Interesting Facts, Kids/Children, Politics   Tags: , , ,

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