Posts Tagged ‘funny advice’

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say it’s not quite as good as his mother’s

then get a dog.
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want…

then get a dog.
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn’t care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies

… then get a dog.
If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to
warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores

… then get a dog!
If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn’t care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves
you unconditionally, perpetually…

… then get a dog.
BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair
all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness…
.
… then get a cat!
You thought I was gonna say… marry a man, didn’t you?
Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day.
Send this to all the men just to annoy them!

You…

… have a GREAT Day!
Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind, and the ones who mind, don’t matter.
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1. Funny Email Forwards, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, Funny Pictures, Happiness, Humor, I've learned that..., Interesting Facts, Jokes, Relationships, Wisdom, Women Tags:
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A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if played fast, he could squeeze in nine holes before he had to head home for dinner.
Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the fellow golfer to join him.
To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn’t hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn’t waste any time.
Finally, they reached the ninth fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball and directly between his ball and the green.
After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, “You know, when I was your age I’d hit the ball right over that tree.”
With the challenge placed before him, the younger golfer swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.
The old man offered one more comment, “Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only three feet tall.”

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1. Funny Email Forwards, 4. Old Age or Golden Years Jokes, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Humor, Interesting Facts, Jokes, Sports, Wisdom Tags:
email forward, funny advice, golf joke, Humor