Golfing With My Wife Humor
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a golf club wrapped tightly around his neck.
(He looked like Tiger Woods)
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.
“Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a nice quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture full of cows. We went to look for the ball and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white in its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the cow’s tail, and sure enough, there was my wife’s golf ball, stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. That’s when I made my mistake…”
“What did you do?” asks the doctor.
“Well, I lifted the cow’s tail and yelled to my wife, ‘Hey, this looks like yours!’”
and that’s when the fight started…
Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, 6. and that's when the fight started..., Dumb People, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Humor, I've learned that..., Interesting Facts, Jokes Tags: golf email forward, golf joke, Humor, wisdom fail
Curtis and Leroy decided to try golfing. After just a few holes, Leroy’s cart accidentally overturned. Curtis drove his cart to get help.
Elizabeth, a “beautiful” real golfer who lived in a villa on the
golf course heard the noise and yelled over to Leroy.
“Hey, are you okay, what’s your name?”
“Leroy,” he replied.
“Leroy, forget your troubles. Come to my villa,
rest up and I’ll help you get the cart up later.”
“That’s mighty nice of you,” Leroy answered,
“but I don’t think my wife would like it.”
“Aw come on,” Elizabeth insisted.
She was very pretty and persuasive.
”Well okay,” Leroy finally agreed,
And added, “but my wife won’t like it.”
After a hearty drink AND sexy driving and putting lessons, Leroy thanked his host.
“I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be real upset.”
“Don’t be foolish!” Elizabeth said with a smile , she wont know any thing. By the way, where is she?”
“Under the cart!”
Curtis and Leroy should try out the new Bubba Hover “Golf Cart” made by Bubba Watson. Leroy could have avoided all the trouble he is in…
Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, Adventures of the Hillbillies - Curtis and Leroy - Jokes, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Humor, I've learned that..., Jokes, Marriage, Relationships, Sex and Old Age Humour, Uncategorized, Wisdom Tags: curtis and leroy, curtis and Leroy joke, Golf, golf joke, Humor, joke, sex
A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if played fast, he could squeeze in nine holes before he had to head home for dinner.
Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the fellow golfer to join him.
To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn’t hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn’t waste any time.
Finally, they reached the ninth fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball and directly between his ball and the green.
After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, “You know, when I was your age I’d hit the ball right over that tree.”
With the challenge placed before him, the younger golfer swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.
The old man offered one more comment, “Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only three feet tall.”
Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, 4. Old Age or Golden Years Jokes, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Humor, Interesting Facts, Jokes, Sports, Wisdom Tags: email forward, funny advice, golf joke, Humor
The Parrot Died
At dawn the telephone rings . . .
“Hello, Senor Rod?” This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country
“Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?”
“Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot – he
“My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?”
“Si, Senor, that’s the one.”
“Damn! That’s a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did
he die from?”
“From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod.
“”Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?”
“Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.”
“Dead horse? What dead horse?”
“The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.”
“My prize thoroughbred is dead?”
“Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.”
“Are you insane?? What water cart?”
“The one we used to put out the fire, Senor.”
“Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man??”
“The one that destroyed your house, Senor! A candle fell and the
curtains caught on fire.”
“What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of
“Yes, Senor Rod.”
“But there’s electricity at the house!! What was the candle for?”
“For the funeral, Senor Rod.”
“WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!”
“Your wife’s, Senor Rod. She showed up very late one night and I
thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new TaylorMade R11S TP Driver.”
SILENCE……….. LONG SILENCE………
“Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you’re in deep shit!!”
Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Funny Pictures, Humor, I've learned that..., Interesting Facts, Jokes, Sports Tags: golf joke, Humor
Bob and Sally met while on a singles cruise and Bob fell in Love with her.
When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Bob was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.
Within a couple of weeks, Bob had taken Sally to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Bob became convinced that Sally was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.
On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Bob took Sally to a fine restaurant.
While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Bob said,
“I guess you can tell I’m very much in love with you. I’d like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it’s only fair to warn you, I’m a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that’s going to be a problem for us, you’d better say so now!”
Sally took a deep breath and responded, “Bob, that certainly won’t be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we’re being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I’ve been a hooker.”
Bob said, “I bet it’s because you’re not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball.”
Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Humor, Interesting Facts, Jokes, LOVE, Relationships, Women Tags: Golf, golf cruise humor, golf joke, joke, love, marriage