I know that I will be one of the chosen ones and be let into heaven on Judgment Day (whenever that is). Could be December 21, 2012??
I’m sorry to hear you ain’t comin’ along. You’re a good guy but you voted for George Bush – twice.
Since you are my best friend, I’m leaving all my valuable possessions to you.
Please take care of my dog, Sam and my pig, Sammy. I know Sam likes you and he didn’t mean to bite you when you looked after him last time.
You can have my still. I drank all the moonshine that we made last spring. I didn’t think they’d let me bring it with me.
I’ll also let you have my car. See if you can get it to work.
I’m keeping my rifle and I’ll try to sneak it in. You never know what to expect!
That’s about all I have. Oh ya! You can have my wife, too. She likes those GOP fellows, so I reckon she won’t be invited to heaven either.
Good luck (You’ll need it!),
One of The Saved, Praise the Lord!
Just in case those Mayan Predictions are not true and that Camping fella is wrong (again ), can I please have Sam and Sammy back?
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In Judeo-Christian and Muslim traditions, the day at the end of the world when God judges the moral worth of individual humans or the whole human race. Also called Day of Judgment.
Judgment Day ~A day of reckoning or final judgment
Regardless of belief, you will be judged by God on May 21, 2011 to determine if you will be saved by Jesus in the Rapture or left behind during the End Times until the End of The World on October 21 2011.
The 89-year-old Harold Camping now says the real Day of Judgment will occur on Oct. 21. He claims that the Apocalypse on May 21, 2011 was an invisible judgment day and was a misunderstanding.
“We’ve always said May 21 was the day, but we didn’t understand altogether the spiritual meaning.” The end of the world will be October 21, 2011.
Glad he cleared that up!
JUDGEMENT DAY IN BRITAIN AND CANADA
( spelled with an e ~ wonder what the e stands for? )
JUDGMENT DAY IN THE USA
Faith can be a beautiful thing,
Blind Faith can be very dangerous~ JC 2011
Judgement Day Jokes
A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, ” We will all die some day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event.”
“Everybody shook their heads in agreement with this comment.”
Then the leader said to the group, “What would you do if you knew you
only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, and then the Great Judgment Day?”
A gentleman said, ” I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives.”
“Very good!” ,said the group leader, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.
One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, “I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction.”
“That”s wonderful!” the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.
But one gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly and said, “I would go to my mother-in-laws house for the 4 weeks.”
Everyone was puzzled by this answer, and the group leader ask, “Why your mother-in-law’s home?”
“Because that will make it the longest 4 weeks of my life!”
A doctor, a nurse, and a leading GOP candidate for the 2012 Presidential Election are in line together at the Pearly Gates, waiting to be judged. St. Peter appears to speak with them and asks them what good they have done in their lives.
Doctor: “I have devoted my life to the sick and needy and have had a part in caring for and healing thousands of people.”
St. Peter: “That’s great. Go ahead in to heaven. And what about you?”
Nurse: “I have supported the Doctor and his patients my entire life as an adult, etc…”
St. Peter: “Wonderful. Please proceed in with the Doctor. And what about you?”
GOP Candidate: “I have tried to educate people about the fact that there is no climate change. If elected President I will lower the taxes for the rich. And I don’t believe in evolution. Those that do will probably not be saved, right? Finally, I will reform the medical system so that the poor and middle class will pay more so that we can save more money.”
St. Peter: “Oh, I see. Please go on in . . . but you can only stay 1 night! ( We like to save money ,too) You’ll probably want to be with your other GOP friends, right?”
Inspirational Story about Sometimes there isn’t “anymore”
One day a woman’s husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t “anymore”. No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more “just one minute.”
Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, say “I love you.” So while we have it, it’s best we love it, care for it, fix it when it’s broken and heal it when it’s sick.
This is true for marriage…..And old cars… And children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.
Some things we keep — like a best friend who moved away or a sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.
Life is important, like people we know who are special.. And so, we keep them close!
I received this from someone who thought I was a ‘keeper’! Then I sent it to the people I think of in the same way… Now it’s your turn to send this to all those people who are “keepers” in your life, including the person who sent it, if you feel that way. Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know you love them?
Let every one of your friends know you love them. Even if you think they don’t love you back. And just in case I’m gone tomorrow:
I LOVE YA!!!
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The GOP and Judgement Day October 21, 2011
Both, New Jersey governor, Chris Christie, and Sarah Palin (what is she now?) have been wrestling with whether to enter the race for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination.
Will they make a date, or will they, like Harold Camping’s failed end of the world predictions, miss their date with destiny in 2012?
Maybe Palin and Christie are waiting to see what happens on October 21.
If they decide not to run, it won’t be the end of the world.
If they decide to run and get elected, it would be the end of the world.
Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, Dumb People, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Humor, I've learned that..., In the News, Interesting Facts, Jokes, Politics, Religous, Wisdom Tags: chris christie, Funny, gop, judgment day, sarah palin