Do ewe know any goat puns?
Goat out there and find the best answers.
You don’t have to be sheepish about it, just bleat out your answers.
I wasn’t kidding around when I told you that you could be a real silly billy.
I don’t billy-ve this.
Some people are trying to ram their answers down our throats.
Things like this really get my goat.
When we pick the best pun we don’t have to lock horns.
I just want to say goat for ewe
thanks for your help!
Meh-eh-eh the force be with ewe!
Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, 5. Funny Poster of the Day, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Great Pictures, Humor, I've learned that..., Kids/Children, PUNS Tags: goat puns, goats, Humor, kids, Puns
How children perceive their grandparents and what Children say about their Grandparents!
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she’d done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, “But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!” I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye….
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you start at 1?”
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
“Who was THAT?”
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.”
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally polished my halo and I said, “No, how are we alike?” “You’re both old,” he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
“What’s it about?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”
7. I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colours yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what colour it was. She would tell me and was always correct.. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colours yourself!”
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, “It’s no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.”
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, “I’m not sure.” “Look in your underwear, Grandpa,” he advised “Mine says I’m 4 to 6.”
10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, “Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.” The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. “That’s interesting.” she said. “How do you make babies?”
“It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”
11. Children’s Logic: “Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher. The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.” The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked.
“Sure,” said the young boy confidently. ‘It means carrying a child.”
12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties.
“They use him to keep crowds back,” said one child.
“No,” said another. “He’s just for good luck.”
A third child brought the argument to a close.”They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrants.”
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. “Oh,” he said, “she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we’re done having her visit, we take her back to the airport.”
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don’t get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.
SEND THIS TO OTHER GRANDPARENTS, ALMOST GRANDPARENTS, OR HECK, SEND IT TO EVERYONE.
IT WILL MAKE THEIR DAY!
Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, 4. Old Age or Golden Years Jokes, 5. Funny Poster of the Day, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Funny Pictures, Great Posters, Humor, I've learned that..., Interesting Facts, Jokes, Kids/Children, Relationships, Wisdom Tags: grandparents, grandparents and children funny, Humor, Jokes, kids
Why we love children…
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mum, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!’
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, ‘The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents ..’
A woman was trying hard to get the sauce out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.. ‘Mummy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now She’s hitting the bottle.
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, ‘What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?’
POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, ‘Are you a cop? Yes,’ I answered and continued writing the report. ‘My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?’ ‘Yes, that’s right,’ I told her. ‘Well, then,’ she said as she extended her foot toward me, ‘would you please tie my shoe?’
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my canine partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. ‘Is that a dog you’ve got back there?’ he asked.
‘It sure is,’ I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, ‘What’d he do?
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, ‘The tooth fairy will never believe this!’
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, ‘Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.’
‘And why not, darling?’
‘You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.’
While walking along the footpath in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead bird. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton wadding, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: ‘Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes.’ (I want this line used at my funeral!)
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. ‘I’m just wasting my time,’ she said to her mother. ‘I can’t read, I can’t write, and they won’t let me talk!’
Many kids are picky eaters. Some prefer sandwiches without crusts, some like their sandwiches cut diagonally, while others only like plain hamburgers. It’s difficult for parents to provide nutrious lunches that they know their children will eat.
Any teacher will tell you how frustrating it is to see a beautiful apple just thrown in the garbage. The really sad thing is that it happens so often.
Here is one way that you can make your kids lunches more appealing.
Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, Education, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, FUNNY EMAILS, Funny Pictures, Humor, I've learned that..., Interesting Facts, Kids/Children, Wisdom Tags: creative, Funny, healthy, kids, lunches