London Olympics Empty Seat Controversy
Britain’s Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt called the development “very disappointing” and said he believes the empty seats were set aside for so-called Olympic family members, which includes corporate sponsors.
The Supreme Court Still Thinks Corporations Are People
and
Mitt Romney thinks corporations are people so there is no empty seat controversy at the London Olympics! RIGHT?
But according to Elizabeth Warren ~ Corporations are NOT people.
Elizabeth Warren introduced President Obama at a big fundraiser in Boston:
“Mitt Romney tells us, in his own words, he believes corporations are people. No, Mitt, corporations are NOT people,” she pronounced. “People have hearts. They have kids. They get jobs. They get sick. They love and they cry and they dance. They live and they die. Learn the difference.”
This is so confusing!!!!
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London 2012 Olympics and the Vuvuzela
Will the Vuvuzela be banned at the 2012 Summer Olympics in London?
Vuvuzelas and Wimbledon Which is louder, the Grunt or the Vuvuzela?
While visiting South Africa during the 2010 World Cup, London Mayor Boris Johnson made it clear that he doesn’t want the horns to catch on back home.
“I’m not convinced that we are going to need an Olympic vuvuzela,” Johnson said “It’s a wonderful thing. It’s a beautiful instrument. It’s very easy to master, but I don’t think we’ll necessarily be issuing them to the crowds.”
“I’m very impressed with the vuvuzelas and,” but he added, “we’re thinking of not having them.
Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, email Forwards, In the News Tags: London, olympics, vuvuzela
2012 London Summer Olympics Humor and Jokes
“The Olympics is my favourite sporting event. Although I have a problem with that silver medal. When you think about it, you win the gold – you feel good, you win the bronze – you think, ‘Well at least I got something’. But when you win silver, it’s like, ‘Congratulations, you ‘almost’ won. Of all the losers, you came in first of that group. You’re the number one ‘loser.’ No one lost ahead of you.”
Jerry Seinfeld
The Anti-Social London Games
To Shake or Not To Shake…
British Athletes are being advised to NOT shake competitors hands during the games. The chance of getting sick may hinder their chances of doing their best. The advice was described as “a bit odd” by Debrett’s, the accepted authority on British etiquette. “It is the normal English greeting,” the etiquette adviser Liz Wyse told the Associated Press. “It is a bit of a sad thing if people are worried about shaking hands in case it spreads disease. It’s not very sociable.”
Olympic Vuvuzelas????
While visiting South Africa during the 2010 World Cup, London Mayor Boris Johnson made it clear that he doesn’t want the horns to catch on back home. “I’m not convinced that we are going to need an Olympic vuvuzela,” Johnson said “It’s a wonderful thing. It’s a beautiful instrument. It’s very easy to master, but I don’t think we’ll necessarily be issuing them to the crowds.”
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Greek Warship not allowed to storm London
Plans to sail an ancient Greek warship down the Thames as part of the Olympic opening ceremony have been abandoned amid fears it would prove too popular and become a safety hazard, it has been claimed. Greece is furious that their plans have been “sunk.”
Never heard such nonsense ~ TOO POPULAR????
Isn’t that what they want?
Many Bristish football (male) fans were upset with the new coin that explains the offside rule.
The Royal Mint published a diagram on the back of a 50p coin which explains how the offside rule works.
They felt the diagram should have looked like this:
Betting Advice: I’m putting all my Money on the Italian in the Olympic swimming final. I don’t know his name but apparently he’s a postman in Venice.
One of my friends was bragging that he made the Olympic Team. What does he want ~ a medal?
It’s 2012 Olympics in London. A Scotsman, Englishman and Irishman want to get in but don’t have tickets. The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate, “Mcleish, Scotland, discus” he says, and walks in.
The Englishman puts a scaffolding pole over his shoulder, “Jones, England, pole vault” he says, and walks in.
The Irishman picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm, “O’Leary, Ireland, fencing”
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At the Olympic Games, Rhoda meets a man carrying an eight-foot-long metal stick.
‘Excuse me,’ says Rhoda to the man. ‘Are you a pole vaulter?’
‘No,”‘ says the man, ‘I’m German, but how did you know my name is Walter?’
***
Olympic VIPs will be escorted around London in 4,000 BMWs – so much for the ‘green Games!
The latest news is that Victoria Beckham has turned down the offer to perform at the opening ceremony with the Spice Girls. That’s their idea of world class entertainment before the world’s stage? A washed up 1990′s group of lip syncing girls? It’s England. They couldn’t ask Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr? Cold Play, the Who or maybe Adele? They ask the Spice Girls?
England’s genius has always been in inventing things, not building them. I bet you they are using imported construction labour.
Most importantly, will Lillibet be there? Chuck and Camilla? Wills and Kate (and will she finally be preggers)? Maybe Royal Watching will be an Olympic event this year. Who is designing the hats for the British team to wear when they enter the stadium?
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Pete Jones turned up for the Olympics with some barbed wire under his arm, and came third in the fencing.
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Paul Hamm, Gymnast: I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.
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Olympic Boxing Analyst: Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.
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Olympic Football commentator: If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.
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Olympic Basketball analyst: He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn’t like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.
The Olympic Diving Champion
A young man from London met a beautiful American tourist and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.
She protested, “But we don’t know anything about each other.”
He replied, “That’s all right; we’ll learn about each other as we go along.”
So she consented, and they were married and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.
One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.
She said, “That was incredible!”
He said, “I’m training for the 2102 Summer Olympics. You see, I told you we’d learn more about ourselves as we went along.”
So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool!
She did laps in freestyle, breast stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard.
He said, “That was incredible! Are you an Olympic endurance swimmer?”
“No,” she said, “I was a hooker in Alabama and I worked both sides of the Tennessee River.”
Simon Williams, head of Weymouth and Portland’s 2012 operations team, said the sandcastle was always going to be demolished after a photo call.
The town and neighbouring Portland will host the sailing events at the Games.
Mr Williams said an “organisational decision” had been taken to dismantle the 4m by 2m (13ft by 6.5ft) sandcastle, prior to it being built.
The decision to tear it down was ~”based on the fact, as I understand it, the way it was constructed,” he said.
“It was not all sand and clearly if you have a very large sand structure with other structural elements in it, if it was to collapse while unattended, I’m sure you media guys would be on our back straight away.”
Perhaps the biggest joke of all:
April 2012 London Olympic Budget:
The current budget is almost four times the estimated cost of staging the Games at the time of the bid in 2005.
*****
Organizers of the 2012 London Summer Olympics were feeling buoyant
— as the Olympic rings floated down the Thames
We may never know if Andreas Thorkildsen, the Javelin thrower from Norway, broke the world record. Apparently the military thought his javelin was a threat so they shot it down with a roof top missile.
Q: Why did they send the Olympic judge out in search of the lost wedding ring?
A: Because he was a medal detector.
Q: Where does the track and field team keep its Olympic medals?
A: In the pole vault.
Q: Why isn’t sun-tanning an Olympic sport?
A: Because the best you can ever get is bronze.
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London Summer Olympics 2012 Jokes, Humor and Funny Quotes
Organizers of the 2012 London Summer Olympics were feeling buoyant
— as the Olympic rings floated down the Thames
to mark the final days before the Games start.
The 2012 Summer Olympic Games,
officially known as the Games of the XXX Olympiad,
are scheduled to take place in
London, United Kingdom, from 27th July to 12th August 2012.
After the 2012 London Summer Olympics Logo was released, the silly design was the object of so much scorn that organizers were desperate to avoid similar criticism when they unveiled the mascots for the Games on Wednesday. The mascots, Wenlock and Mandeville, helped London 2012 organizers realized their goal. The criticism of the mascots won’t be similar to the complaints about the logo.
No, they’ll be much, much worse.
The mascots have one eye which is a camera lens to see the world and yellow lights on tops of their heads are an homage to London taxicabs.
Pretty weird!
I’ve heard that they have had to devise another way to start the races at the London summer olympics. This is necessary to prevent numerous false starts because the sound of the starting pistol will be indistinguishable from the ambient sounds coming from outside the stadium.
***
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At the Olympic Games, Rhoda meets a man carrying an eight-foot-long metal stick.
‘Excuse me,’ says Rhoda to the man. ‘Are you a pole vaulter?’
‘No,”‘ says the man, ‘I’m German, but how did you know my name is Walter?’
***What a horrific dilemma this could be. The men’s 100-metre sprint final and men’s tennis final fall on the same day, Aug. 5, at the London Olympics. If forced, which of those would you choose to miss: Usain Bolt possibly becoming the first man since Carl Lewis to win the 100 dash at consecutive games or Novak Djokovic perhaps putting a golden sheen on what promises to be another astounding year? No problem, the 100 metre race only takes 10 seconds or less!!!
***
Chairman of the London 2012 organising committee, Lord Coe, jokes that if diver Tom Daley wins Olympic gold next year they may name the new aquatics centre after the 17 year-old.
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Where did some of these Winter Olympics events come from? Like the luge. How is sliding down a mountain on a cafeteria tray a sport?
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A lot of looting and theft occurred during the recent London riots, with one of the more shocking photos being that of a looter running off with one of the London 2012 Olympic rings!
Dressage commentator: “This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.”
Paul Hamm, Gymnast: “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.”
Boxing Analyst: “Sure there have been injuries,and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.”
Softball announcer: “If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.”
Basketball analyst: “He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn’t like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.”
It’s the 2012 Olympics. The final of the Hammer Throw event is shaping up for an exciting finish. It’s all come down to a Russian military officer, an American farmer and an unemployed Scouser.
The Russian throws first: 85 metres, just short of the world record.
Interviewed after the event he said, “My grandfather was in the military, my father was in the military and I am in the military. This gives me strength and discipline.”
Then the American throws: 88 metres, breaking the world record.
Interviewed after the event he said, “My grandfather was a farmer, my father was a farmer and I am a farmer. This gives me strength and discipline.”
The Scouser saunters up to the nets, gobs at the TV cameras and slings the hammer 95 metres, breaking the world record and winning gold for Great Britain.
Interviewed after the event he said, “My grandfather was unemployed, my father was unemployed and both said to me, ‘If anyone ever puts a hammer in your hand, throw it as far as you friggin can’.”
***
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