Romance and Old Age
I wonder if Romance and Old Age will really be like this?
An older couple were lying in bed. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood, and she wanted to talk.
She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.”
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: “Then you used to kiss me.”
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said: “Then you used to bite my neck.”
Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. “Where are you going?” she asked.
“To get my teeth!”
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A Remarkable Senior ~ An Inspiration to us all……
What a Remarkable Senior!
As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to “make a difference” in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other “seniors” who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.
Harold Schlumberg is such a person:
HAROLD SAYS:
“I’ve often been asked, ‘What do you do now that you’re retired?’
Well…I’m fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whisky into urine. It’s rewarding, uplifting, satisfying and fulfilling. I do it every day and I really enjoy it.”
Harold is an inspiration to us all.
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Funny Old Man Joke
An old man was in his golden years, but that didn’t stop him from
trying to pick up the younger ladies. He went to the local bar,
approached a very young and pretty woman and said, “Where have you
been all my life?”
The young lady takes one glance at him and says, “For the first half
of it, I wasn’t even born yet.”
An old man was in his golden years, but that didn’t stop him from
trying to pick up the younger ladies. He went to the local bar,
approached a very young and pretty woman and said, “Where have you
been all my life?”
The young lady takes one glance at him and says, “For the first half
of it, I wasn’t even born yet.”
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Lucky Day for Grandma
Lucky Day
A woman and a baby come into the doctor’s office. She was to go into a room and wait for the doctor. After arriving there, the doctor examined the baby and asked the woman, “Is he breast fed or on the bottle?”
“Breast fed”, she replied.
“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered. she did.
He pressed, kneaded and pinched both breasts for awhile in a detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed he said, “No wonder this baby is hungry, You don’t have any milk.”
“Naturally”, she said, “I’m his Grandma. But I’m glad I came today”
A woman and a baby come into the doctor’s office. She was to go into a room and wait for the doctor. After arriving there, the doctor examined the baby and asked the woman, “Is he breast fed or on the bottle?”
“Breast fed”, she replied.
“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered. she did.
He pressed, kneaded and pinched both breasts for awhile in a detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed he said, “No wonder this baby is hungry, You don’t have any milk.”
“Naturally”, she said, “I’m his Grandma. But I’m glad I came today“
“Breast fed”, she replied.
“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered. she did.
He pressed, kneaded and pinched both breasts for awhile in a detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed he said, “No wonder this baby is hungry, You don’t have any milk.”
“Naturally”, she said, “I’m his Grandma. But I’m glad I came today“
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Will I live to be 80!!!
Here’s something to think about.
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing “fairly well” for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, “Do you think I’ll live to be 80?”
He asked, “Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?”
“Oh no,” I replied. “I’m not doing drugs, either!”
Then he asked, “Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?”
I said, “No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!”
“Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?”
“No, I don’t,” I said.
He asked, “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?”
“No,” I said
He looked at me and said,”¦.
~Then, why do you even give a crap?
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3 Stages of Life
We have 3 stages of life!
Teen age:
Have Time + Energy but No Money
Working Age:
Have Money + Energy but No Time
Old age:
Have Time + Money but no Energy
