“Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.” — Anonymous
Why I won’t be walking for Exercise in 2012
Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.
I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I’m doing..
I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven’t lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.
Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’,
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they’ll say,
‘Well, she looks good doesn’t she.’
If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,……
just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older,
because there’s a lot more information in our heads.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.
You could run this over to your friends
But just e-mail it to them
Categories: 1. Funny Email Forwards, 4. Old Age or Golden Years Jokes, Email Delanteros Humor Interesante, email Forwards, Exercise, FUNNY EMAILS, Funny Sayings, Humor, I've learned that..., Inspirational, Interesting Facts, Jokes, New Year's Jokes, Wisdom Tags: 2012, exercise, Humor, New Year, Resolutions
May you have new hopes, aspirations, and resolutions for the coming year.
Have a happy new year!
I hope your year is safe and happy and rife with wonderful possibilities.
I hope love finds you and you find it.
I wish you patience and tolerance.
I want joy for you and yours.
I also hope the Mayas just ran out of room after December 21, 2012 on that rock calendar carving thing of theirs.
If you have too HAPPY a New Year’s Eve, try these cures for the Hangover:
New Year’s Eve Times Square New York New York Information: