I found these Back to School Riddles to be rather clever.
On a personal note ~ It wasn’t school I disliked, it was just the principal of it.
Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.
Q. What did the ghost teacher say to his class?
A. ”Look at the board and I’ll go through it again!”
Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.
Q. Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!
Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).
Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!
Q. What is a math teacher’s favourite dessert?
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One evening a little girl and her parents were sitting around the table eating supper. The little girl said, “Daddy, you’re the boss, aren’t you?” Her Daddy smiled, pleased, and said yes. The little girl continued “That’s because Mummy put you in charge, right?”
What did the father ghost say to the naughty baby ghost
Spook when you’re spooken to!
Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks?
In case they get a hole in one!
What do you call two people who embarrass you in front of your friends?
Mum and Dad!
How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
Three: a left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier!
My Dad thinks he wears the trousers in our house, but it’s always Mum who tells him which pair to put on!
Do fathers always snore?
No – only when they are asleep!
Canoe help me with my homework please Dad – I’m stuck!
Dad will never say
Top Ten Things You’ll Never Hear a Dad Say
10. Well, how ’bout that?… I’m lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions.
9. You know Pumpkin, now that you’re thirteen, you’ll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won’t that be fun?
8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain “up yours” attitude … I like that.
7. Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car — GO CRAZY.
6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?
5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend … you might want to consider throwing a party.
4. Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies — you know — that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring — now quit your belly-aching, and let’s go to the mall.
2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
1. Father’s Day? aahh — don’t worry about that — it’s no big deal.
Father’s Day Riddles
1. If my name was mixed with my dad’s name it would be maroon. If I mixed with mom’s I’d be just a tiny bit lighter. If my mom mixed her name and my dad’s name, it would be my name. My dad’s name is blue. What is my name? What’s my mom’s name?
2.How old is Dad riddle?
A father and son are chatting when the son poses this question: ” Dad, Im 22 now, but just how old are you?”
The father replies, “You wanna know how old your old man is,eh? Hmm, well, I tell you what. I’m as old as your age, plus half of my age.”
How old is the father?
1. My name is Purple. Mom’s name is Red.
2. son’s age = 22
let dad’s age be x
son’s age + half of dad’s age = dad’s age
22 + (1/2)x =x
22 + x/2 =x
44 + x = 2x
2x -x = 44
dad’s age is 44
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Funny St. Patrick’s Day Riddles for Children
Do leprechauns get angry when you make fun of their height?
Only a little.
Why do frogs like St Patrick’s Day?
Because they are always wearing green!
What do you call an Irishman who keeps bouncing off walls?
When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato?
When it’s a French fry!
What do you get when you cross a pillow case with a stone?
What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck!
What’s Irish and stays out all night?
Do leprechauns make good secretaries?
Sure, they’re great at shorthand!
How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman to the pot of gold?
He took a shortcut!
What do leprechauns love to barbecue?
Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
Because they’re very short-tempered!
How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
He’s Dublin over with laughter!
Why would you never iron a four-leaf clover?
Because you shouldn’t press your luck!
What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A jolly green giant!
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
Regular rocks are too heavy.
Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!
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