Posts Tagged ‘Twitter’

Modern Technology Too Complicated For Me

I was under lots of pressure to join Twitter and Facebook, so my five adult children, their wives, twelve grand kids and three great grandchildren could communicate with me in the modern way. Even at my age, I believed I could handle something as easy as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

They told me people could follow me. I said, “Where?”

That was before one of my grand kids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twittertwirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific, Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

They also told me to pin on Pinterest and post on Tumblr. I said what are pins and posts? After a little research, I found this:

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag. Besides the most common thing I said into my cell phone was, “Can you hear me yet?”

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, “Re-calc-u-lating.”  You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship.

This reminds me about a GPS Joke!

Friend #1: Are you visiting us tomorrow? Do you need directions?
Friend #2: I’m all set. I have the address, a GPS, and a GPS override.
Friend #1: What’s a GPS override?
Friend #2: My wife.

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me. However, my wife recently got a iPhone and her directions using the Apple Maps app are often misleading!

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden “Paper or Plastic?” every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them.

When they ask me, “Paper or Plastic?

I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.”

Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

The kids want me to set up an iTunes account and download some APPS - wth (what the hell) I’m catching on!

But they want me to purchase them with PayPal. Now they’ve gone to far!

I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, “No, but I do toot a lot.”

In summary, I really tried to understand and use this modern stuff but technology got in the way. That plus the fact I couldn’t understand the person on the other end of the phone line (there used to be a phone line???) when I spent hours trying to get support.

P. S. I know some of you are not over 50.  I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are.

I just found this new product from Apple:

iRon

Wonder if my wife wants one?

My last thought on this subject:

I wonder if the present will ever be referred to as the

“GOOD OLD DAYS”?

Ashton Kutcher, Demo Moore and Twitter Split

Demi: I can put up with your affair with Sara Leal.  But I’m taking off my wedding ring!

Ashton: Oh ya! I’m not following you on Twitter any more!

Demi: Not following me on Twitter… I want a divorce.

 and that’s when the fight started…  

And the world was all a Twitter!!!!